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Lines From A Doctor’s Office April 7, 2010

Posted by daveintexas in AA - Uncategorized, Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Handblogging, Law, Man Laws, Nature Shit, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Politics, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
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The annual checkup, which I am obliged to follow upon ordering prescription refills and my asshole doctor decides it’s been a year since he’s seen me, and wants to reconnect.

This guy has been my GP for 18 years. I like him, because he is an asshole, like me.

Doc: ok, down to your skivvies, you know what’s next.

me: I think you drag me in here once a year just to feel me up.

Doc: (bitchy voice) goddammit, you’d think the nurses would keep the gloves supplied in here *sound of glove snapping on a wrist*.

me: I only care about the one you have right now. I don’t give a shit about the next victim.

Doc: Oh you think I enjoy this, do you?

me: If you think you’re gonna get some sympathy from me for your career decisions, you are sadly mistaken.

Doc: Shut up and spread em.

me: *whistles and looks at the ceiling.

Doc: Your prostate feels just fine to me.

me: I don’t quite know how to take that, is that information or a compliment?

Doc: Let’s call it both.

fin

 

Comments»

1. Lipstick - April 8, 2010

So he’s both your asshole doctor and your doctor who is an asshole.

Cool.

2. BrewFan - April 8, 2010

Doc: Your prostate feels just fine to me.

DinT: While you have both of your hands on my shoulders how about a massage.

3. scottw - April 8, 2010

Dave, you don’t need a prescription for aspirin.

4. kevlarchick - April 8, 2010

He’s your Rear Admiral.

5. Enas Yorl - April 8, 2010

^lol KC 😛

Your Prostate Potentate & Captain of your Colon.

6. sandy burger - April 8, 2010

My GP is an attractive woman.

To my surprise, that actually makes “personal” type of examinations a little bit more awkward.

7. MCPO Airdale - April 8, 2010

Sandy – Only because your junk is tiny.

8. dan-O - April 8, 2010

This is not a fun process.

Someone could make a fortune coming up with a “non-invasive” prostate checking machine.

9. Tushar - April 8, 2010

>>my asshole doctor

Oooh! A double entendre.

10. skinbad - April 8, 2010

This is not a fun process.

Dad said his doctor’s favorite line was “Assume the position and the smile.”

11. dan-O - April 8, 2010

>> Oooh! A double entendre.

Speaking of double entendres, I just watched Tiger’s post-round interview for the Masters. Thats-what-she-said’s were flying all over the place.

12. BrewFan - April 8, 2010

Thats-what-she-said’s were flying all over the place

hahahaha!

13. Michael - April 8, 2010

Someone could make a fortune coming up with a “non-invasive” prostate checking machine.

They are already being deployed. I think they use ultrasound to create an image of the inside of the colon wall, sort of like the ultrasound machines that take a picture of a fetus. More information, and no rubber glove.

14. Sox - April 8, 2010

They are already being deployed. I think they use ultrasound to create an image of the inside of the colon wall, sort of like the ultrasound machines that take a picture of a fetus. More information, and no rubber glove.

You trying to deprive DinT one of the highlights of his year?

15. scottw - April 8, 2010

Dave’s next “anual” checkup is Tuesday.

16. daveintexas - April 8, 2010


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