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Wisconsin Isn’t the Only State Dealing With Burning Political Issues February 24, 2011

Posted by skinbad in Politics, Stupid shit.
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Utah State Senate 23 February 2011

Beginning of Transcript:

SENATOR LOVEROCKET–“I rise and proudly stand today in defense of The Chubby. Sure, the so-called “main stream media” has described The Chubby as “cute” and “mini,” but I ask you my friends: does this lessen the importance of The Chubby in our beautiful state? Is the size of The Chubby really something upon which me must fix our interests? If The Chubby is used appropriately it can be an instrument of social interaction which is sorely needed in these troubled times. People from all walks of life can join together and find common ground while enjoying the contents of The Chubby. I urge you, my fellow senators, to vote “NO” on Senate Bill 314. Stand up and be counted. Protect The Chubby!

I yield the remainder of my time to the gentleman from Kanosh.

END

Comments»

1. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Using the Tag “Michael had a Dream” was Comedy Gold.

2. MJ - February 24, 2011

First, they came for your Chubby, and I didn’t speak out, because I didn’t have a Chubby.

Next they came for your…

3. Mark in NJ - February 24, 2011

If history has taught us anything, it’s that prohibition doesn’t work…if people can’t get their hands on The Chubby legitimately, they’ll get it on the DL

4. BrewFan - February 24, 2011

They can have my Chubby when they pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

5. lauraw - February 24, 2011

Oh God. Lookit dis.
You’re just a jeering pack of filthy crotch-grabbing animals.

Have you been told lately how I adore you?

6. skinbad - February 24, 2011

In matters of style, swim with the current;
In matters of principle, hold fast to your chubby.

Stuff Jefferson Said

7. lauraw - February 24, 2011

I don’t know, guys. When I’m at a nice little social gathering and some dude walks in the door with a Chubby, I get concerned that things might be getting a little too wild later. ymmv

8. Michael - February 24, 2011

Ask not what your Chubby can do for you. Ask, rather, what you can do for your Chubby.

Stuff Kennedy said.

9. agiledog - February 24, 2011

What’s the difference between a fox and a dog? A Chubby.

10. Chubby Checker - February 24, 2011

Hey, don’t be h8en on Chubbys, hate on that punkass bitch, Khan-yay West.

Let’s Twist again y’all.

11. BrewFan - February 24, 2011

If Chubbys are outlawed, only outlaws will have Chubbys!

12. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

I’ve never seen a problem having a Chubby made worse.

13. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

We have nothing to fear by the Chubby itself

14. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

I wouldn’t trade this chubby for whatever’s behind door number 1, 2 or 3.

15. lauraw - February 24, 2011

When Dick Cheney was in college, one time he threw his Chubby on a bonfire at a party. It subsequently exploded and killed everyone in a 50-ft. radius.

He didn’t learn his lesson though.

16. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

A Chubby for me, but not for thee

17. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

A loaf of bread, a chubby, and thou.

18. kevl - February 24, 2011

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Chubby.

19. geoff - February 24, 2011

Partying women often try to drain every Chubby they can find.

20. Mark in NJ - February 24, 2011

Hey, chicks will choose a Chubby over a six-pack every time.

21. lauraw - February 24, 2011

A little Chubby is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

-Stuff Oscar Wilde Said, Vol. IX

22. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

Outside of a dog, a chubby is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to see.

23. lauraw - February 24, 2011

Without Chubbies no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

-Stuff Aristotle Would Have Said If He Really Knew How To Party, Orig. Ed.

24. lauraw - February 24, 2011

A Chubby is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

-Stone Cold Jane Austen

25. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Without Chubbies, life would be a mistake.
— Fred Nietzsche

26. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

My creed had been formed on unsheathing the Chubby at Lexington.

— Thomas F’n Jefferson

27. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of Chubbies that makes unhappy marriages.
— Fred Nietzsche

28. skinbad - February 24, 2011

If you like your Chubby, you’ll be able to keep your Chubby.

–President Barack Obama

29. BrewFan - February 24, 2011

When the first shot is fired, the Chubby goes out the window – Dwight David Eisenhower

30. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

Me and my chubby wanna be on you.

— Ron Burgundy, a gentleman

31. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss Chubbies.
— Eleanor Roosevelt, who personally hates the Chubby

32. geoff - February 24, 2011

I don’t want my daughters punished with a Chubby.

-President Barack Obama

33. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if he had a chubby.

— the guy who makes up tongue-twisters

34. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

The truth is that all men having chubbies ought to be mistrusted.

— James “the Hammer” Madison

35. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Good friends, good books and a Chubby: this is the ideal life.
— Mark Twain

36. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Chubbies are Outlawed
Next will be Morning Woodys
As far as you know

-The Chubby Haiku guy

37. lauraw - February 24, 2011

“And it’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or Chubbies…as a way to ease their frustrations.”

-Cap’n Wonnerful

38. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

You go to bed with the Chubby you have, not the Chubby you wish you had.

– The Rumster

39. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

We’re gonna need a bigger Chubby
– Sheriff Brody

40. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

If you have a chubby lasting four hours or longer, seek medical attention immediately.

Use your “inside voice”.

41. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

And, you know, the thing about a Chubby… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.

– Captain Quint

42. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE CHUBBY!!

– Col. Jessup

43. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

I’m absolutely convinced that the threat we face now, the idea of a terrorist in the middle of one of our cities with a chubby, is very real and that we have to use extraordinary measures to deal with it.

— “Big” Dick Cheney

44. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Logic will get you from A to Z; a Chubby will get you everywhere.

— Albert Einstein

45. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Vasquez: Okay. We have several canisters of CM-20. I say we go back in there and nerve gas the Chubby.
Hicks: It’s worth the try, but we don’t know if that’s gonna effect them.
Hudson: Let’s just bug out and call it even, why are we talking about this for?
Ripley: I say we take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

46. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Luke… I am your Chubby.

OK, that was just wrong.

47. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we have Chubbies.

Jake: Hit it.

48. Marie Antoinette - February 24, 2011

Let them eat Chubbies.

(literally) “Qu’ils mangent de la chubby”,

49. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with Chubbies.

— Mother Teresa

50. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Looking at Michael’s banana trees, gives me a chubby.

– Stuff Dave in Texas said

51. Mark in NJ - February 24, 2011

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic Chubby.

52. lauraw - February 24, 2011

You can find pics of this cute little keg online, but before you do a GIS for ‘chubby’ I would suggest activating your safesearch filter.

53. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

She walks in beauty, like the night, oer cloudless climes and starry skies, and all that’s best of dark and bright, gave me a mongo chubster.

54. lauraw - February 24, 2011

…are we abandoning the whole double-entendre thing and just going straight to dick jokes?

Because that’s fine, I just would like to have been in on the newsletter.

55. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Here’s an alternative to the Go og -search:

http://startingpage.com

Searching without giving away your info.

56. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Startingpage offers you Web search results from Google – the world’s most popular search engine – in complete privacy!

When you search with Startingpage, we submit your search query to Google and return the search results to you in total privacy. Because Startingpage does the searching for you, you never make direct contact with Google. That means Google can’t record your IP address, log your visit, or put tracking cookies on your browser. And we won’t either.

57. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder Chubby.

— Plato

58. lauraw - February 24, 2011

Thanks for the new home page, Geezer!

59. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Happiness is a warm Chubby.

— Charles “The Chuckster” Schulz

60. daveintexas - February 24, 2011

If you’re not ready to die for it, put the word “chubby” outta your vocabulary.

— Malcolm X yeah I said “X” baby.

61. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Chubbies are to be enjoyed, not endured.

— Gordon B. Hinckley

62. BrewFan - February 24, 2011

King Richard:
A chubby!, a chubby! My kingdom for a chubby!

Catesby:
Withdraw, my lord; I’ll help you to a chubby.

– Richard The Third Act 5, scene 4

63. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2011

Thanks for the new home page, Geezer!

You’re welcome.

Just to repeat it again.

http://startingpage.com

Searching without Cookies, Logging, or disclosing your IP address.

Heck you can’t even visit IB without Michael knowing what you ate for breakfast.

64. Michael - February 24, 2011

I love the smell of a chubby in the morning.

You know, one time we napalmed a hill for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that sweaty jockstrap smell, the whole hill, smelled like . . .

[sniffing, pondering]

. . . chubby.

Someday this war’s gonna end.

— Stuff Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore Said

65. skinbad - February 24, 2011

Gordon B. Hinckley???
From Wiser???

Worlds collide.

66. kevlarchick - February 24, 2011

Out, out, damned chubby!

-Lady Macbeth

67. kevlarchick - February 24, 2011

And the word “dick”, as a general term of endearment, insult, active verb, interjection, or descriptive adjective, just cannot be matched in the whole of the English rubicon.

DICK rules.

68. MCPO Airdale - February 24, 2011

This thread is s-o-o-o-o close to funny. . .

69. Tushar - February 24, 2011

If you lie down with a chubby, you will wake up with a woody.

70. wiserbud - February 24, 2011

Gordon B. Hinckley???
From Wiser???

Worlds collide.

heh heh heh. I knew someone would appreciate that.

71. Dave in Texas - February 25, 2011

Live by the chubby, die by the chubby.

72. Jane "Sobek" Austen - February 25, 2011

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune , must be in want of a Chubby.

73. wiserbud - February 25, 2011

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is finding a cold Chubby.

— George “Big Bern” Shaw

74. Retired Geezer - February 25, 2011

You must feel the Chubby, Luke.

–Yoda

75. Pupster - February 26, 2011

A Chubby saved is a Chubby earned.

Benjamin “Pup” Franklin


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