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Home Is Where The Waffle Is. February 21, 2011

Posted by Cathy in Travel.
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Good to be back in Texas!

Yum!

Beautiful snow capped Colorado mountains have long left the rear view mirror… replaced by flat unapologetically ugly working-man’s ranch land. But in my mind, I’m home.

High-test caffeine washes down the butter and syrup smothered soft-crunchy carbohydrates. No more dread-locked, unwashed pretentious ignorance and arrogance creeping me out.

I’ll take Texas friendly.

 

Comments»

1. geoff - February 21, 2011

No more dread-locked, unwashed pretentious ignorance and arrogance creeping me out.

Hmmph. I thought my dreads totally rocked.

2. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Welcome home Cathy!

3. lauraw - February 21, 2011
4. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Geoff? is.gd/hUwcog

5. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

The stars at night

are big and bright

*nom nom nom nom

Deep in the heart of Texas

6. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2011

Yay, Cathy’s home!

Michael was wasting away… and getting cranky.

7. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

Michael was wasting away… and getting cranky.

But he did find interesting ways to amuse himself.

8. Cathy - February 21, 2011

Michael was wasting away… and getting cranky.

But he did find interesting ways to amuse himself.

*amusement?*

9. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

well, perhaps bemusement would be more appropriate

10. Michael - February 21, 2011

and getting cranky.

I gave my heart and soul to the campaign to ban Rosetta, and was totally disrespected. You would be cranky too.

11. lauraw - February 21, 2011

BTW Michael, I made and served bulgogi yesterday. It was pretty tasty.

I used this recipe but a different cut of beef, and I left out the garlic and sesame seeds.

http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/korean-grilled-beef

Thanks for the recommendation.

12. geoff - February 21, 2011

BTW Michael, I made and served bulgogi yesterday.

I followed you up until “served” and then that belch threw me off. What was it you made?

13. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

I gave my heart and soul to the campaign to ban Rosetta, and was totally disrespected. You would be cranky too.

Would it make you feel better if you banned him here? I mean, I doubt he would even notice, but still…

And the best part is, you don’t even have to put up a poll to do it here!

14. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

I followed you up until “served” and then that belch threw me off.

That’s pretty close to my reaction when she told us what we were about to eat..

we’re gonna eat…. what?

15. lauraw - February 21, 2011

I let one of the guests talk me into loosening the restraints, but nobody tried to get away. So that’s what I call dinner party success.

16. Michael - February 21, 2011

Bulgogi is sorta the Korean national style of BBQ. You eat it by hand, using lettuce leaves as sort of a wrapper for the meat.

17. lauraw - February 21, 2011

I bought a couple nice heads of bibb to use for that purpose. People ended up trying to build Dagwood sandwiches on a lettuce leaf, then gave up and used flatware.

18. Michael - February 21, 2011

In a bulgogi restaurant, by the way, you just get raw meat (marinaded) and cook it yourself at the table on a brazier. It’s fun.

19. Michael - February 21, 2011

Flatware is cheating, but excusable as an alternative to Korean chopsticks, which are metal and round, and very tricky to use compared to normal Chinese chopsticks.

20. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

People ended up trying to build Dagwood sandwiches on a lettuce leaf,

I said I was sorry!!!

21. lauraw - February 21, 2011

*noogies*

22. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

Honestly, it tasted awesome. Lauraw is a great cook.

23. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX - February 21, 2011

Welcome home, sweet lady! Thank goodness – Michael’s been running loose on the blogs again….

24. wiserbud - February 21, 2011

Can I get untied now?

25. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

In a bulgogi restaurant, by the way, you just get raw meat (marinaded) and cook it yourself at the table on a brazier. It’s fun.

If I want to cook my own food, I’ll stay home and not have to put make-up on.

Hi Cathy!

26. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Can I get untied now?

Are you going to go running straight to the cops again?

27. geoff - February 21, 2011

If I want to cook my own food, I’ll stay home and not have to put make-up on.

If I want to cook my own food, I’ll, ummmmm, I’ll get some food, I guess. And some stuff to cook it in. And, well, I’ll probably need some things to eat it on and with.

Maybe some instruction manuals? Oh, and I’ll need to find that weird room in the house with those heating thingies.

28. Michael - February 21, 2011

. . .I’ll get some food, I guess.

All you need is meat and Nacho Cheese Doritos.

When you go to the grocery store, it is kind of intimidating at first. It’s a huge place with a gazillion items for sale that you don’t want. So just approach an attractive female and ask her, “Excuse me, ma’am, can you direct me towards the meat and Nacho Cheese Doritos?” She almost certainly can steer you in the right direction.

29. Michael - February 21, 2011

Maybe some instruction manuals?

I got you covered. Here’s how you do it.

1. Slap some meat on the grill and burn it.

2. Put burned meat on a plate, arrange Nacho Cheese Doritos around the meat. Open another beer.

3. You are done. You just cooked your own dinner.

30. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Put burned meat on a plate, arrange Nacho Cheese Doritos around the meat.

For appetizer I made fresh pork lumpia (slim, crispy spring rolls flavored with coriander) with spicy peanut sauce, too.

When I was wrapping them that morning, Scott made fun of me for making so many.

We had *two* left over.

31. lauraw - February 21, 2011

OK, that’s enough. I’m just jazzed about the whole thing. We never entertain, really. Just starting a new habit for it.
I like the foodie aspect of it.

Maybe next time, Hungarian food?

32. Michael - February 21, 2011

Hungarian Chicken Paprikash.

Just don’t do Goulash. It’s a cliche.

33. Michael - February 21, 2011

Actually, I bet you can do any Hungarian recipe that involves noodles and the word “Paprikash” and it’s going to be pretty awesome.

34. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Yeah?
Can we add cookbooks to the Book Club?

35. Michael - February 21, 2011

Can’t tell you, Laura. Somebody else is running the book club.

*looks out front door*

*looks at watch*

*kicks laundry pile under the bed*

*gets out calculator and figures driving time again*

36. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Awwww. Maybe she stopped to pick up something nice for you. A candy bar? Maybe some takeout food. Or some Glade Stick-Ups, perhaps.

37. lauraw - February 21, 2011

*Imagines Cathy sailing through the door with a SuperSoaker full of Febreze*

38. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

Laura, as soon as I get some teefs, I wanna try your lumpia.

But isn’t your version humpia?

39. Mitchell - February 21, 2011

I love Hungarian Goulash.
Well I can’t goof off anymore. I have to go grocery shopping.

40. lauraw - February 21, 2011

I’ve never had goulash or any other Hungarian food, so it wouldn’t be cliche for me.

41. Michael - February 21, 2011

I already got a bottle of Febreze, which I sprayed on the laundry pile and under my arms.

I did the dishes too. Did I mention that already?

42. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

I could do with a waffle, BTW.

43. Michael - February 21, 2011

I guess it will be a bad sign if the dogs refuse to come inside. That is what has me worried.

44. lauraw - February 21, 2011

xbrad, hope all is going well with your post-op situation. I imagine you must be losing weight. Do you own a meat grinder? That might be helpful for a while, to help stay hearty.

45. lauraw - February 21, 2011

What if the dogs run straight to where you’ve hidden the dead hooker? I’d think that would be more embarrassing.

46. Michael - February 21, 2011

Brad, I think we have two Belgian waffle irons here. Somewhere. We used them during the last Texas Moron Meet-Up. Plus, we have some genyooine Vermont maple syrup that we bought in Vermont after the last meeting of the New England Moron Clique™. So, you just have to show up.

47. Michael - February 21, 2011

What if the dogs run straight to where you’ve hidden the dead hooker?

She’s submerged in the deep end of the pool. Not a problem.

48. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

Well, my icecream and pudding diet (which has lately been supplemented with lots of Top Ramen and macaroni salad) hasn’t lost me any weight.

I haven’t GAINED any, but I haven’t lost any.

49. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Oh gosh, put some soft little meatballs in that ramen and boil them up. You need meat.

50. lauraw - February 21, 2011

She’s submerged in the deep end of the pool. Not a problem.

Oh. Well. That’s. Nice.

51. Michael - February 21, 2011

Jeebers, Brad, that sounds horrible. Here’s my idea for a good recipe for you:

1. Grill some brats.

2. Beat them with a small sledge hammer.

3. Squirt the brat mush with brown mustard. Open a beer. Using a spatula, collect the brat mush from around the room and put the mush in hot dog buns.

4. You are done. You have a good dinner.

52. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

Good idea, laura.

If Scott should coincidentally happen to die soon in a horrific speargun accident, wanna get married?

To me, I mean.

53. Michael - February 21, 2011

Oh. Well. That’s. Nice.

Not so much. The chlorinater is working overtime.

54. scottw - February 21, 2011

This steak is awesome.

55. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

Can’t really eat a hot dog bun, Michael.

Bread is really problematic. Meat, I just chop it up, then swallow little bits.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been very careful not to eat alone, in case i do choke.

56. Michael - February 21, 2011

OK, Brad, I’m trying to work with you.

Instead of the hot dog buns, which are admittedly airy and hard to chew and swallow, get some corn tortillas from your local Mexican grocery. They will melt in your mouth. Get some Pace Salsa while you are there.

Then, after grilling the brats,

1. Beat the brats with the sledge hammer

2. Wrap the brat goo with a tortilla, after collecting the goo off the walls with a spatula.

3. Top with salsa, and maybe some hot pepper jack cheese

4. Open a beer. You are done and you have a good dinner.

I’m just trying to help.

57. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

Michael, I’m not trying to be difficult here, but I’m just not seeing why we need to ruin a perfectly good brat with a bread type product.

58. Michael - February 21, 2011

A bread product gives you an excuse to use beer to assist with swallowing.

59. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

I don’t need an excuse.

60. Michael - February 21, 2011

I don’t need an excuse.

OK. Just don’t embarrass yourself by buying anything other than Pace Salsa from Texas when you prepare this meal.

61. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

**looks at jar**

This stuff’s made in New York City!

62. lauraw - February 21, 2011

New York City??!

63. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

HAHAHAHAHA! I was just thinking of that commercial too!

64. xbradtc - February 21, 2011

Low hanging fruit is the sweetest.

65. lauraw - February 21, 2011

First thing Cathy does when she gets home?

http://is.gd/cWODt4

66. lauraw - February 21, 2011
67. lauraw - February 21, 2011
68. Pupster - February 21, 2011
69. Pupster - February 21, 2011

She was thirsty.

70. Michael - February 21, 2011

This stuff’s made in New York City!

I just pitch the highballs.

Somebody else has to hit them.

71. daveintexas - February 21, 2011

I just need some chicken soup.

That’s all I need.

72. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Are you still sick??

*whips up a Chicken Soup Pie*

73. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

Poor Dave. But there’s pie on the way!

74. daveintexas - February 21, 2011

I shall liiiiiive,

for pieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Yeah, I started comin down with a cold Saturday night, had fever until tonight.. did the sweats and the chills thing all day yesterday and this morning. Aches.. everything hurts. Ev-ry-thing.

75. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

Oh yuck. Do you have Nyquil? And the good Sudafed that you have to show your license in order to get?

76. harrison - February 21, 2011

A double dose of the Nyquil and smoke the Sudafed and you’ll be a new man.

77. lauraw - February 21, 2011

Nyquil is of the debbil. I’m allergic or something.

Nothing but vivid evil nightmares and the stumbling skeevies.

78. Michael - February 21, 2011

Why does everyone feel sorry for Dave?

Huh?

He has a cold. Big fuckin’ deal. You gotta be a pussy to even notice a cold.

Meanwhile, Cathy has been out of town for two weeks, there is huge pile of laundry here, and this house smells like ass.

Does anybody feel sorry for me? Yes, you should.

79. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

This is a character building exercise, Michael. Go with it.

Plus you had the Spirit Grille to fall back on.

80. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

mmmm, Spirit Grille, absolutely the best bacon cheeseburger of my life.

*whimper*

I WILL RETURN!

81. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

Well crap … screwed that one up, I think it should be: I SHALL RETURN!

82. Cathy - February 21, 2011

Got home a bit after 7:00 p.m.. Unpacking the car took awhile. Car still has road crap on it from being in Colorado snow and slush.

Peaches and Rosie are glad to be home. Made two gin martinis with a twist to decompress. Hitting the sack soon. Missed blogging and all you morons.

Good trip. I’m a good daughter no matter what anyone says.

Laundry will wait until tomorrow. The house looks clean and smells clean.

*pictures crack whores vacuuming with the Dyson*

*suspicious*

83. Lipstick - February 21, 2011

Yay, Cathy’s home!

84. lauraw - February 22, 2011

Everybody act natural.

85. Crack Whores - February 22, 2011

*pictures crack whores vacuuming with the Dyson*

What? We missed a spot?

86. Mitchell - February 22, 2011

Poor little bunny! Dave’s got a Man Cold.

87. sohos - February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Michael!!!!!!

88. lauraw - February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Michael!

89. Chuck - February 22, 2011
90. Michael - February 22, 2011

Thanks!

91. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Michael! How many spanks do you need?

92. Cathy - February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Michael! How many spanks do you need?

Just. Guess. Lipstick!

93. Cathy - February 22, 2011

Lips, your hand will hurt before you are finished, just sayin’

94. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

HAHAHA, I have a riding crop!

95. Cathy - February 22, 2011

HAHAHA, I have a riding crop!

Sumbunny is gonna hurt!

96. harrison - February 22, 2011

It’s my birthday, too!!

97. harrison - February 22, 2011

(in July)

98. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

Happy Early Birthday, Harrison.

*whap

99. daveintexas - February 22, 2011

Hello Newman.

100. Michael - February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Michael! How many spanks do you need?

Lips, just keep spankin’ until your arm gets sore. You’ll be pretty close to the correct number.

101. geoff - February 22, 2011

…just keep spankin’ until your arm gets sore.

Words to live by.

Happy Birthday, Michael.

102. Crack Hos - February 22, 2011

Our arms are still tired.

103. doc - February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday, Batman!

I’m guessing the riding crop isn’t for the ferrets, and I don’t recall hearing anything aboot horsies, so the crop is for…. – still a family blog, isn’t it?

104. harrison - February 22, 2011

Happy Early Birthday, Harrison.

*whap

THANK YOU, MA’AM, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!

105. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

WHAP!

You’re welcome, maggot.

106. harrison - February 22, 2011

*sigh*

Isn’t she dreamy?

107. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

Damn right I am. Now drop and give me twenty!

108. Retired Geezer - February 22, 2011

*searches for twenty dollar bill.

Uh, can I be next?

109. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

Geezer! Gimme some four count burpies right now!

(channeling my elementary school gym teacher)

110. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

Not fast enough. *WHAP!

111. harrison - February 22, 2011

HEY! Leave that old man alone!

112. harrison - February 22, 2011

Unless, of course, he’s paid his twenty…

113. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

What I’m listening to now:

114. Retired Geezer - February 22, 2011

Toby Keith – Patriotic American that goes the extra mile for the troops.

Unlike the Ditzy Clucks.

115. Lipstick - February 22, 2011

He used to have such a mullet.

116. skinbad - February 23, 2011

A co-worker’s little kids called them “The Chicksie Dicks.”


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