Weather Forecast For The Texas Moron Meetup September 29, 2010
Posted by Michael in News.comments closed
Just as I requested with earnest Lutheran prayers, it’s going to be perfect.
You will have a gorgeous weekend to enjoy scenic Texas.
Here’s the view from my backyard:
We got some rain recently, so it's even more green and beautiful than usual.
The Texas Moron Meetup (Bumped) September 28, 2010
Posted by Michael in Entertainment, Family.comments closed
Here’s the plan:
ALL TIMES ARE APPROXIMATE.
- Friday Night Pre-Party Moron Hook-Up
7:00 p.m. Texas Time
4030 North MacArthur Boulevard, Irving, TX 75038. 972-717-7575
Bar and bistro within walking distance of the LaQuinta & Casa Michael. The food is actually pretty good. I like the chicken fried steak and the fish tacos.
Smoking allowed in the bar. It’s a genuine “local” bar. If you are a karaoke singer, you can do it here on a Friday night. Don’t worry, you won’t have much serious competition. Texans suck at karaoke. Karaoke singers in Kansas City are better than Dallas, and they aren’t very good in Kansas City. Trust me.
- Saturday Morning Hangover Brunch
10:00 a.m. Texas Time
Home of Michael & Cathy
Serving up Bacon, Eggs, Fresh Bread (just for PajamaMomma — we somehow have two bread machines), Waffles, Coffee, Juice, etc., and Genuine Vermont Maple Syrup (acquired by us in Vermont after the CT Moron Meetup).
- Texas Moron Shooting Spree
2:00 p.m. Texas Time
Elm Fork Shooting Club outdoor range or DFW Gun Range indoor if the weather is foul.
BYO Guns, Ammo, Targets, Eye & Ear Protection, or they can be acquired at either of these places, or just borrow them from somebody. Availability of guns and ammo is not really an issue. For example, Michael can loan you Dave’s .38 revolver and a full box of ammo.
- Texas Road House BBQ Party
4:00 p.m. Texas Time
Home of Michael & Cathy, featuring our new sound system and a Pandora channel.
Serving Beef Brisket BBQ from Mr. Lamm’s Heavy Metal BBQ, and Stone Oven Roasted Chicken, along with sides such as Cole Slaw, Potato Salad, Fresh Veggies, Chips & Salsa, Pie etc.
Pool and Spa open, so bring swim-gear, flip-flops, etc. Bonus — it sounds good around my pool and patio. (There are four Klipsch fake-rock stereo systems in the backyard, powered by a dedicated Denon amp, a speaker control panel, power management, easy control from the remote with a touch-screen pad to a CPU, and a cooling module.)
Other Helpful Information:
Still need lodging?
LaQuinta Inn & Suites, 4225 North MacArthur Boulevard, Irving TX 75038,
972-261-4900 (within walking distance of Casa Michael and Spirit Grille). It’s cheap and clean, according to Geoff.
If you want to go upscale, across the street is the Four Seasons Resort and Club with a respected golf course. Most people seem to be opting for the La Quinta.
Our home and the La Quinta are right between DFW and Love Field, both reasonably priced cab rides (i.e., cheaper than going downtown). If you need local transportation, please let us know. Actually, don’t tell us, email Dave in Texas. He should earn his pie.
If you are definitely planning to attend, please let us know, along with whatever name you are planning to use so we can alert the guard gate. This will make your entry into our gated neighborhood much easier. Meaning, “DoubleplusUndead” is probably not the right name to use with the gate security guys.
My 120 Pound Journey September 26, 2010
Posted by Michael in Man Laws.comments closed
Vodpod videos no longer available.
When I’m Not Reading News. . . September 25, 2010
Posted by Lipstick in Art, Ballistics, Crime, Gardening, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.comments closed
. . . I go to this site to see the latest hideousness that is Michelle Obama’s wardrobe:
http://newsbird.wordpress.com/
Been hanging there a while and the comments make me laugh.
Today someone pointed to a brand new website that compares Michelle’s outfits to old couches, various home furnishings and even train decor. Baaad train decor:
http://moo-couch.blogspot.com/2010/09/bus-y-day.html
Another example:
.
.
Cause I’m a giver.
What Should Big Tex Say? September 24, 2010
Posted by daveintexas in Ducks, Economics, Entertainment, History, Man Laws, Religion, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Technology, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.comments closed
He’s been a fixture at the State Fair since ’52. I remember being told like a million other kids “if we ever get separated, meet in front of Big Tex.” I love the guy, but let’s face it, his social skills are pretty lame.
“Hoooooooooowdy foooolks! Welllcome to the Greeeeeeeeeeeeat Staaaaaaaaate Faaaaaaair of Texxxxxxxxxas.”
Lame.
If I were in charge of the Big Tex script, I’d make changes this year. Lighten up on the drawl, put in a few jokes.
“Hey, you! Yeah, you, in the Sooner jersey. Pussy.”
“Honey, looks to me like them funnel cakes are goin straight to yore ass.”
“I got yer corn dog raht here.”
“Howdy folks. Y’all here that car alarm goin off? Probably hard to tell down there where you are, it’s comin from over that’away.”
Hey baby, how YOU doin?
Texas Moron Meetup Update September 23, 2010
Posted by Michael in Food, Man Laws.comments closed
If you are coming to the Texas Moron Meetup on October 2nd, it may interest you to know that you will be in the immediate vicinity of the best state fair in America. You might want to extend your stay to attend this event.
The reason we pride ourself on this fair is fried foods. They have become the rage at our state fair. I’m not making this up. It says so right here on the sign:
See, I was not making that up.
Toldja so.
Now, to be honest, I have not yet personally been to the Texas State Fair, but press reports confirm the cornucopia of fried foods available.
If it can be fried, it’s been tried at the State Fair of Texas.
Twinkies. Oreos. Candy bars. Cookie dough. Butter. Meatballs. Lettuce. Green beans. Peaches. Pralines. Pecan pie. Jelly beans. Macaroni and cheese. Bacon. Coke. Latte. Beer. Margarita.
We’ve come a long way from when popcorn and cotton candy were the fair food headliners.
Did they say deep-fried bacon?
Yes, they did indeed say deep-fried bacon.
Here is a tip for those of you visiting from other states — you are a pussy if you go the the fair and don’t eat this stuff.
Pity the hamburger. You poor peanuts. Hot dog, you’re not so hot. We’re just not into you anymore – at least not at the fair.
Food has been a featured attraction ever since the State Fair opened in 1886.
People need to eat, after all.
But, through the years, fair fare has evolved.
Since 2005, there’s been a fried food explosion, thanks to a contest that honors the top new foods.
These days, food is a main reason why many people head to the fair, which opens Friday at Fair Park.
I’m still wondering what could be more decadent than deep-fried bacon. There must be something.
Yes, there is -- fried butter
The fair’s food frenzy is reflective of a food-oriented culture that has a greater appreciation of food, said Christi Erpillo, a veteran fair concessionaire. Think about the scores of food programs on TV.
“Food itself has taken on a whole new role,” she said. “Fair food has become more interesting, more intriguing. It’s a finer food.”
Think of it as the South Beach diet on steroids.
Welcome to Texas!!!
Gymkhana THREE, Part 2; Ultimate Playground; l’Autodrome, France September 22, 2010
Posted by Michael in Art.comments closed
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Some Gentlemanly Advice To The Ladies September 21, 2010
Posted by Edward von Bear in Ballistics, Crime, Ducks.comments closed
Never mess with what Mother Gaia gave you, especially at cut rate deals.
HAVING taken out a three-year loan to pay for a boob job, Lindsey Easeman was thrilled with her new DD chest.
The 27-year-old beautician was desperate to boost her size 36B chest and the results were everything she had dreamed of.
But for Lindsey the happiness was shortlived – four years later the implants ruptured, leaving her in severe pain.
Lindsey was one of thousands of British women lured by the promise of bargain boob jobs using implants made by French company PIP.
Up to 50,000 British women have had the implants, paying about £3,500 – around half the price of a top boob job. At least 70 of those women are now enduring the same agony as Lindsey due to ruptures.
Oh, and don’t wait for the government to help you out.
Lindsey had to have her implants removed as soon as possible. Due to waiting lists the NHS could only offer an operation to take them out followed by, at a later unknown date, breast reconstruction surgery.
Lindsey says: “I kept thinking, ‘I’m a young girl. The NHS will remove them but not replace them at the same time, so I would be left with droopy, stretched skin until I could get new ones’.
“I couldn’t face that. I was so depressed, I was getting sick and run-down. The doctor even offered me anti-depressants but I didn’t want to take tablets.
“In the end I had no choice but to pay for them to be replaced myself.”
Lindsey had to return to work full-time and take out a loan so she could have the £3,500 operation to remove and replace the implants.
And last week Lindsey went under the knife to have the procedure.
Along with dozens of other victims, she is now fighting for compensation, but their battle is far from straightforward.
They claim they have been left high and dry by the UK Government’s implants licensing authority.
That body, the Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency (MHRA), ordered a recall in March this year of stocks of the implants after manufacturers Poly Implant Prosthese (PIP) were closed down by the French authorities.
The company was accused of fraudulently using a non-approved silicone gel for almost ten years and has now gone out of business.
But the licensing of the PIP implants were dealt with on a European level, which allowed PIPs into the UK without the MHRA undertaking its own checks or ensuring manufacturers and distributors had liability insurance to cover their products.
Wait! The Nanny State will regulate what kind of slide a playground can have, yet cut rate bazoomba boosters can slide through?
Sigh.
Congrats To S. Weasel September 20, 2010
Posted by Michael in Gardening.comments closed
She recently logged her 500,000th visitor, and she’s all mushy about it.
A favor? I know the blogosphere is a restless place, but when you guys wander off, would you occasionally check back in? There are a few names I haven’t seen in a while, and I worry.
If you are a Weasel fan like me, stop by and share some love.
I have no fork, and I must scream. September 19, 2010
Posted by skinbad in Crime, Family, Food, Handblogging, History, Honor, Law, Personal Experiences, Religion.comments closed
Nooo!
Nooooo!!
Noooooyearghhhbllaaa!!!!
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
What did I see this morning while the waffle iron was heating and I was gathering the necessary implements?
What the fork???
Yes, the Sacred Waffle Fork that has been with me nigh on twenty years (and has served waffles in Ohio and Idaho) has been compromised. No child will admit culpability and the missing piece has not been found. Yes, waffles were made and waffles were consumed, but if my kids would have taken a good look at my face, they would have noticed my smile looked out of place. You know the rest.
It does look kind of hazy, doesn’t it? There’s a big brush fire south of us.
Innocent Bystanders 
Freedom Is Such A Quaint Term, Isn’t It? September 27, 2010
Posted by Edward von Bear in Commenting Tips, Heroes, History, Honor, Politics, Pop Culture, Sidebar Flag Bullshit.comments closed
Just ask this lady.