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Even the Smallest Candle Burns Brighter in the Dark October 22, 2009

Posted by geoff in News.
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…said my fortune cookie earlier this evening. WTF? Anybody know what that means?

Comments»

1. Dave in Texas - October 22, 2009

you’re supposed to add “in bed” to the end of every fortune cookie bit.

2. Eddie The Bear - October 22, 2009

Put it in chart format and let your mind go from there

3. Mrs. Peel - October 22, 2009

It means that if you blow your candle out, you are likely to be eaten by a grue.

4. d3ft punk - October 22, 2009

It means that if you have a ridiculously small…ahemdorsal fin, then find a reeeeeeeeally desperate woman. Gratitude will overcome repulsion (or hilarity).

Okay, you could say it’s because even a small light source can be well seen when it is dark out. For example, how insects are drawn to the light of your overhead light in you vehicle at night.

It’s telling you that don’t worry about how worthless and pathetic you are, just get a job with a bunch of idiots (DMV, grocery store, ACORN). That way, you’ll be less worthless and pathetic by comparison.

Boy, there weren’t kidding when they said nothing good happens after midnight.

5. MostlyRight - October 22, 2009

Written by a Chinese guy with a Napolean complex…in bed.

Must suck to fall within that stereotype demographic.

6. Michael - October 22, 2009

Even big candles do not seem so bright in sunlight.

Meaning, the Lutheran theology is correct.

Am I the only person here with an ounce of sense?

7. d3ft punk - October 22, 2009

Lutheran Decimal Autocracy, maybe.

And leave it to you to make it all about the size of the candle.

In bed.

8. MostlyRight - October 22, 2009

I spelled Napoleon wrong, dammit.

9. d3ft punk - October 22, 2009

You spelled Napoleon wrong. In bed.

10. Lipstick - October 23, 2009

Even if you’re a nincompoop, if you work with total morons, you’ll seem like the smart one.

11. geoff - October 23, 2009

Seems like it means “it’s OK to suck, because there’s always a situation where your suckiness won’t completely ruin things.” But that’s not very uplifting.

I think “Your majesty is like a stream of bat piss” was much easier to follow.

12. geoff - October 23, 2009

…or does it mean that every male member is ready to go in bed, regardless of its original dimensions?

13. Rick - October 23, 2009

You got a glow in the dark winkie, huh?

14. lauraw - October 23, 2009

It might be some typically opaque Asian reference, something to do with hope in dark times, or it could be the small dick thing.

15. Dave in Texas - October 23, 2009

could be both

16. Uniball - October 23, 2009

Even the Smallest Candle Burns Brighter in the Dark – On the Toilet.

17. Will - October 23, 2009

Haven’t you heard? There’s a new suffix for fortune cookies.

18. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere - October 23, 2009

It means when you turn out the lights, your lover will stop laughing hard enough to fake an orgasm for you.

19. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere - October 23, 2009

And for the record, BrewFan knew that already.

20. Michael the Second - October 23, 2009

I’ve always liked to replace eyes with thighs in songs.

21. geoff - October 23, 2009

I’ve always liked to replace eyes with thighs in sthongs.

FTFY.

22. kevlarchick - October 23, 2009

The male commenters in this thread are compensating for their small candles.

23. lauraw - October 23, 2009

You can’t hiiiide
Those lion thighs

24. Russ from Winterset - October 23, 2009

These thighs
Are cryyyyyin

These thighs have seen a lot of love
But they’re never going to see another love
like I had with you

25. skinbad - October 23, 2009

No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
The small-candle man
Behind blue thighs

26. BrewFan - October 23, 2009

Don’t it make my brown thighs
Don’t it make my brown thighs
Don’t it make my brown thighs blue!

27. Pupster - October 23, 2009

in your thighs
the light the heat
in your thighs
I am complete
in your thighs
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your thighs
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your thighs
I see the light and the heat
in your thighs
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your thighs

28. geoff - October 23, 2009

My thighs adored you
Though I never laid a candle on you,
My thighs adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn’t see
How thigh adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far away

29. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

Blue thighs…

Baby’s got ..blue thighs….

30. Mrs. Peel - October 23, 2009

When I look into your big brown thighs
It’s very plain to see
That it’s time you learn about the facts of life
Starting from A to Z…

31. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

All the boys
think she’s a spy

She’s got Bette Davis’ thighs

32. BrewFan - October 23, 2009

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest thighs I’ve ever seen

33. wamk - October 23, 2009

I’ve been meaning to tell you
I’ve got this feelin’ that can’t subside
I look at you and I fantasize
You’re mine tonight
Now I’ve got you in my sights

With these hungry thighs
One look at you and I can’t disguise
I’ve got hungry thighs
I feel the magic between you and I

-Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

34. wamk - October 23, 2009

Don’t want to close my thighs
I don’t want to fall asleep
Cause I’d miss you baby, and I don’t want a miss a thing

35. Pupster - October 23, 2009

It’s the thigh of the tiger
It`s the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watching us all
with the thighs of the tiger

36. wamk - October 23, 2009

Is this the real life
Is this just fantsy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your thighs, look up to the skies and see
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I’m easy come, easy go; little high, little low
Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me

37. Pupster - October 23, 2009

I’ve heard the accusation before
and I ain’t gonna take any more believe me
the sun in your thighs made some of the lies worth believing
I am the thighs in the sky looking at you I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules dealing with fools I can cheat you blind

38. BrewFan - October 23, 2009

Close your thighs and I’ll kiss you
Tomorrow I’ll miss you
Remember I’ll always be true

39. Pupster - October 23, 2009

The thighs of Texas are upon you
All the live long days
The thighs of Texas are upon you
And you cannot get away

40. Pupster - October 23, 2009

For your thighs only
Only for you
You’ll see what no one else can see
And now I’m breaking free
For your thighs only
Only for you
The love I know you need in me
The fantasy you’ve freed in me
Only for you
Only for you

41. BrewFan - October 23, 2009

They, said some day you’ll find
All who love are blind
When you heart’s on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your thighs

42. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

And Thiiiiiii-ee-iiiiiiigh….

Will always love you……

43. BrewFan - October 23, 2009

Sad thighs, turn the other way
I don’t wanna see you cry
Sad thighs, you knew there’d come a day
When we would have to say ‘goodbye’

44. Michael - October 23, 2009

Laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our hearts a thumpin’ and you
My brown thighed girl,
You-ooo-ooo, my brown thighed girl.

45. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

Doctor, my thighs
Cannot reach the sky
Is this price
For having learned how not to cry……

46. Dave in Texas - October 23, 2009

Thigh to meee
and tell me everything is all right
thigh to meee
and tell me that you’ll stay here tonight

47. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

Look into my thighs
You will see, what you mean to me
Search your heart , search your soul
And when you find me there, you’ll search no more

48. skinbad - October 23, 2009

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thighm

49. skinbad - October 23, 2009

Turn around
EverynowandthenIfallapart
Turn around, bright thighs

50. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

I close my thighs…
Only for a moment and the moment’s gone.

51. skinbad - October 23, 2009

Where did you come from?
Where did you go?
Where did you come from
Cotton-thighed Joe?

52. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

When Irish thighs are smiling
‘Tis like the morn in Spring.

53. skinbad - October 23, 2009

Blue Spanish thighs, prettiest thighs in all of Mexico
True Spanish thighs, please smile for me once more before I go
Soon I’ll return bringing you all the love your heart can hold
Please say “Si, si”, say you and your Spanish thighs will wait for me

54. skinbad - October 23, 2009

I looked into my father’s thighs.
My father’s thighs.
I looked into my father’s thighs.
My father’s thighs.

(Eric Clapton dedicated this to Mackenzie Phillips)

55. Michael - October 23, 2009

These thighs — cry every night for you.
These arms long to hold you again.
The hurtin’s on me yeah,
But I will never be free no my baby, no no.
You gave a promise to me yeah and you broke it, you broke it. Oh, no.

56. skinbad - October 23, 2009

You’re just too good to be true.
Can’t take my thighs off you.

57. Michael - October 23, 2009

Skinny, I love that song. I posted it here once.

58. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

What did I do?
What did I say,
To turn your angel thighs my way?

59. skinbad - October 23, 2009

I like Clapton. Especially the acoustic stuff.

Milo Venus was a beautiful lass
She had the world in the palm of her hand
But she lost both her arms in a wrestling match
To get a brown thighed handsome man
She fought and won herself a brown thighed handsome man

60. wiserbud - October 23, 2009

She sings her songs with open thighs
Never holding in the pain
Of all the generations she sings about
She sings her songs with open thighs
Songs of distant voices through her they go

61. Michael - October 23, 2009

Yeah, you got satin shoes
Yeah, you got plastic boots
Y’all got cocaine thighs
Yeah, you got speed-freak jive

62. Mrs. Peel - October 24, 2009

Well it’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows
No one owns a piece of my time
And there’s a…wait, it’s “long-haired girl.” Crap. I always change it to “blue-eyed man” when I sing it, and I forgot that wasn’t the original. Ok, never mind. I guess we’ll go with this:

The gentleman’s thighs are blue
But little do they see
Why am I beating my brains out?
He’ll never belong to me!

That could come from Watchmen.

63. lauraw - October 24, 2009

You guys kill me.

64. Thighbrow Photograph | Innocent Bystanders - May 4, 2016

[…] a trip down memory lane, visit this old thread for lots of awful thigh […]


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