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Why Are Women Weird About Shoes? June 21, 2009

Posted by Michael in Philosophy.

Just askin’.

I don't think you can walk too fast with these on

I don't think you can walk too fast with these on

Thanks to Dustbury.com, via Tattered Bits of Brain.


1. Vmaximus - June 21, 2009

Fast no

You bet!

2. Joan of Argghh! - June 21, 2009

Walk? Hell no.

Strut yo’ stuff? Hell yeah!

3. Lipstick - June 21, 2009

*Lipstick struts her stuff. Promptly trips and falls.*

4. Edward Von Bear - June 21, 2009

*calls us Alex the Chick to explain….*

5. Edward Von Bear - June 21, 2009

Damn! I mean “Calls up”.

6. alexthechick - June 22, 2009

Those shoes aren’t made for walking. At least not far.

Why are women weird about shoes? Because shoes are sexy. The right pair of shoes makes you feel sexy. And the right pair of shoes and/or stompy boots will make certain people do precisely what you tell them too.

Plus it’s a relatively inexpensive treat as long as you don’t turn into Imelda Marcos.

7. Edward Von Bear - June 22, 2009

^wow. That was quick

8. Will - June 22, 2009

Are those mini rocket nozzles? Someone needs to light those candles.

9. Retired Geezer - June 22, 2009

I got some New Shoes.

They are Reeboks and they have an air channel between the heel and the toe.
Like walking on boobies pillows.

10. composmentis - June 22, 2009

Those shoes would be even sexier if they were open-toe. The ones in the pic, not Geezer’s Reeboobs.

11. kevlarchick - June 22, 2009

I would wear Geezer’s shoes. Life’s too short to walk in pain.

12. lauraw - June 22, 2009

Those are hideous.

They look like they were part of a student design project.

13. composmentis - June 22, 2009

Actually, I prefer bare feet standing in front of the stove.

14. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

Ninja please, women aren’t weird about shoes. Although those things up above are hideous, but then so is most of the crazy shit you see on a runway.

As has been explained before, shoes and assesswah (see what I did there) are about creating an outfit. Think of it as a nice tie (not a clipon) to go with your charcoal grey suit, but add about 4 more things.

Since everyone knows Dave is all about the legs, a nice pair of shoes can accentuate same, the calve are toned, legs look longer, it’s uh.

s’cuse me a minute.

Ok, anyhow, they make a woman look smoking hot, is what. That they are occasionally willing to do this for me is cool, and I don’t go lookin a gift horse in the mouth. It will bite me, horses are like that.

15. Mrs. Peel - June 22, 2009

Those particular shoes are ugly. But the reason I like shoes is because they are fun. I’ve got this one pair of red heels that I’ve been saving for just the right occasion…

16. Pupster - June 22, 2009

I was gonna say that Mrs. Pupster is shoe ambivalent, until I looked up ambivalent- “1: simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action”

I always thought ambivalent meant ‘to have no strong feelings about’ or ‘neutral’. Huh.

Mrs. Pupster couldn’t give less of a shit about her shoes.

Her mom is a purse-fiend, and gives her ‘old’ ones away, so Mrs. Pupster has a dumpster sized box full of high-end handbags. The last time she had an Ebay extravaganza she made about $500 on purses.

17. lauraw - June 22, 2009

I’ve got this one pair of red heels that I’ve been saving

Mrs. Peel, I have these classic skinny strappy black stiletto things that are sexy just sitting in the box, and there’s never a reason to wear them. Ten or twelve years now. I take them out and look at them once in a while.

It’s heartbreaking.

18. Pupster - June 22, 2009

Reason? REASON?

Roll up the Levi’s and vacuum the living room with those shoes and a set a pearls ala June Cleaver.

Reason. pfft.

19. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

>> there’s never a reason to wear them.

at least there’s something to lay on when the mood strikes.

That Imelda Marcos had a thing for teh shoes dint she?

Crazy woman.

20. Cathy - June 22, 2009

Shoes add attitude. Do I wanna be Sexy today?

Powerful? Comfy? Practical? Maybe just Humorous?

So how am I feeling? Check out the shoes. That is all.

You gents need to keep up.

21. Cathy - June 22, 2009

*and purses can be like shoes** kudos to Mrs. Pupster*

22. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

>> Shoes add attitude.

What, I can’t speak English anymore?

I noticed the prevailing attitude last weekend was not comfy.

I notice these things.

23. skinbad - June 22, 2009

Behold: This year’s hottest shoe–The Douchnozzle 2000&trade

24. skinbad - June 22, 2009


25. composmentis - June 22, 2009

Pups, I believe the word you were looking for is apathetic, not that you’d give a shit.

26. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

It is ignorance, or apathy?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

27. composmentis - June 22, 2009

Fight apathy.

Or don’t.

28. sohos - June 22, 2009

Actually, I prefer bare feet standing in front of the stove.

Cozmo I didn’t know you cooked!

29. sohos - June 22, 2009

Just looking at those shoes makes my good leg hurt.

30. Vmaximus - June 22, 2009

The thing I like about high heels it it makes a woman’s legs look great. In the above picture the legs do not look great. Is it the shoes? or just bad looking legs?

31. wiserbud - June 22, 2009

or just bad looking legs?

Those are Michael’s legs.

32. Pupster - June 22, 2009

GIVE ME APATHY, OR GIVE ME something else. No biggy.

33. Edward Von Bear - June 22, 2009


how do you know?

34. wiserbud - June 22, 2009

how do you know?

He wore a skirt to the CT meetup.

Well, not at first, but as the evening went on, he just got more…..comfortable, I guess.

35. Edward Von Bear - June 22, 2009

^good to know

36. lauraw - June 22, 2009

That wasn’t Michael’s fault!

Some guy sent us a big package of blunts.

37. composmentis - June 22, 2009

Let’s see . . . enjoys prancing around in a Batman outfit – check. Bitchier than most women with pms – check. Interior decorating skills that would put Elton John to shame – check. Not too difficult to figure Miss Michael for a cross dresser.

38. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

To his credit, he doesn’t look awful in a skirt.

39. Mrs. Peel - June 22, 2009

ha, I just noticed 23. skinny made me laugh.

I imagine those are model legs. Models have very little body fat or muscle.

40. TattooedIntellectual - June 22, 2009

Why are women crazy about shoes?

B/c they fit, and they fit well (for the majority), and you don’t have to worry about the fat or the dimples or the rolls, or whatever.

41. sohos - June 22, 2009

I am still trying to locate red shoes to send to Tat…

42. TattooedIntellectual - June 22, 2009

I imagine those are model legs. Models have very little body fat or muscle.

*Sigh* I hate shopping for boots b/c I have huge calves.

43. Mrs. Peel - June 22, 2009

I’m a little worried about Pepper 😦 Lately, she’s having a lot of trouble getting up, is sleeping really heavily, and can’t get very far on walks. She doesn’t seem to be in any pain – she just doesn’t have much energy. This morning, I got her out of her cage to go outside. Normally, she would bounce out and run to the door, but today, she struggled out of her cage and then promptly lay down again. I went to pet her to see if she was feeling bad, and she rolled over for me to pat her belly, but she couldn’t seem to muster the energy to get up.

Of course, after she’d been outside for a few minutes, she came galloping over to me as usual at the magic word “breakfast.” So maybe she was just half asleep. But still, it’s not like her.

44. Michael - June 22, 2009

She doesn’t seem to be in any pain – she just doesn’t have much energy.

Cathy has mentioned to me that she learned from The Dog Whisperer that dogs are loathe to show pain or demonstrate that they are sick. They are pack animals above all, and don’t want the rest of the pack thinking something is wrong and lookin’ at them funny.

They also are naturally crazy eager to take walks.

Meaning, the symptoms you describe sound pretty serious, and maybe you should call a vet.

45. Mrs. Peel - June 22, 2009

I was talking about going to the backyard – she still has a great deal of enthusiasm for afternoon walks. (If she didn’t want to go for an actual walk, I would measure her for her shroud.) She doesn’t like going to the backyard because I stay inside instead of standing on the patio waiting. (I don’t stand on the patio waiting because she won’t come when I call.) I think she’s ok…just getting old.

46. Michael - June 22, 2009

Good to hear that. Casey’s pretty old and lazy these days also, but she still gets excited about an actual walk. A trip to the back yard, not so much. I think her average day is about 90% motionless.

47. lauraw - June 22, 2009

Might be time to start adding some Brewer’s Yeast to her feed, and some pureed veggies and meat. Older dogs don’t process kibble so good.

Eventually, the bad days do start to outnumber the good ones…sigh. Not looking forward to when that happens to Bubba.

48. Vmaximus - June 22, 2009

My heart goes out to you Mrs Peel, I cannot say much more at this time.

49. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

It’s pretty hot early this summer down here. Hopefully nothing more than that, it sure can sap your energy.

Dogs can get themselves some arthuritis too. Makes em pokey.

I got to meet Bubba. Very sweet guy, but I think I made him a little nervous.

50. Michael - June 22, 2009

I’ve been drinkin’ a bourbon with crushed spearmint leaves, courtesy of Lauraw, out by the pool. Cheap bourbon tastes OK with fresh spearmint. Life is good. Thank you.

By the way, Laura, that lemon balm we talked about awhile back — Cathy ripped it out today. That stuff was like the invading horde of Genghis Khan. She’s ready with the Roundup if it tries to reestablish itself. It was just robbing water and nutrients from the trumpet vines that are establishing themselves over there on that wall, and look real pretty.

51. Michael - June 22, 2009

The spearmint is in a pot, by the way. It’s under control.

52. Mrs. Peel - June 22, 2009

Yeah, she’s obviously got some arthritis. We feed her a senior citizen food. Her poops are fine, so I don’t worry too much about that.

53. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

I don’t know if vets still recommend it, but I can remember ours telling us to grind up a little ibuprofin in the dog food.

54. Vmaximus - June 22, 2009

Mint Julip Michael
Mint simple syrup bourbon.

Do not use Ibuprofen it can be fatal in normal doses. Carbuprofin is the doggie pain killer and is not too bad, cheap if you shop around it is also called Rimidrall? or something like that.

55. Vmaximus - June 22, 2009

Max had arthritis as well as many other things and the carprofin helped him a lot. I added the bu it is carprofin not carbuprofin

56. Michael - June 22, 2009

Mint Julip Michael
Mint simple syrup bourbon.

Why fuck that drink up with syrup?

57. Mrs. Peel - June 22, 2009

Hmm, I might try that. Thanks for the tip, Vmax. She doesn’t act like she’s in pain, but she does lick her legs sometimes, and we figure she does that when her bones hurt.

58. Dave in Texas - June 22, 2009

yeah well we laid our kids on their bellies when they were babies

(always some newfangled goddam doctor thing coming along 20 years after I needed it)

59. Cathy - June 22, 2009

A few years back our vet prescribed Rimadyl (25mg daily) for Casey to help with aging. Stuff was not cheap. Still have some and occasionally give her half a tab if she is looking like she is in pain.

The daily 40 minute walks are probably doing more good keeping her active and relatively pain free. Got a bottle of Hartz (doggie) Aspirin Care (81mg) that I might start giving her. She is really slowing down. I’m not sure if it’s the heat, or if the old-age aches and pains are creeping up on her. She is pretty amazing for a three-legged crimefighter, and keeps up with that long-legged muscular fast beauty, Peaches. I loves her.

60. Michael - June 22, 2009

IB Factoids of the Day™:

1. More that half of our spam recently has been offering nude pics of Kim Kardashian. What’s up with Kim? Who is she?

2. Counting this one, we are 413 comments away from our 100,000th comment. I’m really curious to see who scores that comment.

61. Lipstick - June 23, 2009

Peel, Mr. L. has a lot of dog raising and training experience. He thinks that Pepper isn’t feeling well and should probably see a vet.

“Sounds like joint pain, especially because it seems to be when Pepper wakes up. Get some bloodwork done, too.”

62. Lipstick - June 23, 2009

The bloodwork would check for anything transmitted by ticks.

63. Mrs. Peel - June 23, 2009

Kim Kardashian is someone who wears bad clothing. I know of her only because of Go Fug Yourself.

Thanks, Mr. & Mrs. L.

64. geoff - June 23, 2009

Kim Kardashian is someone who wears bad clothing

Hunh, didn’t know you can make a living doing that. Must be a Stimulus job.

65. Edward Von Bear - June 23, 2009

IIRC, she also makes a lot of money by taking off those clothes with her boyfriend of the moment.

But she does have a nice backside.

Not that I would know or have ever seen any of this stuff.

I just heard rumors.

I swear.

66. Marilyn K - June 23, 2009

these shoes are sooo ugly and unpractical URGH!

67. Edward Von Bear - June 23, 2009

and impractical as well.

68. Joey Buzz - June 23, 2009

Mike, try some Elijah Craig.

In regards to those shoes; are those two little ball thingys above the heel a statement like the things you see hanging from the back of pickup trucks these days? Just asking….

Mrs. P. I have a 14yo yellow lab going through the same stuff. Just lost his hearing too.

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