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Advice Of The Day March 28, 2010

Posted by Michael in Gardening.
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When drinking heavily, do not fall backwards into a cactus.

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1. Cathy - March 28, 2010

Methinks falling backward is probably better than forward.

*dudes with blue gloves are wisely thinking twice…*

2. the cactus - March 28, 2010

He didn’t fall. I just needed somebody to babysit the kids for a while.

3. Cathy - March 28, 2010

Dude. Yer rushin’ it.

Agave needs to be distilled to be booze.

4. Cathy - March 28, 2010

Are those golf shoes he’s wearing?

5. d3ft punk - March 28, 2010

So, if I’m not a Lutheran, thus not drinking heavily, can I then fall backwards into a cactus?

6. Tushar - March 28, 2010

Maybe the guy just wanted some accupuncture treatment.

7. TXMarko - March 28, 2010

Personally, I’m not seeing the “drinking heavily and falling backwards” part. Maybe a trip/fall or a 4-wheeler misadventure?

8. TXMarko - March 28, 2010

… and who says Lutherans cannot drink heavily?

We’re practically Catholics, for Heavens sakes….

9. Lipstick - March 28, 2010

I just watched The Big Lebowski.

Wow.

So bad.

I thought that was some kind of modern-ish classic. Dude. I want my 2 hours back.

10. wiserbud - March 28, 2010

I thought that was some kind of modern-ish classic. Dude. I want my 2 hours back.

Lipstick, I luvs ya, but you obviously missed the point.

The Big Lebowski is a funny flick.

11. d3ft punk - March 28, 2010

I was saying that the Lutherans are known for their ability to punish a liver, and how us Baptists have to go without whenever we’re rolling around in some flora.

12. harrison - March 28, 2010

I thought that was some kind of modern-ish classic. Dude. I want my 2 hours back.

Who are you and what have you done with Lipstick?

13. Lipstick - March 28, 2010

Wiser, there were moments where we chuckled, but that’s all. There were so many annoying parts.

It’s no Caddyshack or Vacation.

I commented for the feedback and I luvs ya too, Duuude!

14. Lipstick - March 28, 2010

It’s still me, Harrison. Even Mr. L said it was the second worst movie he’d seen after “Yellowbeard”.

🙂

15. Mrs. Peel - March 28, 2010

I saw the last hour or so of 50 First Dates this weekend. It was incredibly depressing.

16. wiserbud - March 28, 2010

There were so many annoying parts.

You were looking for a theme…. There is no theme… It’s just a silly movie. An extremely silly movie.

And the dude abides…..

The Dude abides. I don’t know about you but I take comfort in that. It’s good knowin’ he’s out there. The Dude. Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners.

Awww, fuck it. Let’s go bowling.

Seriously, you have to watch it more than once.

17. Vmaximus - March 28, 2010

ouch!

18. d3ft punk - March 28, 2010

Batista likes fishsticks!

Yeah, I bring nothing to the table…

19. TGSG - March 28, 2010

yup, that’s a golfer… we aren’t all that stupid though.

20. d3ft punk - March 28, 2010

Speaking of nothing (since y’all are already asleep or whatever), Obama and the Sword of Omens.

Yes, I love Thundercats that much.

21. Cathy - March 28, 2010

yup, that’s a golfer… we aren’t all that stupid though.

Stupid: He lied where he plays rather than played where it lies.

22. MostlyRight - March 29, 2010

Ah the deadly Cylindropuntia bigelovii, the Cholla, the Teddy Bear cactus, the “jumping cactus”…named for their seeming ability to jump and embed themselves onto their unsuspecting victim’s clothing or exposed skin.

I once got a few clumps of cholla up the leg of my jeans while out on a site visit with a developer on a piece of land in Fountain Hills, AZ. Each spine has a mean little hook on the end, and I couldn’t get the clumps out of my pant leg. Had to limp off to the truck and drive home in boxers down the 101 freeway for an hour despining. Glad I wasn’t pulled over.

One more cholla story…I once met an architect at Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin West who credited the cholla cactus for his marraige. Wright buried the studio half underground to help insulate the space from the cruel Scottsdale summers, with windows up near the ceiling above each draftsman’s desk to provide ventilation and natural light. Wright called the area around Taliesin West the “armed desert”, due to the rattlesnakes, scorpions, cholla and other cacti. One day this architect watched a cute, toned pair of legs jog by his window, and moments later heard a blood curdling scream. He ran outside, and found the young jogger on the ground with several clumps of cholla stuck in her calf. He helped her inside, gave her the requisite slow and careful medical attention, and the rest was history.

23. geoff - March 29, 2010

The Big Lebowski was one of those “quirky character” comedies, where almost all the comedy is derived from the characters’ personalities, rather than the jokes. Kind of like “Raising Arizona” or “Napoleon Dynamite.” I think enjoying them depends on whether you resonate with the characters at all: I liked Lebowski and Arizona, but didn’t like ND.

24. kevlarchick - March 29, 2010

Lips I will take your advice and not see the movie. I’m uncool that way.

I’m not a big movie watcher anyway. If I have two hours to kill, it will likely be with a book or a nap.

25. Dave in Texas - March 29, 2010

SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY

26. Dennis - March 29, 2010

Years ago a (woman) friend advised/demanded that I check out the movie “The Gods Must be Crazy” because “…it is soooo funy…”. Rented it. Watched it. Hours wasted. Nothing at all funny in that movie. The Big L was recommended by my son as being “soooo funny”. Rented it, watched it. With my wife. It WAS “soooo funny”. Wife thought it was stupid (liked Sam Elliott, though). Ran across Arizona channel surfing (sooo funny) Wife thought it was stupid.

As a result of all that, and other examples too numerous to detail, I find that
1. There are girl’s movies and guys movies beyond the mundane Chick Flick and John Wayne Genre and the twain shall never meet. I’m cool with that.
2. I will never understand wimmin. After 65 years I guess I can deal with that, too.

27. wiserbud - March 29, 2010

Years ago a (woman) friend advised/demanded that I check out the movie “The Gods Must be Crazy”

That movie was HORRIBLE!!! Not a single laugh in the entire film.

28. geoff - March 29, 2010

I liked the slapstick in “The Gods Must be Crazy.” I’m easy that way.

29. Dave in Texas - March 29, 2010

This isn’t Vietnam, it’s bowling. There are RULES.

30. Russ from Winterset - March 29, 2010

The bowling montage set to “Dead Flowers” by the Stones was a nice touch (it’s near the end, right before Sam Elliot introduces himself). I thought it was great, but I’m willing to give the Coen brothers a LOT of slack because Raising Arizona & Miller’s Crossing were great movies. Blood Simple was heralded as a great movie when it came out, but I wasn’t that impressed. OK flick, but not a game-changer.

31. ck - March 29, 2010

We watched The Strange Case of Benjamin Button the other night. Totally painful, 7 hours long but it seemed like 23.

32. doc - March 29, 2010

Benjamin Button seems to be a totally love it or totally hate it flick. I thought it was well done and a real tear jerker. (wife sobbed, I commented there seemed to be alot of dust getting in my eye, durnit)

33. wiserbud - March 29, 2010

You could not pay me enough to watch Benjamin Button. I hate “This will get me an OSCAR, GUARANTEED!!” kinda movies.

Maybe Pitt should have gone full retard. That might have helped.

34. MostlyRight - March 29, 2010

(speaking of movies that made my wife look at me with a mixture of pity and sorrow, as I giggled uncontrollably…here are 2 more)

No WB, everyone knows you never go full retard for the Oscar.

And besides, isn’t it ritard?

35. Enas Yorl - March 29, 2010

It’s ok Lipstick. I thought The Big Libowski sucked too. It definitely didn’t live up to the hype. Anchorman, and frankly Caddyshack fall in this category for me as well.

36. Dave in Texas - March 29, 2010

It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.

37. wiserbud - March 29, 2010

Caddyshack fall in this category for me as well.

That’s it. I’m outa here…

38. Enas Yorl - March 29, 2010

Yah I knew I’d get crap for that. I don’t care. I will dare to speak one of the Great Unspeakable Truths: Caddyshack is lame.

39. Dave in Texas - March 29, 2010

You’re gay aren’t you? Is that it?

40. sandy burger - March 29, 2010

Since this is apparently true confessions time, I gotta side with Enas on Caddyshack.

Caddyshack has quite a few great quotable lines and some funny scenes. But taken as a whole, it’s a lame movie broken up by occasional funny skits.

You know what else I put in that category? Animal House. (If Dave were in charge here, I’m pretty sure I’d be banned for that.)

41. daveintexas - March 29, 2010

You just made the list pal.

42. Enas Yorl - March 29, 2010

These days Gay is the New Black, but no, I’m not gay Dave. It just wasn’t that good of a movie, and it sure as hell doesn’t deserve the holy aura of ZOMG IT IS SO FUNNY!! that still surrounds it thirty years after it came out. No. It’s not.

Bah. It’s like the whole “bacon” and “zombies” thing on the internets these days. I just don’t get the ridiculous levels popularity for this stuff. Bacon is an ok side meat for breakfast (I prefer sausage), or a tasty addition to a baked potato. Yah yah, I get the “Uber-unPC Food” aspect but still the blatant fetishization of the stuff is annoying. But come on – waves hand at all the bacon-flavored-this, and bacon-formed-that all over the internet. Really? All that? Really???. No. I.Just.Don’t.Get.It.

Oh, and don’t get me started on all the zombies. Good grief. Some days I pray someone will remake Night of the Living Dead with characters made entirely out of bacon the so the internet will collapse into the resulting Baconzombie Singularity of Sillysuperhype. Hopefully it will take that stupid Caddyshack gopher with it.

So there. /rant

I’ve said my piece and alienated everyone on the internets, but I’m not sorry. It had to be said.
**Dons asbestos suit**
Do your worst.

43. daveintexas - March 29, 2010

So, wait I missed something, are you gay or not?

44. Enas Yorl - March 29, 2010

Re-read the first sentence on the post above you Dave.

Hah! Sandy pokes the Animal House bear! Another wildly over-rated flick. I’ll reserve you a seat on the Group W Bench.

45. geoff - March 29, 2010

Animal House is sacrosanct, if only for the zit scene.

46. Dave in Texas - March 29, 2010

Ahm just dickin with ya.

Maybe part of it for me was that I managed my expectations by keeping them low.

And I’m pretty sure I was lit.

47. BrewFan - March 29, 2010

I dare somebody to trash Airplane!

*rolls up sleeves*

48. TXMarko - March 29, 2010

When viewed in retrospect, ALL movies from the 70’s & 80’s are going to appear lame and quirky today. Everything was different then, from filming technologies to moral codes. We are spoiled these days by the awesome SFX and audio of today’s movies.

But AT THE TIME, it was some funny shit, whether one was lit or not!

You could make a HUGE list of stuff that does not play well today.

Cheech & Chong?

All Mel Brooks movies (Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety, etc)…

Anything with Steve Martin in it (Man with 2 Brains)!

49. Cathy - March 29, 2010

AIRPLANE!!!!

*smiling*snigger*

50. Cathy - March 29, 2010

Airplane’s Best Scene:

Barbara Billingsley bitch-slapping passenger

51. daveintexas - March 29, 2010

Wait wait wait wait…

Enas is black?

52. Enas Yorl - March 29, 2010

No Dave. Not black either. Run along now and if you ask nicely Cathy might make you a bacon pie!

For the record I think Airplane! was and is one of the funniest movies ever, so at least we can all agree on that.

53. Vmaximus - March 29, 2010

What about Stripes?
That’s a fact Jack!

54. bgwillia - March 29, 2010

Did that once as a child in San Francisco while running around in an apartment, slipped, and fell backward into a bed of Cacti. Took awhile to get the needles out of my back and every one hurt.

55. Tushar - March 29, 2010

I don’t have much of an opinion on the movies, but I am with Enas on the bacon v/s sausage thing. Sausage rocks.

56. Cathy - March 29, 2010

What about Stripes?

Bill Murray with an egg-beater! Sexy!

57. Mrs. Peel - March 29, 2010

I like Sneakers. Still funny today.

58. TXMarko - March 29, 2010

I thought Bill Murray used the “Spatula Treatment” in Stripes?

59. geoff - March 29, 2010

Hey – I’m not going to able to get to The Chart this week (unemployment data comes out Friday). Anybody wanna do it?

60. sandy burger - March 29, 2010

I dare somebody to trash Airplane!

I wish I could, if only to hear the indignant gasps.

By the way, have you ever seen the movie Airport that it’s a spoof of? Having seen Airplane, Airport is a funnier movie for me than I think they intended.

61. Cathy - March 29, 2010

I thought Bill Murray used the “Spatula Treatment” in Stripes?

Um. You might be right.

Mixed up scenes in the Airplane flick. Barbara Billingsley was interpreter for the guys speaking jive and not involved in the group bitch-slapping. Sheesh!

62. Barbara Billingsley - March 29, 2010

Sheesh!

Translation: Golly!

63. Michael - March 29, 2010

Wait wait wait wait…

Enas is black?

Yes, he is. I am sure of this. Ignore his denials. Enas is a black male who pretends to be white because he does not want to intimidate us. This also means he has a humongous cock.

The IB Dashboard™ knows everything.

64. Cathy - March 30, 2010

The Aunt Jemima Treatment.

You were right TXMarko.

Spatula, rolling pin, and ice cream scoop… no egg beater. Sheesh!

65. Tushar - March 30, 2010

>>This also means he has a humongous cock.

>>The IB Dashboard™ knows everything.

I sometimes wonder how The IB Dashboard™ collects these pieces of information.

66. Russ from Winterset - March 30, 2010

Bill Murray used BOTH the spatula and the eggbeater in Stripes. He’s a real five-tool player.

67. Retired Geezer - March 30, 2010

OK, I have a movie recommendation… Juno.

Pope out.

68. Enas Yorl - March 30, 2010

Well, the IB Dashboard is half-right anyway.

69. Cathy - March 30, 2010

Juno is a great flick.

I’ll say no more… this time.

70. daveintexas - March 30, 2010

>> I thought Bill Murray used the “Spatula Treatment” in Stripes?

It was the “Aunt Jemima Treatment”. An egg beater and a pancake flipper.

71. Cathy - March 30, 2010

So an eggbeater was present in the Aunt Jemima Treatment?

72. Cathy - March 30, 2010

CLUE:

Bill Murray, in the Kitchen, with a Pancake Flipper!

73. Enas Yorl - March 30, 2010

Sorry Cathy, but Bill Murray wasn’t in Clue. Maybe you’re thinking of Tim Curry?

74. TXMarko - March 30, 2010

Spatula City, anyone?

75. lauraw - March 30, 2010

SHIT!! THEY LEFT OFF THE ADDRESS!! THEY FORGOT TO SAY THE ADDRESS!!

Oh wait.
In the phone book, under ‘spatulas.’

PHEW.
*plans week-long vacation at whatever hotel is closest to Spatula City*

76. Dave in Texas - March 30, 2010

Oh.

I guess technically a pancake flipper is a spatula.

I thought a spatula was just that thing you scooped cake batter out with.

I have no life.

77. Cathy - March 30, 2010

I have no life.

Um. You have us imaginary internet friends.

78. Cathy - March 30, 2010

… and pie… when you show up…


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