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This Is Why I Don’t Wear Jeans August 21, 2009

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Family, Food, Humor, Literature, Music, News.
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What in the high holy hell is this?

Seriously, this is why I wear cargo pants.

Comments»

1. Mac - August 21, 2009

You may have found the first video involving women, jeans, walking, and inappropriate ogling that I’ve ever disproved of.

2. Michael - August 21, 2009

Who’s turn is it to club Eddie with a frozen mackeral?

3. Edward Von Bear - August 21, 2009
4. MCPO Airdale - August 21, 2009

Those are for folks that suffer from that northern European genetic disorder; Noassatall.

5. Mac - August 21, 2009

I have never said this before in the history of the internets before: you have bested me, Mr. Bear. I bow to your superior insane video finding skills. Ferretcicles!

And related to the video in this here post, I especially love how each level has its own theme. Can’t wait to see the boss levels.

6. lauraw - August 21, 2009

That was perhaps the most annoying video I’ve ever seen in my life. Was it just me, or was even the music downright antagonistic?

7. Edward Von Bear - August 21, 2009

Yes on both counts

8. Retired Geezer - August 21, 2009

Eddie, stop staring at my butt.

Man, that video just would. not. end.

9. Edward Von Bear - August 21, 2009

Mac:

Glad to oblige.

10. Cathy - August 21, 2009

Those wimmins walked like men. Fugly. Annoying. Eternal. Yawn.

11. reason - August 21, 2009

Were all those models women? Clearly some of them were, but others had some SERIOUSLY androgynine asses.

Then again, it’s August, and I’m all pee-pee’d up right now…

12. reason - August 21, 2009

Also, I’m sure those are great and all if all you ever do is walk. But after a few washes and some extended sitting on non-upholstered surfaces, how ugly do they look once the face wears half-off?

I mean, at some point, you’ll wind up looking like composmentis at a soccer match after a deep-fried breakfast…

13. skinbad - August 21, 2009

DUCKS!!

You should see their video for “Wankers.”

14. Dave in Texas - August 21, 2009

Attention Pure Lutheran Doctrine.

Trouble brewing.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9A7IL8G0&show_article=1&catnum=0

This is mostly why I think the camps are macrame classes.

15. BrewFan - August 21, 2009

If only they could get rid of that pesky Bible, things would be a lot calmer at the ELCA convention.

In fairness, the WELS think the ELCA is to Christianity what Nancy Pelosi is to the Heritage Foundation.

16. BrewFan - August 21, 2009

If certain Texas Lutherans would like to try a bible-believing denomination they could go here: http://www.edenroad.com/cgi-bin/kingdomtools/ktpublic.rb

17. Michael - August 21, 2009

WELS think the ELCA is to Christianity what Nancy Pelosi is to the Heritage Foundation.

I used to think that myself, Brew. In fact, to some extent I still do. But, you just gotta pick your poison. There’s a lot wrong with the legalism that infects the Missouri Synod which I used to belong to, and WELS even more so. We got tired of it. We’re in a conservative ELCA church (which was formerly a “moderate” Missouri Synod church) where a gay pastor would never be considered a viable call.

I figure, at the end of the day, we’re all preaching Pure Lutheran Doctrine™, but everyone has their own set of cultural barnacles that have attached to the faith. Pure Lutheran Doctrine™ is really just my way of saying “Gospel.”

Dave, the camp you are assigned to does, in fact, feature four hours of intensive macrame classes every day to break up the theological training and take your mind off the smell of tuna casserole wafting through the camp. Have fun.

18. Michael - August 21, 2009

Also, I hope you all noticed that somebody from the Democratic Republic of Congo showed up here and laughed uproariously at my hilarious squirrel posts.

19. Dave in Texas - August 21, 2009

“cultural barnicles”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAA>HAHAHAHHAAA

you’re killin me now.

20. Michael - August 21, 2009

you’re killin me now.

Dude, Baptists are not any different. For example, there is nothing in the Bible that says, “Thou shalt act like thou art proud of being a doofus,” but Baptists all seem to think that is some kind of religious obligation.

21. Joey Buzz - August 21, 2009

dude easy, dunking does not = doofing!!

22. Sox - August 21, 2009

Who’s turn is it to club Eddie with a frozen mackeral?

After posting this tragedy, everybody needs a turn.

23. Dave in Texas - August 21, 2009

>> Thou shalt act like thou art proud of being a doofus

The Great Suggestion.

What was that all about anyhow?

24. Edward Von Bear - August 22, 2009

22:
So, I guess next time, it’s dead ferrets in a freezer.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

25. Michael - August 22, 2009

The Great Suggestion.

What was that all about anyhow?

“Commission” is a great word, connoting both the delegation of authority, and an imperative command.

Dave is exactly right about this — the Great Commission is command language, not a suggestion, not a proposal to be vetted by a committee, not a PowerPoint slide deck for a business case that needs to be signed off by umpteen departments.

The best sermon I ever heard about the Great Commission was based on the story of the Roman centurion in Matthew 8.

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.”

Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.”

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that very hour.

Commissions start with language like “Go!” to a “man under authority.” Military people like the Roman centurion understand this. Power can be delegated, and you can execute on that authority.

Just before the Great Commission, Jesus makes this incredible claim: “All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.”

Then you need to focus on His verbs:

“Go.”

“Baptize.”

“Teach.”

Just after the Great Commission, Jesus offers some reassurance. Having claimed ultimate authority, He concludes with a promise of rear echelon support: “I am with you always, even unto the ends of the earth.”

That right there is the basis for the “evangelical” aspect of Christianity and the missionary posture of the Church.

It’s not an option.

26. BrewFan - August 22, 2009

There’s a lot wrong with the legalism that infects the Missouri Synod which I used to belong to, and WELS even more so.

You are right about that. In fact, IMHO, legalism is worse then liberalism in the church because legalism always results in the church/authority trying to insert itself between the believer and God. One of the things that puzzles me about some Christian denominations is their clinging to the ‘priesthood’. This is an institution that flies in the face of Christ’s teaching.

27. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2009

can’t you just baptize babies and make this efficient?

I don’t get it.

28. BrewFan - August 22, 2009

can’t you just baptize babies and make this efficient?

I think this has been tried but evidently it doesn’t ‘seal the deal’ like you think it would.

29. Michael - August 22, 2009

legalism is worse then liberalism in the church because legalism always results in the church/authority trying to insert itself between the believer and God.

Lutheran Millennium HQ™ has developed a strict training program to address this problem and teach obedience to Lutheran Millennium HQ™.

30. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2009

so, no oopsie on the early church. They didn’t really mean baptize, like Jesus did.

31. reason - August 22, 2009

Growing up Catholic, the sacrament of Baptism, IIRC, brought the child into Christianity, but recognized that the responsibility of raising and guiding and teaching the child laid in the hands of the parents. It was the sacrament of Confirmation (around 15) where, more or less, you are taking the reins of your own Christian walk into your own hands. Confirmation, I remember well. It was a very somber moment, standing before the Bishop, my sister as my sponsor, laying claim to my future, followed by one of the most profound feelings of joy I’ve felt.

Anyway, for what that’s worth to the rest of you…

It’s a moment that I can still think back to now and feel a strong renewal of dedication to my faith, even though I am not in a Catholic churth anymore.

32. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2009

giving to God what he gave to us.

yep.

33. lauraw - August 22, 2009

Bad knees?

34. BrewFan - August 22, 2009

Bad knees?

Dave got bad knees the old fashioned way.

35. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2009

yeah. I did get those.

36. wiserbud - August 22, 2009

Dave got bad knees the old fashioned way.

Modeling?

37. Cathy - August 24, 2009

^ Modeling? So where are all the animal rights activists?????!!!!!

They should get concerned about the hazards of these lovely animals and leave the fountain darters and smelts in our water supply alone.


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