The Perfect Birthday Song

The Perfect Birthday Song September 21, 2009

Posted by daveintexas in Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sitemeter, Sports, Travel.
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Man, this is one bouncy little tune.

Comments»

1. compos mentis - September 22, 2009: Happy Birthday, Dave?
2. geoff - September 22, 2009: Seems like it’s that time of the year, so I’m going to commit:

Happy Birthday, Dave!!
3. lauraw - September 22, 2009: Hubby sings this song to himself on his birthday. All day long. It’s really annoying.
4. pupstersez@yahoo.com - September 22, 2009: Pupster
5. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: wiserbud
6. Pupster - September 22, 2009: TIMMAH!

^Uhm…never mind. New phone.

I have it on good authority that Dave’s birthday was 20 days ago. And by ‘good’ I mean ‘questionable’.
7. compos mentis - September 22, 2009: On this day in 1972, NFL linebacker and berry enthusiast Nate Dingle was born.
8. Pupster - September 22, 2009: http://tinyurl.com/252zau
9. Enas Yorl - September 22, 2009: Congratulations! You’re Older!
10. reason - September 22, 2009: And now that pupster’s made his email public…

RELEASE THE SPAM.
11. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: I actually sneaked it by you guys on the 2nd.

Really looking forward to my colonoscopy.
12. I am Dave's Spastic Colon - September 22, 2009: Yeah…’bout TIME there was a little INPUT around here.

By the way, jalapeños on the burger? Bad idea jeans.
13. Lipstick - September 22, 2009: Happy Birthday Dave!
14. composmentis' spastic colon - September 22, 2009: @11 – hey, call me up sometime when you’re in the area. I can SHARE SOME STORIES…
15. Tushar - September 22, 2009: OT:
Mark Hemmingway from NRO Corner just linked to Geoff’s unemployment chart. He bemoans the lack of triangles, I think.
16. Tushar - September 22, 2009: >>Really looking forward to my colonoscopy.

Um.. you will have to look behind. That is where they do it.
17. geoff - September 22, 2009: Um.. you will have to look behind. That is where they do it.

When my turn comes, as it soon will, I ain’t lookin’ at all. That way, quantum mechanically, it’ll be like it never happened.
18. I am Dave's Frightened Anus - September 22, 2009: *epic clench*
19. Dave's O-ring - September 22, 2009: She’s gonna blow!!
20. reason - September 22, 2009: Can we go back to talking about waterlillies and moob-coozies now?
21. kevlarchick - September 22, 2009: Dude. Try a mammogram sometime. Pancake city.
22. harrison - September 22, 2009: Dave could probably get one of those.
23. Pupster - September 22, 2009: They give them to dudes. My friend had a cyst on his chest in the nippular area, and he had to get one. He says the ladies at the clinic just laaaaughed and laughed.

Womens can be so cruel.
24. Lipstick - September 22, 2009: My mammogram wasn’t that bad at all. hmmm, maybe they did it wrong.

As for the butt check-ups, I heard that they introduce a lot of air into the area. So, if you’re leaving the doctor’s office and are alone in a small elevator and release this air, it would be embarrassing if when the now foul conveyance hit the ground floor, there were three people standing there about to enter the putrid elevator.

That’s what I heard from, uh, a friend.
25. Mrs. Peel - September 22, 2009: I hear mammograms are worse when there isn’t as much to pancake? Haven’t had to have one yet.
26. Michael - September 22, 2009: I hear mammograms are worse when there isn’t as much to pancake?

Maybe that explains why it “wasn’t that bad” for Lipstick. Makes sense to me.
27. Lipstick - September 22, 2009: Well, I’m due for another one, so I will report back.
28. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: >> Dude. Try a mammogram sometime. Pancake city.

No thanks. I will however give you a free self-exam if you want.

I suppose it isn’t really a self-exam if I do it though.

We’ll call it the “Dave-O-Mammo-Gram”
29. d3ft punk - September 22, 2009: Mammogram talk makes this blog like 100000% more interesting.
30. geoff - September 22, 2009: No thanks. I will however give you a free self-exam if you want.

I’ll do it for half of what Dave charges.
31. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: How does someone give someone else a self-exam?
32. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: I’ll do it for half of what Dave charges.

I’ll do one for half of what Dave charges.
33. lauraw - September 22, 2009: *gets confused and accidentally divides a breast exam by zero*

*A huge space ship suddenly materializes above Sweden*
34. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: >> I’ll do it for half of what Dave charges.

Charges? You can do that?

*puts away credit card.
35. geoff - September 22, 2009: How does someone give someone else a self-exam?

You’ve obviously never been with 3 ft of Dave.
36. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: I don’t know about wiser’s boobs,

but I can tell you his butt-steak seems healthy enough.
37. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: but I can tell you his butt-steak seems healthy enough.

Thanks, Dave. Do you take Blue Cross?
38. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: >> Do you take Blue Cross?

like a viking
39. geoff - September 22, 2009: Team IB Secret Code Names:

wiserbud: Rump Roast

DinTX: Mr. Whipple
40. lauraw - September 22, 2009: geoff: The Cartesian Cipher
41. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: Lauraw: The Hot Hunchback.
42. Dave in Texas - September 22, 2009: Pythagorean Phantom
43. Michael - September 22, 2009: Note that this whole thread is a result of KC talking about getting her boobs pancaked, which I thought was pretty hot.

Damn you, KC.

I’m going to stop thinking about pancaked boobs now. I really am. I’m going to think about Pure Lutheran Doctrine™.
44. lauraw - September 22, 2009: Kevlarchick: Tits Under Glass
45. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: That’s a delicacy in the south.
46. Michael - September 22, 2009: I used to cook at a Perkins, and I have big hands.

I know pancakes.
47. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: That’s a delicacy in the south.

I imagine it’s a delicacy everywhere.

TFH!!!!
48. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: I was a short order cook at Denny’s on I-35 in Carrollton.

I know how to deliver the Aunt Jemima treatment.
49. Michael - September 22, 2009: BTW, the best item at a Perkins is the potato pancakes. With bacon and apple sauce.

It’s also a big pain in the ass for the cooks during rush hours, because they have to churn out those cakes really fast, and the potato pancakes take too long and tie up space on the griddle.
50. lauraw - September 22, 2009: Goodnight, moroncritters and lovebugs.
51. wiserbud - September 22, 2009: Goodnight, moroncritters and lovebugs.

Hugs and cuddles, my misshapen fantasy girl.
52. daveintexas - September 22, 2009: night gal!
53. Michael - September 22, 2009: Awww, my mom used to call me a “lovebug.”

*Michael slaps his face repeatedly*

I really do not want to confuse my feelings about Lauraw with my Mom.
54. geoff - September 22, 2009: G’night, Miss Laura.

Back to proposing, I guess. Quit distracting me, you guys!!
55. Lipstick - September 22, 2009: Awww, my mom used to call me a “lovebug.”

Awww. Night Sweetiepies.