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The Nanner Bros. May 31, 2009

Posted by daveintexas in News.
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It needed more.


Lovely Texan Welcomes Tea-Party Hater Janeane Garofalo To July 4th Tea Party May 30, 2009

Posted by Cathy in News.
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Spunky Texans won’t take the name-calling without a response.  Hey, it’s just like us to offer a warm and friendly TEXAS welcome to someone who calls us racist, tea-bagging red-necks.

This woman’s story is real.  Want to hear the more of what she has to share?

*considers purchasing of a fresh pair of boots and Stetson*

The Islamicization of Europe May 29, 2009

Posted by Michael in Economics, History.
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Demographically, it’s a done deal, according to this new video.

Thanks to Cathy.

For your viewing pleasure May 28, 2009

Posted by composmentis in News.
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I give you . . .

Stunt Plane!

This is Captain Ralph speaking.  I, along with the crew, would like to thank you for flying with us today.  We know you have many choices and can spend your money elsewhere, but we’re glad you chose us.  

If your so inclined, please fill out one of the comment cards which can be found in the seat pocket in front of you.  We always enjoy your feedback to let us know how we’re doing.

Please rember not to leave anything on the plane and we hope to see you again real soon.

Who Knew That Snakes Came With The Grill? May 27, 2009

Posted by Edward von Bear in Crime, Ducks, Family, Food, History, Humor, Man Laws, News, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Sex.
Tags: , ,
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It seems to me that Michael has been ripped off. Apparently, his Mr. Lamm’s Heavy Metal Grill Thingy was missing a key value added service.

Namely, snakes!

She said a welfare officer took three hours to arrive, by which time she and neighbour Jack Jewitt, in his 80s, had resorted to cornering the snake with a washing basket.

Mr Jewitt threw the basket over the reptile and tipped it into a plant pot held bravely by Mrs Rogers.

The pair then put a saucer over the pot, held down with a car battery, assuming it was a baby python.

Mrs Rogers said she had been getting the barbecue ready for a family gathering on Saturday afternoon when she saw the creature.

She told the Gloucestershire Echo: “It was horrid and I was petrified. I thought it was plastic and my kids had played a joke.

“I was going to brain them as I have a phobia about snakes, inherited from my mother.”

The RSPCA identified it as a harmless cornsnake and said it was probably an escaped pet.

Who cares about the snake? What about the grill?

Priorities, people. Priorities.

The Creative Mix of Spielberg & Lucas May 26, 2009

Posted by geoff in News.
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This was a neat encapsulation of how Spielberg and Lucas put the Raiders of the Lost Ark story together.

Isn’t Justice Supposed To Be Blind? May 26, 2009

Posted by Cathy in Crime, Law, News, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting.
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blind justiceYep. That is a blindfold she’s wearing.  Keeping those scales of justice balanced, and fighting off any opposition with a sword, if she must.  This spunky gal means business. AND she was baring her arms long before our current First Lady.

I’m no lawyer, but this is what I remember from a theology class on Ethics.

  • Good judgment is a personal quality. (Some people develop better judgment than others.)
  • Judgment requires an understanding of laws, rubrics, or standards of behavior that are expected.
  • Judgment is the act of comparing personal actions or events in light of  laws, rubrics or standards and determining whether compliance occurred.
  • The quality of  judgment requires non-relevant personal issues remain that way…non-relevant.

The Walk May 25, 2009

Posted by Michael in Heroes.
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At Arlington National Cemetary, it is done all day, all night, in every kind of weather, by the Sentinals of the United States Army.  I have witnessed The Walk, and it is very moving. Exactly twenty-one steps, in twenty-one seconds, to recall to mind a funeral with maximum military honors.

If you are in the Army, it is incredibly difficult to get into this unit, the Old Guard.  They take their job of guarding The Tomb very seriously.  They are normally  combat veterans, and are seriously prepared to defend The Tomb.

This video was first posted here by Dave in Texas, who noticed that you can hear a rifle salute in the background at around 2:35, for one of our fallen who is being laid to rest with military honors.  Just another day at Arlington National Cemetery.

Note the level of detail in the ceremonial inspection by the NCO before a new soldier is deemed worthy of doing The Walk.  It is necessary that his weapon and appearance are perfect.  The rifle is inspected every which way and stroked with white gloves, to make sure it is super-clean. The shoeshine is observed from all angles.  The back of the uniform is checked out for dandruff.

I think it is so cool that the Army does this. Someone is out there, all day, all night, in every kind of weather, long after the tourists are gone and the cemetery gates are closed.

In a freezing January rain in Washington, at 3 a.m., someone is doing The Walk at Arlington, to honor our fallen soldiers.

Happy Memorial Day to all of you.

May we never forget those whose sacrifice made this great country possible.

More information about The Walk here.

Management 101: Get The Winners In There To Show People How It’s Done May 24, 2009

Posted by Edward von Bear in Commenting Tips, Economics, Entertainment, Handblogging, History, Law, Man Laws, News, Personal Experiences, Sex, Sports.
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Nolan Ryan is one of the best pitchers ever. Now, it seems as though he may be one of the best front office executives ever. This guy just screams “winner” when he walks into a room, and you sure as Hell better listen to him when he talks.

How good is Ryan as a leader and executive? Just look at what is happening to the Texas Rangers ever since he became President of the Team. They are winning.

The Rangers also have started to accentuate “Texas.” After years of wearing “Rangers” across the front of their jerseys, all but their road grey uniforms read “Texas.”

“He’s a difficult man to say no to when you meet Nolan,” Matwick said. “He’s run banks, run cattle businesses, two (minor league) teams. He knows business. People remember him as a Hall of Fame pitcher, but he’s a very astute businessman.”

Being the astute businessman that he is, Ryan understands that winning is the biggest key to putting seats in the stands. And the biggest key to winning in baseball is pitching, which is what made the Ryan Express famous.

He didn’t win 324 games and throw a record seven no-hitters without knowing a thing or two about pitching.

“I enjoy the business side of it because of the challenges and trying to see what works and what doesn’t work and how we can enhance the fan experience, how we can get more people in the ballpark and all that,” Ryan said. “Also, we knew this: Nothing replaces a winner. If you’re going to draw and have the support you want, you’ve got to have a winner.”

The Rangers arrived at Minute Maid Park for the Houston portion of the Lone Star Series on Friday night leading the American League in innings per start at 61⁄3. That has helped translate into the fourth-best record in the AL for Texas.

“When Nolan speaks, you listen,” Texas manager Ron Washington said. “He’s got this Texas drawl about him that he means business. You know he knows what he’s talking about.”

In a rare move by a major league club, the Rangers held two separate camps for the pitchers last winter. In November, the pitchers were given conditioning expectations heading into spring training. It also helped Maddux familiarize himself with his new staff and vice versa.

“In the pitching camp in January we told them what the expectations were the first day in spring training,” Ryan said. “And they were going to be throwing batting practice from the first day on. We expected them to be physically capable of doing that. We didn’t have one person opt out or even try to opt out of any work that we did. I couldn’t be any happier with the way spring training went and the way Mike handled it.”

Trust me, when an ass kicking Hall of Famer comes in and tells you how things need to be done, only a imbecile would ignore him. And just for the hell of it, here is the greatest moment in sports evah!

*Warning! Keith Olbermann Douchebaggery To Follow*

My Back Doesn’t Even Hurt May 23, 2009

Posted by skinbad in Crime, Ducks, Entertainment, Law, Man Laws, Travel.
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But I’m running out of patience and time. Here you go, dude. Best wishes to you and your family.


The dead animal on the scales is supposed to be a barrister’s wig. I wanted to include something about “the barbed cock of justice” but thought I should stay family friendly.

Farewell, Sobek May 22, 2009

Posted by Michael in Personal Experiences.
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Sobek has announced that he is embarking on a new adventure in life, one which will severely restrict his time online, so he has said goodbye.

I’m not sure what is going on, but Sobek says he thinks he might be back in four or five years, depending on whether he gets time off for good behavior.

I thought I should acknowledge his departure.

Well, actually, this was not my idea, Sobek pretty much begged for this in a comment thread below.  But, hey, it’s a good idea, even if it came from Sobek.

I first encountered Sobek when he had his own blog, with a really cool tag line about the Hawley-Smoot tariffs which I loved, and he was posing as an Egyptian crocodile god.

It became a regular read for me.


Now, that’s not the coolest blog persona ever, really it was just a ripoff of the Allahpundit idea, but it worked.  Also, I was thinking that anyone still pissed off about the Hawley-Smoot Tarriff Act is awesome.

Maybe some of you out there don’t know about the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act.  That means you are a retard.  I’m not going to give you a link.   Use google, you retard.

Eventually, Sobek burned out and quit blogging and joined the misbegotten crew of Main Page Commenters here at Innocent Bystanders.

We learned that he has impossibly cute kids.

27 (Kiddos)

Some of us met him in person, and learned that he is a thoughtful, somewhat shy, and very scholarly person. Nobody really cared about that, because we also learned that his wife is super-hot. So we continued to allow him to post at Innocent Bystanders.

We learned that he reads calculus textbooks and learns to speak Farsi for fun (how sick is that?) and he has an obsession for intricately detailed, anal-retentive art projects.

He Whines About How It Hurt His Back To Do This

He Whines About How It Hurt His Back To Do This

When I die and go the heaven, and appear before the Throne of Grace, my first question to the Lord God Almighty is going to be, “How did you get Mrs. Sobek to stay with him?”

Still, it’s been worthwhile to get to know Sobek.

Here’s how I normally look at people. There are only two kinds. Energy sinks and energy sources. Nobody seems to be neutral. Some people suck energy out of you, and others give it back.

Sobek is a major source of energy.  He is just one of those people who gives it back.

So, for Sobek I’m going to offer a benediction, used by Aaron, which God commanded for Israel, and which we Lutherans continue to speak to this day:

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

My Pen is Huge May 21, 2009

Posted by Pupster in Ducks, Entertainment, Family, Handblogging, Man Laws, Personal Experiences, Science, Women Ranting.
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All I'm saying is that it is a really big pen

All I'm saying is that it is a really big pen