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December 12, 2009

Posted by Michael in AA - Uncategorized.
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1. harrison - December 12, 2009

This is your best post yet.

2. Michael - December 12, 2009

How the heck did this happen.

Oh, and fuck you, Harrison.

3. harrison - December 12, 2009

Temper, temper…

4. harrison - December 13, 2009

Can anybody else find this or am I trapped here forever?

5. Michael - December 13, 2009

You can just keep rereading my brilliant post until I let you out.

6. lauraw likey de invisible thread at http://tinyurl.com/y9rxjh9 - December 13, 2009

I’m bookmarking it.

7. Michael - December 13, 2009

OK, Laura, but don’t leave the door open so Harrison can get out.

8. daveintexas - December 13, 2009

shhhhhh

9. Enas Yorl - December 13, 2009

Woah. It’s like that twilighty show about that zone.

10. Michael - December 13, 2009

This is embarrassing.

11. BrewFan - December 13, 2009

This is scary!

12. Pupster - December 13, 2009
13. Michael - December 13, 2009

This is like the post that got aborted, and refused to die.

I guess I’m OK with this as long as nobody from The Hostages shows up.

They would actually make fun of me for this.

14. Michael - December 13, 2009

Yannow, I think I’m just going to . . .

15. Michael - December 13, 2009

push Laura’s link off the recent comments.

16. lauraw - December 13, 2009

BOOOYAHHH

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

17. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2009

It was a dark and stormy night…

18. lauraw - December 13, 2009

If this ever made the Top Posts list (it won’t), next to the little blue bullet, there will just be an unclickable blank.

Kind of like a secret passageway in an old house.
Very appealing.

19. BrewFan - December 13, 2009

*creaking door*
*clanking chains*
*unexpectedly cold air*

Velcome to Michael World! Bwahahahaha!

20. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2009

what’s that smell?

21. wintersetruss - December 14, 2009

I took the blue pill to get here, and now I’m asking myself the same thing over & over again:

Why oh why didn’t I take the RED pill?

22. The Spanish Inquisition - December 14, 2009

Nobody expects us.

23. lauraw - December 14, 2009

Nice setup, Dave. Russ walked right into that one.

24. Eddie The Bear - December 14, 2009

So this is what happens when I touched that one button

25. wiserbud - December 14, 2009

If this ever made the Top Posts list (it won’t),

Where is that “can-do” spirit that we have all come to expect from the Bystanders?????

Oh, and this post is proof that Michael is actually just a sockpuppet for PJM.

26. wiserbud - December 14, 2009

Lipstick needs one of these:

http://tinyurl.com/ybatwdz

27. Reginald Wingate - December 14, 2009

We’re at less than 30 comments, but I still nominate this for “classic IB comment threads”

28. wiserbud - December 14, 2009

Has anyone else noticed that, at the top of this thread, it says “posted by Michael in AA…”

How brave of Michael to be so open about his personal demons, doncha think?

29. skinbad - December 14, 2009

This post could use a centered picture.

30. Dave in Texas - December 14, 2009

or another crappy music video.

31. harrison - December 14, 2009

Can someone let me out, please?
I gotta pee.

32. wiserbud - December 14, 2009

or another crappy music video.

Content? Here? In the official IB Black Hole of Entertainment?

Shirley, you jest.

33. skinbad - December 14, 2009

I gotta pee.

Michael? Please hand harrison your empty title. He needs something to fill up.

34. Michael - December 14, 2009

Stop yer whinin’, Harrison. Just pee over there in that dark spooky corner with all those cobwebs.

35. harrison - December 14, 2009

That’s LauraW.

36. Michael - December 14, 2009

Heh. Slow day. We’re up to #4 on the Top Posts list.

37. wiserbud - December 14, 2009

This thread has nothing on a fat naked woman with greased thighs.

“Nothing,” I say.

38. Wax - December 14, 2009

Wax off.

39. Stop me before I go on and - December 14, 2009

Too late.

40. What's - December 14, 2009

T.V. tonight?

41. Man the cann - December 14, 2009

BOOM!

Headshot.

42. What's up Harris - December 14, 2009

How you doing?

43. Rosie's Strap - December 14, 2009

hold still.

44. What are you, some kind of mor - December 14, 2009

Answer the question.

45. harris - December 14, 2009

sez, “Better, now, thanks.”

46. On and on and - December 14, 2009

this could easily go

47. Lauraw's Cramp - December 14, 2009

no slipping now!

48. You can leave your hat - December 14, 2009

oh yeah baby

49. Stop Calling Michelle a Kling - December 14, 2009

it’s just mean!

50. Lauraw's Tamp - December 14, 2009

Sorry. I “went there.”

51. You're gettin' - December 14, 2009

my last nerve!

52. Grey Poup - December 14, 2009

Pardon me.

53. Garc - December 14, 2009

There’s a fly in my soup.

54. Let's get It - December 14, 2009

Ooh baby . . .

55. Carri - December 14, 2009

Dead skunk in the middle of the road.

56. Carry - December 14, 2009

Loooooove is coming to our song.

57. Da doo ron r - December 14, 2009

My heart stood still.

58. Hey m - December 14, 2009

Don’t worry, be happy.

59. Mitt Romney is a Morm - December 14, 2009

How do you like your Obamessiah now?

60. Carry on my wayward s - December 14, 2009

Don’t you cry no more

61. Musliho - December 14, 2009

Where you at?

62. The cow jumped over the mo - December 14, 2009

Udderly predictable

63. Punch wiser in the po - December 14, 2009

I’m sure he’s done something to deserve it.

64. A fat naked woman with greased thighs weighs a t - December 14, 2009

But she’s still beautiful to me.

65. What is going - December 14, 2009

Huh?

66. I love bac - December 14, 2009

yum!

67. Visitor from Gab - December 14, 2009

Just checking out that nifty flag counter.

68. Shamon, Sham - December 14, 2009

Woo!

69. Spo - December 14, 2009

Yep.

70. Rosetta and Wiserbud getting their freak - December 14, 2009

everybody avert their eyes.

71. The W - December 14, 2009

This thread gets a solid B-.

72. Bring it - December 14, 2009

BIZZATCHES

73. On and - December 14, 2009

Down in Jamaica
They got lots of pretty women
Steal your money
Then they break your heart
Lonesome Sue, she’s in love with ol’ Sam
Take him from the fire into the frying pan

74. Michael - December 14, 2009

Man, this thread is great, but we are not getting any links.

Glenn, pay attention!

75. *tap tap tap* Is this blog - December 15, 2009

testing 1, 2, 3

76. I think I left the Christmas tree lights - December 15, 2009

Burning down the house!

77. I have a heart - December 15, 2009

Too early to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

78. Hey, why are you putting your clothes back - December 15, 2009

was it someting I said?

79. Avoid a cling- - December 15, 2009

Use TP!

80. clap - December 15, 2009

clap off!

CLAP ON CLAP OFF

81. Still, you turn me - December 15, 2009

There might have been things I missed.
But don’t be unkind.
It don’t mean I’m blind
But, there it is.

82. Seems like everyone has moved - December 15, 2009

looks like we’re done here.

Last one out, please roll over the fat woman with the greased thighs. She’s starting to snore a bit.

83. Michael, just another mor - December 15, 2009

homina homina

84. Com' on, guys. We can get more - December 15, 2009

this thread!

85. Pearl needs to get her drink - December 15, 2009

86. Me hungly. Me rike won t - December 15, 2009

This comment should really be deleted.

87. I ain't no Senator's s - December 15, 2009

I do feel kinda fortunate, though.

88. Eg - December 15, 2009

I collect spores, molds and fungi. How ’bout you?

89. Xenoph - December 15, 2009

Because really, isn’t any thread improved by obscure references to classical Greece?

90. ..And the beat goes - December 15, 2009

Drums keep pounding a rhythm to my brain.

91. Simon LeB - December 15, 2009

*ogling Lipstick*

I’m hungry like the wolf, baby.

92. 0 = Off, 1 = - December 15, 2009

I’m a binary man

93. Strap - December 15, 2009

Armor

94. L. R - December 15, 2009

Are you clear?

95. I sh uld fix my keyb ard s - December 15, 2009

ne f the keys nly works intermittently. I h pe this p st can still be underst od.

96. AoS mor - December 15, 2009

Woah. I must’ve blacked out at the ONT. How the hell did I get here?

Curse you, New Comments Thingy!!!

97. Dave is struggling to get a condom - December 16, 2009

extra small!

98. I'm fixin' to gets my FREAK - December 16, 2009

bom chicka wow wow

99. gettin a hard - December 16, 2009

WOODROW!!!

the only reason none of you did this is because you have manners.

100. Anyone have anything they need to get a powder-coat - December 16, 2009

I think I might know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy….

101. Ladies, no need to keep your shirt - December 18, 2009

is it warm in here? I think it is.

102. Business rocks - December 19, 2009

Let’s hope it keeps up and the New Year sees our fortunes change for the better.

103. Somebody please give those kids a mat to fall - December 19, 2009

Poor little tykes.

104. It's so cold here that that even the fat naked chick has put a coat - December 21, 2009

brrrrrrrrr……….

105. I've got my Christmas Speedos - December 24, 2009

kinda cold tho

106. Okay, who left the Christmas lights - December 25, 2009

Why do you hate Mother Gaia?

107. lauraw - January 24, 2010

test, test

108. float - January 24, 2010

Hah!

Take my hand
come with me baby
to love land
let me show you how sweet it can be

109. I can't get this extra small condom to stay - January 24, 2010

maybe if I warm it up

110. Someone be sure to tell Brett which network the Super Bowl is - January 24, 2010

That’s the only way he’s gonna see it…

111. This is all just a fig newt - January 26, 2010

…of your imaginati on

112. someone should kick Laura in the po - January 27, 2010

. . . for keeping this stupid joke alive.

113. Ya know what this place needs? More pr - January 31, 2010

anything to spice the joint up

114. Howl at the mo - February 9, 2010

Bow wow wow.

Woof?

115. Don't delete my bookmark too so - February 9, 2010

Because I thought this thread had died, but maybe not.

116. 100% pima cott - February 9, 2010

*snaps towel at thread’s ass*

It’s not dead, just boring.

117. Why - February 16, 2010

you watch your ass

118. This should go - June 13, 2010

forever.

119. And - June 13, 2010

and…

120. And on and - June 13, 2010

More?

121. Michael - June 13, 2010

Harrison, I still have this thread bookmarked. You don’t own it.

122. wax - June 13, 2010

yeah, I said that

123. Oh, go - June 13, 2010

Michael.

124. Michael - June 13, 2010

I’ll bet five bucks that Laura shows up here in the next 24 hours. She still has the bookmark.

Any takers?

125. No gambling - June 13, 2010

the internet!
It’s a sin.

126. lauraw - June 17, 2010

Close! Just off by a few days Michael.

Boring afternoon here. This is when I start rolling my bookmarks over looking for grubs.

127. Tushar - June 17, 2010

How the fuck does one click over to comment on this thread?

128. Michael - June 17, 2010

I have no idea.

129. BrewFan - June 17, 2010

I’ll bet Lamont Cranston could tell you.

130. Dave in Texas - June 17, 2010

BOO MOTHERFUCKERS

131. YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA - July 22, 2010

hi

132. Michael - July 22, 2010

Yo

133. geoff - July 22, 2010

There’s a fine feller-me-lad.

134. lauraw - July 23, 2010

Heh. Do you know how much I love you people for bookmarking this?

Oh Hell I loved you anyway, who am I kiddin.

135. Lipstick - July 23, 2010

Ahhh, 8:16 am and already 85 degrees out.

Good morning my dear peeps!

136. lauraw - July 23, 2010

It’s been like that here in CT many times this past month, LD. Weird for us.
Getting a cool rainy break today, thank goodness. We had T-storms yesterday but when I checked later the ground was still parched.

137. Tushar - July 23, 2010

Alvin Greene is stalking this thread.

138. daveintexas - July 23, 2010

this is fuckin bullshit

139. BrewFan - July 24, 2010

“I’ve been through the blog on a poat with no name…”

140. Michael - July 24, 2010

There ain’t no one here for to give you no pain.

141. the Bullfrog - July 31, 2010

*BURP!

damn, them fishies were a little greasy

142. Top Secret - August 5, 2010

*puts the tracking powder on you for coming in here

143. I got some stew you should sprinkle that - August 6, 2010

uh
ahhh

AH-CHOOOOOOO~!

…honey I don’t think that’s tracking powder…

144. yew may thank it's funny but it's snot - August 6, 2010

be sure to try the veal!

145. Michael - August 6, 2010

I prolly ought to close this thread. You people are acting stupid.

Oh wait, all our threads are stupid.

146. lauraw - August 8, 2010

147. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2010

LEAVE IT OPEN BITCH

148. Dave in Texas - August 9, 2010

shhh

149. Soup's - August 9, 2010

eat hearty!

150. Hard - August 9, 2010

for a pimp out there.

Carry - August 10, 2010

Love is coming to our song.

151. Error - August 10, 2010

Only in WordPress’s world does Carry = Michael

152. Twilight Zone - August 10, 2010

WordPress

153. Wax - August 10, 2010

…rip off

OW.

154. Thoughts - August 10, 2010

they’re very profound, would you like me to share them?

155. Tamp - August 10, 2010

down the soil lightly, else the plant roots will get no oxygen.

156. Strap - August 10, 2010

me to a glider and let me soar!

157. More - August 10, 2010

Woo-hoo. Found ya! Some morons is slow……

158. Calg - August 10, 2010

Take me away!

159. Tax - August 10, 2010

What will they tax next?

Breathing? Talking? Walking? Smiling? Farting?

160. Ride - August 10, 2010

a fat naked lady with greased thighs

161. I love Mutt - August 10, 2010

just love it!

162. Dave!!! Put some clothes - August 10, 2010

…how was the bubble-bath, Dave?

163. It's - August 10, 2010

like Shawn.

164. puts my emerald green butt thong - August 11, 2010

It’s a dress-up day for work!

165. Dave in Texas - August 15, 2010

kicks somebody’s ass

166. Michael - August 15, 2010

Someday, you people will get tired of this nonsense, and you will engage in intelligent discourse regarding matters of public importance.

Oh yes, I believe that someday this will happen.

167. Tamp - September 7, 2010

Oh great, who told Risk Funny Dildo about this place? Dude’s got no class.

168. Dave in Texas - September 23, 2010

BOOGETY BOOGETY

169. Michael - September 23, 2010

Yes, Dave, I still have the bookmark too.

170. The ghost in the machine - October 8, 2010

asphalt is a tennis term for when you fall on the line.

171. Ghostbusters - October 8, 2010

yoo hoo Caspar

172. Caspar the "Friendly" Ghost - October 8, 2010

how YOU doin?

173. harrison - October 8, 2010

This is your best post yet .

174. Michael - October 8, 2010

Ima gonna kill you, Harrison.

175. lauraw - October 9, 2010

Harrison gives good hugs. You will not touch him.

176. Michael - October 9, 2010

Damn!

177. harrison - October 10, 2010

heh.

178. Dave in Texas - October 10, 2010

Hello, Newman.

179. Newman - October 10, 2010

Hello, Jerry.

180. daveintexas - October 20, 2010

*kicks thread

181. lauraw - October 20, 2010

OW!

*dies in puddle of blood

182. I was raped by a woman in Abu Graib pris - October 22, 2010

it’s totally plausible

183. Dave in Texas - October 25, 2010

I wanna punch that little badger fucker in the nose.

184. You can't see me! - November 3, 2010
185. daveintexas - November 10, 2010

pecan pie bitches!

186. jai alai front - November 10, 2010

no more bets

187. Lipstick - November 10, 2010

Dutch Apple Pie!

188. Dave - November 10, 2010

You don’t scare me you know.

189. Michael - November 10, 2010

NOOOOOO CRUMBLES ON APPLE PIE!!!!

190. Stupid, Stuck - November 10, 2010

See: Democrats

191. Cathy - November 10, 2010

Certs is a candy-mint!

NO! Certs is a breath-mint!

STOP! You’re both right.

Certs is two (bang) two (bang) two mints in one.

192. Cathy - November 10, 2010

On holidays I eat half a piece of pecan pie sitting right next to half a piece of apple pie.

*no crumbly top stuff * just a nice flaky crust that submits to my fork tines in a most beautiful way*

193. Lipstick - November 10, 2010

Well, if the crust is properly made and maybe had some crumbs under it. . .

And I totally remember that Certs commercial!

194. lauraw - November 11, 2010

Know what? For real? It’s a breath mint.

And candy mints? They’re breath mints, too.

195. Rube Goldberg - November 11, 2010

*shoves mentos and diet coke in Laura’s shirt

196. lauraw - November 11, 2010

THERE’S ONLY ONE REASON TO TURN MINT INTO CANDY!!

TAKE THE VEIL OFF YOUR EYES!!

197. daveintexas - November 11, 2010

Retsyn is made from animal fat.

198. daveintexas - November 20, 2010

Animal. Fayut.

199. lauraw - November 20, 2010

Yet another reason to kill animals.

For their tasty retsyn.

200. harrison - November 20, 2010

It’s TWO (click) TWO (click) TWO minks in one!

201. harrison - November 20, 2010

#201

202. Dave in Texas - November 20, 2010

I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND HERE

203. harrison - November 20, 2010

NOBODY SAID YOU WERE!!!

SHIT!!!

204. Lipstick - November 20, 2010

Harrison, “two minks in one”?

I chortled so loud.

Lipstick: “bark of laughter”

Mr. L: huh?

Lipstick: It’s a long story

205. Michael - November 20, 2010

Retsyn is made from animal fat.

You are so full of shit. Retsyn is made from copper gluconate and hydrogenated cottonseed oil.

Dave, people can look this shit up online. It’s easy. Somebody invented search engines.

206. daveintexas - November 20, 2010

that’s what they want you to believe, sucker.

207. Michael - November 20, 2010

I, on the other hand, always report the truth.

Gummi Bears are made from rendered pig goop.

208. Michael - November 20, 2010

I think modern search engines were invented by somebody at Yahoo! Not Google. Yahoo! stands for Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle.

I’m on a first-name basis with their lawyers, so maybe I will check this out.

209. Michael - November 20, 2010

Google won the search engine war, by the way. Yahoo is now an ad platform. Their search engine is really just Bing rebranded as Yahoo! Bing is Microsoft’s challenge to Google.

Everybody in the industry hates Google.

210. d3ft punk - November 20, 2010

Look, so there I was in the store, and it had these bottles of wine for like $2.50 and I said to myself that that’s just a bargin ya know? and so I’m like getting these at three and four a pop and I’m slammin’ them down every night and then came the buzz and I got wasted and then maaaaaaaaaaaybe I might have done some drunk commenting and so really who hasn’t am I right or am I right or am I right I’m right right so anyways I’m there maybe doing some drunken things and THAT’S when I notice that maybe the label on these things has some words or something on them…and that’s when I found out they weren’t really wine and more like grape juice with carbonated water in them.

So. Yeah. There’s that.

Also, in other news, turns out since I left college I have the constitution of a 93-year-old grandmother.

If anybody needs me, I’ll be drowning my sorrows away with a bottle of V-8.

211. Michael - November 20, 2010

I’ll tell you why everybody hates Google.

The advertising/search industry is worth billions in annual revenue. That revenue stream hangs by a narrow thread. The thread is consumer acceptance that their privacy is secure.

Think about it. Your computer, your smartphone, your ebook, your TV, they are all planting cookies and collecting information about you on servers that can accumulate terabytes of information. The network can accumulate enormous amounts of information about you.

If you have a cell phone turned on, we know where you are, and how you can get to the nearest Chinese restaurant. No shit. If you have an iPhone, download the YP.com app and you will see what I mean. Al Qaeda and the Colombian drug cartels have learned the hard way not to use a cell phone too often.

So, one reason why we hate Google is because they are the offenders on privacy issues. They put that money at risk.

Facebook is even worse.

There is a war being fought right now, the objective of which is to come up with an appropriate balance between online privacy vs. utility vs. money.

212. Michael - November 20, 2010

If anybody needs me, I’ll be drowning my sorrows away with a bottle of V-8.

Jeebers, Mac, don’t do that. V-8 will kill you. It’s made from pig intestines.

Try cranberry juice. It cures vaginal yeast infections, so it’s got to be good for you. I know this from personal experience (not my vagina, but you get my point).

I’ll bet cranberry juice, aside from some Vitamin C, is an antioxidant or something otherwise good for you that will prevent cancer and Alzheimer’s.

Also, cranberry juice tastes pretty darn good with some gin, which is made with juniper berries, and I’m thinking juniper berries also have healthful properties.

213. daveintexas - November 21, 2010

wow, you talk a lot.

214. lauraw - November 21, 2010

(raw cranberry juice mixed with water is for treating urinary tract infections, and it does not cure them)

215. Retired Geezer - November 21, 2010

Try cranberry juice. It cures vaginal yeast infections,

Uh, is that just sprayed on?

Dribbled?

Just curious.

216. daveintexas - November 21, 2010

Power washer

217. Pupster - November 21, 2010

Oh, CMON DAVE! You are being ridiculous.

Turkey baster.

218. daveintexas - November 21, 2010

tomay-to, tomah-to

219. pajama momma - November 21, 2010

oh……..my……gawd

Where am I?

220. geoff - November 22, 2010

Spritzer.

221. harrison - November 22, 2010

Where am I?

Where would you like to be?

222. Dave in Texas - November 22, 2010

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

223. Michael - November 22, 2010

Where am I?

You are now in an alternate universe that is a part of my thumbnail.

224. pajama momma - November 22, 2010

Hello?!?!

It’s dark in here.

I can’t see.

ANYBODY?!?! HELLO?!?! ANYOOOOONE?!?!

225. Lipstick - November 22, 2010

Yoo hoo?

226. harrison - November 22, 2010

Hey, PJ.
As someone who’s been in here for going on a year;
you’ll get used to the dark.
It’s one of Michael’s best posts.

227. Cathy - November 22, 2010

Ok. Who just touched me?

228. scottw - November 22, 2010

Sorry, I thought this was the mens room.

229. lauraw - November 22, 2010

*puts hands in pockets, turns red*

idunno

230. Dave in Texas - November 22, 2010

those ain’t your pockets.

not that I’m complainin.

231. the Turkey - November 23, 2010

I’ll be safe here.

232. Helen Keller - November 23, 2010

This place looks fine to me.

233. Stevie Wonder - November 23, 2010

Seriously, I can’t see what you are all complaining about.

234. A Harmonica Player - November 23, 2010

What this party needs is a Bass Player.

235. harrison - November 23, 2010

I’d say we had gone too far but I can’t see the line.

236. Dormancy - December 7, 2010

I have briefly ceased growing.

It’ll be brief.

237. stubbed my fuckin toe - January 3, 2011

this place needs a night light

238. Cathy - January 3, 2011

a night light and a ‘stick up’

239. Ben Stiller - January 5, 2011

GO SEE MY MOVIES

240. daveintexas - January 14, 2011

WTF? I’m a Leo now?

I was a Virgo. I liked being a Virgo. It was me.

241. the gophers - February 12, 2011

WE’RE IN YOUR SEKRIT POST! EATIN YOUR ROOTS

242. roots - February 12, 2011

Ow.

243. the gophers - February 12, 2011

om nom nom nom

244. The Rodenator - February 12, 2011

KABOOOOOM!!!

245. lauraw - February 12, 2011

Says Michael on the Recent Comments list, but ‘the rodenator’ here.
This thread just gets strangerer and strangerer.

246. lauraw - February 12, 2011

Oh, it was just a lag after Michael’s editing.

247. the serfs - February 12, 2011

HELP HELP WE’RE BEING REPRESSED!

248. harrison - May 24, 2011

I have returned…

249. lauraw - May 24, 2011

rawrrr

250. Michael - May 24, 2011

Who is this Harrison fellow?

251. harrison - May 24, 2011

Your worst nightmare, buttnutt!

252. harrison - May 24, 2011

Let’s

253. harrison - May 24, 2011

fill

254. harrison - May 24, 2011

the recent

255. harrison - May 24, 2011

comments section

256. harrison - May 24, 2011

up with

257. harrison - May 24, 2011

stuff.

258. harrison - May 24, 2011

“You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.,”

it said.

259. harrison - May 24, 2011

Boo

260. harrison - May 24, 2011

-Yah!

261. Lipstick - May 24, 2011

Breakin’ a streak

262. lauraw - May 24, 2011

hunchback takes the threaaaaaad

*spikes it in the zoney-area in front of the giant lobster fork*

263. harrison - May 24, 2011

You nice ladies can do anything you want to.

264. daveintexas - May 24, 2011

oh HELLSno

265. Michael - May 24, 2011

Is this “Harrison” person a sockpuppet for Wickedpinto?

266. Lipstick - May 25, 2011

Why thank you, Harrison. More Royal Wedding stuff coming right up!

267. Retired Geezer - May 25, 2011

Include the Horse Chase… that will grab Dave’s attention.

268. harrison - May 25, 2011

Is this “Harrison” person a sockpuppet for Wickedpinto?

Of course not, elsewise each of those silly little comments would be two paragraphs of babbling inanity.

269. daveintexas - May 25, 2011

There was this one time in Okinawa, me and a couple buddies went to this crazy shoe store. I don’t mean the store was crazy, like in that Heinlein book I meant crazy shoes. EFFED up colors, different sizes for the same pair of shoes and all left feet. I was pretty fucked up so I banged a couple of Jimmy Choos in the back room with an umbrella and a monkey.

270. Retired Geezer - May 25, 2011

^ True Story.

271. daveintexas - May 25, 2011

100% NO BULLSHIT

272. Cathy - July 10, 2011

*gonna see who notices…*

273. harrison - July 10, 2011

Caught ya!

274. Cathy - July 10, 2011

Anybody like this?.

Daughter got me the CD some years back. Pleasing harmony and instrumentals. Good stuff.

275. Cathy - July 10, 2011

*waves at Harrison*

*puts finger to pursed lips*

Shhhhhh. Don’t tell ’em we’re here… Maybe no one will notice.

276. harrison - July 10, 2011

Not a word…

277. Retired Geezer - July 11, 2011

Wow… perfect timing: The Decemberists are going to be at the Idaho Botanical Garden in about a week.

http://tinyurl.com/2agtvh

Two weeks ago, Mrs. Geezer surprised me with tickets to the Alison Krauss concert at the same place. She has a voice like an angel and the band was awesome.

278. Cathy - July 11, 2011

Hi Geezer! I hope you get to that Decemberists show, and I’ll be beating Jealousy off with a Nerf club.

and Alison Krauss’ voice is amazing.

279. Retired Geezer - July 11, 2011

I’ll post a video I took of a guy dancing goofy at the AK concert. Remember Man of Constant Sorrow from Brother Where Art Thou?

This guy was so goofy (and infectious) that he got the whole crowd up.

I just have to figure out how to edit and upload it from my iPhone to teh interwebs.

280. Michael - July 11, 2011

1. Transfer video from iPhone to hard drive.

2. Edit with your video editing software that you got for free somewhere on the intertubes.

3. Upload to your free YouTube account. (I don’t think you can upload directly to WordPress — we would have to pay extra for video uploads.)

4. Copy URL and insert video in your post like any other YouTube video.

You’re welcome.

281. Lipstick - July 11, 2011

we would have to pay extra for video uploads

Want me to send you a check?

282. Michael - July 11, 2011

Want me to send you a check?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

That was precious. You are so sweet.

I almost thought I lost my Zippo a few days ago. I was in a panic, but I found it on the car seat.

Just a couple of weeks ago I got a lifetime supply of flints on Amazon.com for about $12.

283. Michael - July 11, 2011

Seriously, I thought I was buying a flint dispenser. Turns out, I was buying a case  of 24 flint dispensers, each with six flints. It was a flint wholesale deal. I’ll be dead before I use up half of these.

I also splurged and got a new wick. Turns out, I didn’t need one. After reading the instructions, I realized that I just needed to know how to take a needle-nose pliers and tug the current wick up a little higher, and clip off the charred top.

284. Michael - July 11, 2011

Hey Dave, you want some flints for your Zippo?

I got you covered.

285. daveintexas - July 23, 2011

Yeah, I hate running out of those things.

I always keep a spare inside the felt pad of the inside case. One way you can tell newer Zippos from the older ones is the newer ones have a hole in the center of the pad for storing the spare flint. Older ones you just have to stick em under the pad.

Also I am smooching the next chick that comes in here.

Sometimes I change the subject like that.

286. lauraw - July 23, 2011

ha h ah ahaaa

*evasive maneuvers*

287. daveintexas - July 23, 2011

*POUNCE*

288. lauraw - July 23, 2011

DANG.
Darnit all.

*covers face*

289. daveintexas - July 23, 2011

SUCCESS

290. Retired Geezer - July 23, 2011

I bought a Zippo a couple of months ago, so I could hang with the cool kids. Kept it in my backpack for a month but when I checked it recently, the fluid had all evaporated.
I refilled it and wrapped it in Saran Wrap.

*crosses fingers

291. daveintexas - August 2, 2011

You have to use them to get any use out of them.

Like these soft smoochable lips of mine.

292. lauraw - August 18, 2011

*materializes suddenly*

*pinches harrison*

*vanishes*

293. Retired Geezer - August 18, 2011

*notices Dave’s lips are still puckered*

Bwaaa haha haaaaaa

294. harrison - August 21, 2011

OW!!

295. daveintexas - August 21, 2011

yeah, damn, total fail on me

296. daveintexas - September 20, 2011

I want a margarita and I want it now

297. Margarita Esmuches Aldimen - September 20, 2011

Hola.

298. daveintexas - September 20, 2011

How YOU doin

299. harrison - September 24, 2011

You kids knock it off…

300. lauraw - September 25, 2011

*TACKLE*

301. daveintexas - September 25, 2011

BAM!

302. harrison - September 27, 2011

OW!

303. harrison - November 20, 2011

HA!

304. daveintexas - November 21, 2011

BIFF!

305. harrison - November 21, 2011

MUFFY!

306. lauraw - November 21, 2011

TOTO! AUNTIE EM!

307. Retired Geezer - November 21, 2011

Doctor Livingston?

308. harrison - November 21, 2011

WATSON!!

309. daveintexas - November 21, 2011

you people totally screwed this up. It was a Batman fight scene.

KAPOW!

OOF!

310. lauraw - November 21, 2011

Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?!

311. harrison - November 21, 2011

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a rat’s ass.

Wait a minute…

Line!

312. daveintexas - November 21, 2011

This is why we can’t have nice things, and daddy drinks.

313. harrison - November 21, 2011

One more.

314. lauraw - November 22, 2011
315. harrison - November 22, 2011

316. lauraw - November 22, 2011

HAH!

317. daveintexas - January 8, 2012

ICE DONG

318. daveintexas - June 15, 2012

*sigh*

319. Michael - June 15, 2012

This thing isn’t dead yet?

*pats Dave on head*

What’s the problem big guy?

320. lauraw - June 15, 2012

Yeah…this thread hurts me too.

321. Sobek - June 15, 2012

Not me. I love it.

322. daveintexas - June 15, 2012

I love it too, I just saw Harrison’s Boz Scaggs post and got a little sad is all.

We carry on, and he’s here with us. That makes it better.

I miss you Newman.

323. daveintexas - July 28, 2012

Das Knee Gecappin

324. daveintexas - August 7, 2012

I’m in here with my eyes covered up so you can’t see me.

325. Michael - August 7, 2012

I SEE YOU! You’re right there with a scar on your knee.

326. lauraw - August 7, 2012

I’m invisible too *holds breath*

327. daveintexas - August 7, 2012

you can’t see shit! *closes my eyes tighter*

I feel a hump.

328. Sobek - August 8, 2012

Ya goofballs.

329. daveintexas - September 15, 2012

Who you callin a goofball, you goofball?

330. daveintexas - October 11, 2012

shhhh… don’t move

331. Retired Geezer - October 11, 2012

*geezer’s lower lip starts to tremble slightly*

332. lauraw - October 29, 2012

Hurricane, shmurricane. I shoulda gone to work today. Boo.

333. Hurricane Sandy - October 29, 2012

I JUST TORE THE ROOF OFFA DICK’S SPORTING GOODS FREE GOLF CLUBS FOR EVERYBODY!

334. Sobek - October 30, 2012

Laura’s learning what karma’s all about.

335. daveintexas - October 30, 2012

*ghost tackles*

336. daveintexas - February 13, 2013

shhhh

337. Michael - February 13, 2013

*bangs pots and pans*

338. lauraw - February 20, 2013

ooof

339. daveintexas - February 20, 2013

my eyes are closed and I’m invisibobble!

340. daveintexas - September 10, 2013

still hiding!

341. lauraw - September 11, 2013
342. Retired Geezer - September 11, 2013

Excellent photo, Lauraw. It took me 20 seconds to figure it out.

Michael - September 11, 2013

I’m calling PETA about this outrage.

343. lauraw - September 12, 2013

Your new waterlily putting up any more flowers yet? Sometimes it takes a while for them to readjust.

Michael - September 12, 2013

No flowers, but it’s shooting up new leaves.

344. daveintexas - September 12, 2013

HOLY SHIT THERE’S A CAT IN THERE

345. Sobek - September 12, 2013

I don’t have anything to say, I’m just writing here so’s people know I can.

346. lauraw - September 17, 2013

*puts check mark by Sobek’s name

347. daveintexas - March 15, 2014

Today is a good day to do this.

348. lauraw - March 31, 2014

Oh wow, I missed the Ides of March! Sorry about that. I’ll try to do better next year.

349. daveintexas - April 1, 2014

Today is also a good day to do this.

350. lauraw - August 6, 2014

pssst

hey

351. geoff - August 6, 2014

nonny

352. daveintexas - August 6, 2014

Ooo ee, oo ah ah, Oo ee, walla walla bing bang

353. Retired Geezer - August 7, 2014

Hey, you forgot the ting tong.

354. Michael - August 7, 2014

True, RG, except it’s ting tang, not ting tong.

See, that way the tang rhymes with bang, evidence of the artistry of the lyricist (making the song worthy of covers by Alvin and the Chipmunks).

355. lauraw - August 7, 2014

chang chang changity chang she-bop

356. lauraw - September 4, 2014

Seriously.

357. Michael - September 5, 2014

Selah

358. Michael - September 5, 2014

(That’s the equivalent of she-bop in the Psalms.)

359. Michael - September 5, 2014

(Or “selah” is some kind of musical notation to the choir master, perhaps indicating a pause.)

360. lauraw - September 5, 2014

Is this really you? I’m sorry.

361. daveintexas - September 10, 2014

hunka hunka burnin looooooove

362. lauraw - September 13, 2014

HOW.

363. daveintexas - September 15, 2014

TATONGA

364. lauraw - September 15, 2014

Speaking of which, have you tried Żubrówka yet?

365. Sobek - September 15, 2014

I should start saying “Selah” during pauses in my speech, see how many people get it, versus how many people just stop talking to me altogether.

366. Lipstick - September 16, 2014

“He keeps talking to someone named Sheila. What the heck?”

367. daveintexas - September 16, 2014

Who’s Żubrówka?

368. Michael - September 19, 2014

Żubrówka is a what. You can drink Żubrówka and pitch a wang dang doodle all night long.

369. lauraw - September 29, 2014

In other news, I had to look up ‘wang dang doodle’ on the intertubes today. Never have heard of that one.

370. lauraw - September 29, 2014

I was certain it meant something dirty.

371. Retired Geezer - September 29, 2014

I think it’s mentioned in a Country song.

372. lauraw - September 29, 2014

That came up in research, yes.

373. daveintexas - September 30, 2014

hootenanny is a funny word

374. Sobek - September 30, 2014

Is not…

375. lauraw - October 13, 2014

is so

376. daveintexas - October 14, 2014

shut it croc-face

377. Sobek - October 15, 2014

Nuh-uh

378. lauraw - October 15, 2014
379. Sobek - October 16, 2014

*sticks out tongue*

380. daveintexas - October 17, 2014

Egyptian Crocodile Gods: Humor Impaired, Generally Grouchy

and why that’s good for Democrats.

381. Sobek - October 17, 2014

You know who this benefits?

382. lauraw - December 6, 2014

no

383. Sobek - December 6, 2014

Shoot.

384. lauraw - December 26, 2014

Happy New Year, invisible thread.

385. Retired Geezer - December 26, 2014

*picks at invisible thread… notices run in stockings.

386. Sobek - December 28, 2014

Just something about invisible threads, you know?

387. daveintexas - December 29, 2014

I think the something is that it’s invisible

388. lauraw - January 17, 2015

And getting more invisible all the time.

389. daveintexas - January 30, 2015

you still can’t see me!

I got my eyes closed

390. Retired Geezer - January 30, 2015

Lauraw is still glaring at Skinbad so it’s a good thing your eyes are closed.

391. daveintexas - January 31, 2015

he’s a goner

392. lauraw - February 15, 2015

Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

393. daveintexas - February 17, 2015

whip it good

394. lauraw - May 29, 2015

Devo is eh, okay. But when anything by The Clash comes on the radio, I turn it up.

395. geoff - May 29, 2015

That’s ‘cuz radio Clash comes from pirate satellite.

396. lauraw - May 29, 2015

Yeah, so this thread is why it was so vitally important to reopen the old threads. And also…

397. Retired Geezer - May 29, 2015

Free at last…

398. lauraw - August 14, 2015

Hi shmoopies.

399. lauraw - October 17, 2015

Anybody keep this page in their links?

400. Retired Geezer - October 17, 2015

No but I keep it close to my heart.

401. Sobek - October 17, 2015

No. I have to access it through the dashboard.

402. lauraw - October 18, 2015

Ahhh.

403. Retired Geezer - October 18, 2015

Actually I use a RSS feed for comments. Drop-down menus show me if there are any new comments or posts (on most of the blogs that I follow).

404. geoff - October 18, 2015

I’m technology-challenged like Sobek.

405. lauraw - October 18, 2015

I don’t want to dismay or anger anyone here, but according to the order established by the top comments of this post, I’m next.

406. daveintexas - October 21, 2015

I lost the link once and shmoopie sent it to me

407. lauraw - December 10, 2015

I wonder if that pro-abortion (wire hangers!!) troll gave up. It replied to me quite quickly last night. Guess we’ll find out later today after it gets off work at MSNBC.

408. geoff - December 10, 2015

I’m a little disconcerted that he saw through our plans to increase coat hanger sales. Dang.

I have to admit that I wrote the last paragraph of my comment simply to torture him. I am evil.

409. lauraw - December 10, 2015

Ha ha ha haa. That was a nice touch.

410. lauraw - May 21, 2017

*nudge*

411. retiredgeezer - May 21, 2017

*blinks eyes*

412. lauraw - May 24, 2017

Thanks. Sometimes I worry.

413. Sobek - May 25, 2017

A sheriff’s deputy a few counties over was murdered last week. Two Sovereign Citizen types – a father and son – decided to go on a suicide mission, so they sped along the highway until they got the attention of a deputy who tried to pull them over, then they opened fire and killed him. Then followed a chase by every law enforcement guy within a few hundred miles (as you can well imagine). The son was shot into a vegetative state and left on life support long enough to harvest his organs. The dad was injured but will live. The murdered deputy left a wife and three children. He also left a note for his wife that said, “if something bad ever happens to me, don’t let hate take over,” or words to that effect.

RIP, Mason Moore.

414. lauraw - June 5, 2017

Articles say they were on a suicide mission, but not what their original target was. Were they just trying to both die together/death by cop? Or did they have some other goal? I guess I’m not really grabbing on to what transpired here.

Sobek - June 6, 2017

Yeah, I’m not so clear, either. I guess the mission itself was suicide by cop. Usually sovereign citizen-types respect the sheriff’s office as the only legitimate law enforcement agency, but then maybe they didn’t realize the first contact they would have would be a sheriff’s deputy. That’s just a guess.

415. lauraw - October 19, 2017

Pow! Made ya look.
Mwa ha ha haaa

416. Retired Geezer - October 19, 2017

I only had one eye open.

417. Sobek - October 22, 2017

Only cool people can see this comment.

418. lauraw - October 22, 2017

That’s a fact, Joaquim.

419. lauraw - February 8, 2018

Jimbro just did this same thing at H2. I guess posting without a title creates these things?

420. lumps - January 28, 2021

Hey buuuuuddies.
Still here. I bet you forgot how to find this by now.


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