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RTFM May 20, 2010

Posted by BrewFan in Ballistics, Gardening, Lurkers, News, Stupid shit.

Look, I’m a busy man. I have things to do, people to see, and money to make. I don’t have the time to read all the comments in all the threads. That’s just the f’n way it is!

So, listen up morons. If you want a comment added to the Hall of Fame, you need to FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! They’re right there, under the picture of the Three Stooges. Don’t make a maniac out of me!

Where’s Joe?

And for no particular reason, other than I like it, I present one of my favorite Elton John songs. Bite me.


1. reason - May 20, 2010

I’d tell Elton John to kiss my ass, but I’m afraid he’d slip me some tongue.

2. skinbad - May 20, 2010

If you have time to dick around at the hostages you get no sympathy from me.

3. Michael - May 20, 2010

I nominate skinbad at #2 for the Comment Hall of Fame.

4. geoff - May 20, 2010

I nominate all comments that nominate comments.

5. kevlarchick - May 20, 2010

I nominate #4.

Hi Brew!

6. daveintexas - May 20, 2010

Moe is the one with the Mac.

7. BrewFan - May 20, 2010

If you have time to dick around at the hostages

skinny, I’m not saying you’re wrong, I just wish you would have phrased it better.

Hi KC!

8. daveintexas - May 20, 2010

I can’t wait to punch you in the dick this summer!


9. BrewFan - May 20, 2010


*note to self: buy cup*

10. Michael - May 20, 2010

*note to self: buy cup*

Wear some shoes with a rubber tread. You’ll have Dave at your mercy anywhere close to the water.

11. daveintexas - May 20, 2010

If Michael is telling you to wear a rubber, that’s between you and him.

12. geoff - May 20, 2010

Why is Dave always punching down? Doesn’t he understand politics? Does he even know what punching down means?

13. daveintexas - May 20, 2010

Geoff, you know me man. I don’t understand shit.

14. geoff - May 20, 2010

laura does a better imitation of that dork at Ace’s whose moniker thankfully escapes me. Anyway, that was an imitation of that dork at Ace’s whose moniker escapes me.

15. daveintexas - May 20, 2010

I can’t even remember now, and he busting on my chops.

He was that important to me.

16. wiserbud - May 21, 2010

I nominate comment #16

17. kevlarchick - May 21, 2010

OT: one of my favorite customers just asked if I’d like to go “noodling” when I come visit him in Tulsa.

What should I say?

18. lauraw - May 21, 2010

Ask him if it’s true that people die doing that.

19. kevlarchick - May 21, 2010

wow Laura. He said people have died doing that.
So I said I’m all in.

20. xbradtc - May 21, 2010

I nominate #20

21. lauraw - May 21, 2010

Eeek! Don’t get pulled under!

22. daveintexas - May 21, 2010

My doc says I’m good to go…oh wait, catfishin.

Never mind

23. MostlyRight - May 21, 2010

Give me all your guns, water lillies and pool cleaning equiptment or I tell someguy about Innocent Bystanders!!!

24. lauraw - May 21, 2010

1) We’d make mincemeat of him.

2) Michael wields the banhammer more freely than Ace does.

3) You’re chicken.

25. MostlyRight - May 21, 2010

I retreat, and nominate Lauraw for Ambassador to Iran.

26. lauraw - May 21, 2010


27. TXMarko - May 21, 2010

Never stick your hands in the mouth/gills of a fish that may weigh more than you do.

28. daveintexas - May 21, 2010

Never pet a burning dog.

29. d3ft punk - May 21, 2010

Never get into a knife fight with an alien. Because their knives are made out of lasers. And they will nuke your planet from orbit (AS ALL CREATURES WITH THE ABILITY TO GO INTERSTELLAR SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO I’M LOOKING AT YOU AVATAR AND ALIENS).

30. d3ft punk - May 21, 2010

So…if you were bored (as usual, on a Friday night) and you needed something to do, try reading this thing by Sobek and forever try NOT reading anything by daveintexas without the Burgess Meredith voice. Wah, wah, wah.

31. d3ft punk - May 22, 2010

Yah, okay, I don’t get the nominating thing.

Also, never let the 2007 Patriots attempt to explain LOST.

32. Cathy - May 22, 2010

Never pick your nose after chopping Jalapeno.

33. Cathy - May 22, 2010

Made a new Margarita tonight…
Got the idea from a cute buxom gal at the liquor store.
Embellished it a tad…

1 part Cointreau
2 parts Agave Tequila (more iffin’ ya want to get looped quicker)
1 part apricot Simply Fruit (a fancy Smuckers Preserves)
1/2 part quality honey
2-3 parts frozen lime-aid

Mix in a blender. Pour over ice. Makes 2 cocktails.

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