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Hairballs Come, Hairballs Go November 7, 2010

Posted by Lipstick in Handblogging, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting.

And sometimes they have to cut into you to get stuff out.

This is what the vet took out of Boris on Wednesday.  That pointy bit at 6:00 was about to pass into his intestine, where the real trouble would have begun.

It’s still in the plastic bag because we’ve been warned of stench issues.

You’re welcome.


1. BrewFan - November 7, 2010

Holy crap! That’s enough hair to make a hair piece for Rosetta!

2. kevl - November 7, 2010

Look at the Precious!

3. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

That thing is hard as a rock, too.

4. TXMarko - November 7, 2010

Wow. I initially thought that it would have made an excellent fake mustache until you mentioned the stench issue.

5. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

hahahaha! It sort of looks like a baby seal.

6. Michael - November 7, 2010

I’m thinking you could unstench and soften it with some hydrogen peroxide, and it might still make a really good fake mustache. You could use it on Halloween as part of your Simon Legree or Groucho Marx costume.

7. Dave in Texas - November 7, 2010

I’m gonna puke

8. Sobek - November 7, 2010

I thought Boris had swallowed a petrified mouse.

Has anyone here read Les Miserables? I’m almost done with it.

9. Russ from Winterset - November 7, 2010

I read it back in high school. Does that count?

10. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

I saw the musical, heh.

11. Dave in Texas - November 7, 2010

A guy steals a loaf of bread, and he never hears the end of it.


12. Cathy - November 7, 2010

Les Miserables…

Think I read it in high school, but that was the sixties… didn’t remember much from the sixties.

Saw movie with Liam Neeson, Geoffrey Rush, and Uma Thurman and really liked it.

13. Cathy - November 7, 2010

Lipstick, gee thanks for sharing the hairball with us curious folk.


*what’s that smell?*

14. Tha Lovely Janis - November 7, 2010

Hope Boris feeling better!! Had a college room-mate that had a Himalayan kitty that coughed up hairballs like that . . . under my bed — she did not like me . . . they were gross.

15. Tha Lovely Janis - November 7, 2010

Saw the same movie version of Les Mis as Cathy — I thought it was a good flick!!

16. Sobek - November 7, 2010

I saw Les Mis at the library and I decided to take a quick break from reading about the Middle East. Sure, the thing is 1194 pages, plus 130 pages of end notes, but I’m a quick reader, so no problem, right?

I’ve been working on it for probably two months now. I love the story. Any time I’m reading about Jean Valjean or Marius or Javert, it’s great and it goes quick.

But Victor Hugo has this habit of interrupting the story to talk about other stuff. Right after Valjean got busted the second time, after he admits he’s 24601, Hugo writes 45 pages about the battle of Waterloo. Nothing whatsoever to do with the plot. Same with when he spends a couple chapters musing about convents, or giving a biography of Louis-Philippe. That’s when the book gets really, really slow.

It didn’t bother me much at first. I like history. He’s setting the historical stage for the novel. No problem. But the further you go, the more you want to tell him to knock it off. At the end, when he launches into a lengthy and intricately detailed description of the sewers of Paris, my patience is just about gone.

I am seriously ready to be done with this book.

17. Sobek - November 7, 2010

Cathy and Janis, I saw the movie but it was a while back. Maybe I’ll watch it again when I’m done with the book.

I love the musical. It’s basically the reason I wanted to read the book. But the musical wisely leaves out the twenty-page discourse on the literary merits of slang.

18. Michael - November 7, 2010

You can buy a ferret online for about $50. I checked.

That means the hairball surgery for Boris was worth 200 brand new equally cute ferrets.

I’ll bet money right now that Lipstick’s vet drives a BMW.

19. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

Lipstick, gee thanks for sharing the hairball with us curious folk.


*what’s that smell?*

I’ve been fighting a strange curiosity to open that bag. What is wrong with me?!

20. Retired Geezer - November 7, 2010

Les Mis is my Favorite musical. I get emotional during the Overture.

Bite me.

21. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

That means the hairball surgery for Boris was worth 200 brand new equally cute ferrets.

Now how can I leave my boy to die in pain? And what on earth would I do with 200 ferrets?

I’ll bet money right now that Lipstick’s vet drives a BMW.

I hope she does — she deserves it. She has all kinds of specialty training and also took him home with her every night to monitor him. You should see how straight and good his incision looks.

*gets idea for another blog post*

22. wamk - November 7, 2010

We’ll it on eBay to offset the expense of surgery. The hairball, not the host animal.

23. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

RG, I love Les Miz too and have seen it at least twice.

I also really liked The Mikado. Phantom? bleh.

24. wamk - November 7, 2010

“Sell”. Stoopid iPad spell-fixer.

25. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

HAHAHA! Sell the hairball on Ebay — that’s brilliant!

26. Russ from Winterset - November 7, 2010

“You can buy a ferret online for about $50. I checked.

That means the hairball surgery for Boris was worth 200 brand new equally cute ferrets.”

**looks at the numbers**

**looks at Michael**

**looks at the numbers again**

**looks back at Michael**

I certainly hope that your day job at MegaBigTeleComCorp does NOT include any math responsibilities. Just saying.

27. Lipstick - November 7, 2010

I can’t see handling 20 ferrets either, Russ. 🙂

28. Michael - November 8, 2010

I certainly hope that your day job at MegaBigTeleComCorp does NOT include any math responsibilities. Just saying.

My department does not do math. We have people who know arithmetic and Excel to run the numbers, and project managers who are Six Sigma Black Belts and nag the people to make sure they turn the numbers in on time.

29. John Steinbeck - November 8, 2010

But Victor Hugo has this habit of interrupting the story to talk about other stuff.

Man, that’s annoying.

By the way, let me tell you all about this turtle crossing the road…

30. OBF - November 8, 2010

Seriously, this happened and clearly falls in the gross category. A cowboy couple out here in the wide open spaces of Utah decide to go to Las Vegas to watch the bull riding championships. One problem is that they don’t have much money. They contact a mutual friend who has a kind heart. He puts up the cash. The couple repays him by giving him two cows. The cows have been on the mountain for the summer. A group of would be cowboys bring down the heard, totaling 30+ critters.
Now, the way this is done is that you check all the girl cows to see if they are pregnant. You keep the ones that are and take the ones that aren’t to auction (Big Mac coming up). The vet doesn’t show up for the pregnancy test. The female half of the cowboy couple decides that she can figure this out by reading up on it on the internet.
The sweet young thing comes to the corral ready to test. She puts on this really long glove (up to the armpit), lubes it up, inserts and starts to check. After a few minutes she says, “I can’t tell if she is pregnant or not.” At this point her husband, the other half of this cattle baron duo, walks around to see what’s up (or in). “Dear” he says using his kindest cattle baron voice, “You have your arm in the wrong hole.”

Boris is lucky to not be part of this ranching family. Hope the cute little guy recovers and has a very long and happy life.

31. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

Thank you OBF!

There’s an episode of “Dirty Jobs” where Mike Rowe is doing the pregnancy test on cows.

32. skinbad - November 8, 2010

It’s always fleas fleas fleas
Siempre pulgas pulgas pulgas

You’re happy when you make me sneeze
Eres feliz cuando me hacen estornudar

This fur is fine and brownish-black
Esta piel es fina y de color marrón-negro

A lint roller will take it off your back
Un rodillo de la pelusa se lo quite de la espalda

The vet must check you down below
El veterinario tiene que ver más abajo

Hairballs come and hairballs go
Bolas de pelo van y vienen bolas de pelo

33. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

Where did you get that, Skinbad?

34. skinbad - November 8, 2010

1 lb. Clash (smoked)
2 T Google translator
pinch of lyrics search
1 C (heaping) stupidity
(no custard was used)

35. skinbad - November 8, 2010

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until boss walks by.

36. lauraw - November 8, 2010

HA ha ha haaa awesome Skinny.

37. skinbad - November 8, 2010

Hey LW. There’s an add to send Olbermann a congratulations card at Ace’s. I wish you could see what others write like with the Peace Blimp. That would be better, but it might be worth a moron-swarm.


38. lauraw - November 8, 2010


Did you write to him?

39. skinbad - November 8, 2010

Sure I did. Not very creative. Something about my RDA of pompous douchebaggery being dangerously low without him. The Hostages are quite good at this sort of thing. Do you call them by shining a spotlight with a silhouette of an udder into the sky?

40. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

Those lyrics are sheer brilliance, Skinbad!

41. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

You put some work into that.

42. lauraw - November 8, 2010

Yes, skinbad. The TeatSignal.

43. Dave in Texas - November 8, 2010

Lennon would weep.

44. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

I never cared for the Beatles. Can’t stand their music, as a matter of fact.

Way way way over-rated.

45. daveintexas - November 8, 2010

You gonna wrestle, or you gonna just keep yammering?

46. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

I’ll just yammer. I hear men like that.

47. daveintexas - November 8, 2010

What? I wasn’t listening, sorry.

48. Retired Geezer - November 8, 2010

Lame Duck Alert: Mischief Afoot:


49. nicedeb - November 8, 2010

YUCK. I did not need to see that!

50. Lipstick - November 8, 2010

Sorry Deb.

Did you ever get a ferret?

51. nicedeb - November 9, 2010

We had a ferret for awhile. Unfortunately it got sick and died after about a year.

52. Cathy - November 10, 2010

Every time I see that pic of the hairball in the ziplock bag, I’m sure I can smell it all the way to Texas.

So Lipstick, what have you done with the hairball?

Inquiring goofballs wanna know this chit.

53. Lipstick - November 10, 2010

Well, Cathy, it’s sitting on my desk. I don’t know quite what to do with it. I’m looking at it right now. . .it. . .fascinates me.

54. Cathy - November 11, 2010

Are you fascinated enough to un-zip the ziplock?

55. Tushar from India - November 11, 2010

Speaking of the Middle East, I just finished the novel ‘Kite Runner’. Presents quite a dim view of the miserable life in Afghanistan.

56. Lipstick - November 11, 2010

Cathy, that temptation has passed, thank goodness. The bag ‘o hair will soon be disposed of.

Hi Tushar! Congratulations on the green card! We need more like you here. Live long and prosper.

57. Pandora - November 11, 2010

Take it from me, Lipstick. Don’t. Open. The. Bag.

58. Cathy - November 11, 2010

Hi Tushar!

Congratulations my brother from the other mother.


59. Cathy - November 11, 2010

Lipstick, glad to hear you are gonna get rid of it soon.

Note: Plastic IS porous. The Stink IS eminent.

60. lauraw - November 11, 2010

Lipstick, is there something you can do to help hair pass without forming a hairball?

61. Lipstick - November 11, 2010

Yes, there is a vaseline-like product called Ferret-Lax that you give them once a week. There is also an oily liquid called Ferret-Tone. They are supposed to smooth things along.

They all get regular doses and I hope this wasn’t caused by me slacking off on the treatment.

62. Michael - November 11, 2010

You can also give them a weekly treatment with the 3HP single-piston Ferret-O-Rooter.

63. Retired Geezer - November 11, 2010

I thought you would never get around to mentioning it:


The procedure is (relatively) painless, ask Dave.

Yes I do Ferrets.

Si Habla Espanol

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