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The Executive Portrait February 17, 2011

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Entertainment, Handblogging, History, Man Laws, Nature Shit, News, Personal Experiences, Pop Culture, Sex, WTF?.
17 comments

Our marketing person called me last week and said “I need a photograph of you and an updated bio for the website.”  I groaned.  “Can’t we just use the picture from my badge?”  He said no, it had to be the standard professionally done executive headshot. 

Most of you know I was recently promoted, and that unfortunately means being included in company info and the leadership page on our website (no linky besides it isn’t posted yet).  Sigh.  I haven’t had a portrait of just me made since I was a senior in high school, and that one sucked too.  Anyway he made me an appointment to go see a chick who took a bunch of pics of me.  I didn’t like any of em but we finally settled on this one.

I got a lot of problems with it.

(more…)

Rodent Update February 16, 2011

Posted by Retired Geezer in Gardening, Man Laws.
6 comments

Here’s an Update to my Death to All Rodents* post. Click the link to see the ‘before‘ picture of the wounded knee tree.

With the utilization of a Come-Along and a couple of Logging Chains, I was able to get the pine tree back in the (preferred) upright position. I treated it with MoleMax and the free gallon of Thrive, that I won on the Zamzow’s radio show. I hope it survives. It blew over on February 2nd, it was laying there for about 2 weeks until I got the gumption to try to save it. I have my doubts.

We had a sudden snowfall last night, here’s how it looked this morning.

Just trying to KTSA (Keep the String Alive).

Best in Show February 15, 2011

Posted by kevlarchick in Heroes, Nature Shit.
30 comments

Here’s the winner from the Westminster Dog Show last night –  the Scottish Deerhound.   Noble creature.  Hunter, guardian, and menacing presence when necessary.   Kinda like the IB fellers.

I like a big dog.  Big bark.  Gentle giant.

Best in Show "Hickory." Good boy.

Here are Scottish Deerhounds looking for Scottish deer, which are probably about the size of Ohio deer, not inferior Texas deer.

Chillin in Scotland. Listening for the call of teh bagpipes

My Church Newsletter — We Need Tuna and Mustard February 14, 2011

Posted by Michael in News.
4 comments

Lutherans are not like other people.

Grammy Red Carpet Arrivals February 13, 2011

Posted by Michael in Art.
35 comments

Hoo boy. This is so exciting. How will people look when they arrive for the Grammy’s?

Big news this year — Rihanna arrives wearing a really “daring” outfit. (Somebody does this every year, it’s just not always Cher any more.)

I’m wondering how long it took them to tailor that dress so that some ruffles draped exactly across her snatch.

Also, every year some chick manages to earn the “I made a fool of myself” award.  This year, it was Nicki-Somebody, that I never heard of before.  She’s probably a rap star or something.

Yes, Nicki, that dress does make your ass look big.

Every year, some straight guy tries to win kudos for the “I am the gayest guy on Earth” award, even though he is not really gay.   Here is one of this year’s top contenders.  His name is Ricki-Somebody that I never heard of before.  He looks too gay to be actually gay, in my opinion.  You can’t really believably look this gay unless you are Elton John.

Ricki, you need to get over your mother-issues.  Get some help.

Hey, remember when Cyndi Lauper was kinda cool and sexy and funky?

Not so much any more.

Just sayin’.

And then, some of you are certainly wondering, is Jennifer Lopez still smoking hot?

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Remember the Mickey Mouse Club? February 12, 2011

Posted by Michael in Art.
44 comments

Of course you do.

But I mean the original TV show in the 60’s, not that lame website I linked.  Maybe you remember what a great show that was, especially you guys who are old enough to remember when Annette started sprouting breasts,  which turned out to be spectacular.

Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera are all veterans of the Mickey Mouse Club cast.  After Annette, the Mouse Club apparently turned into a slut factory.

Thanks to YouTube, I recently discovered that the Mickey Mouse Club lives on with a different brand — sadly, there is no pubescent Annette.  But it is the same format.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Congratulations, Egypt February 11, 2011

Posted by Michael in Heroes, News.
20 comments

Vodpod videos no longer available. 

The Record February 10, 2011

Posted by Michael in News.
9 comments

Thanks to Retired Geezer for forwarding this:

Two years ago, Barack Obama was inaugurated as president of the United States .

 

Are you better off today than you were two years ago?

 

Numbers don’t lie, and here are the data on the impact he has had on the lives of Americans:

 

January 2009
TODAY
% chg
Source
Avg. retail price/gallon gas in U.S.
$1.83
$3.104
69.6%
1
Crude oil, European Brent
$43.48
$99.02
127.7%
2
Crude oil, West TX Inter.
$38.74
$91.38
135.9%
2
Gold: London
$853.25
$1,369.50
60.5%
2
Corn, No.2 yellow
$3.56
$6.33
78.1%
2
Soybeans, No. 1 yellow
$9.66
$13.75
42.3%
2
Sugar, cane, raw
$13.37
$35.39
164.7%
2
Unemployment rate, overall
7.6%
9.4%
23.7%
3
Unemployment rate, blacks
12.6%
15.8%
25.4%
3
Number of unemployed
11,616,000
14,485,000
24.7%
3
Number of fed. employees, ex. military
2,779,000
2,840,000
2.2%
3
Real median household income
$50,112
$49,777
-0.7%
4
Food stamp recipients
31,983,716
43,200,878
35.1%
5
Unemployment benefit recipients
7,526,598
9,193,838
22.2%
6
Long-term unemployed
2,600,000
6,400,000
146.2%
3
Poverty rate, (2008 v 2009)
13.2%
14.3%
8.3%
4
People in poverty in U.S. (2008 v 2009)
39,800,000
43,600,000
9.5%
4
U.S. — Economic Freedom World Rankings
5
9
n/a
10
Present Situation Index
29.9
23.5
-21.4%
11
Failed banks
140
164
17.1%
12
Dollar versus Yen exchange rate
89.76
82.03
-8.6%
2
U.S. money supply, M1, in billions (curr = 12/10 prelim)
1,575.1
1,865.7
18.4%
13
U.S. money supply, M2, in billions (curr = 12/10 prelim)
8,310.9
8,852.3
6.5%
13
National debt, in trillions
$10.627
$14.052
32.2%
14
 

Just take this last item:  In the last two years we have accumulated national debt at a rate more than 27 times as fast as during the rest of our entire nation’s history.  Over 27 times as fast!  Metaphorically, speaking, if you are driving in the right lane doing 65 MPH and a car rockets past you in the left lane 27 times faster . . . it would be doing 1,755 MPH!

 

Sources:

 

(1) U.S. Energy Information Administration; (2) Wall Street Journal; (3) Bureau of Labor Statistics; (4) Census Bureau; (5) USDA; (6) U.S. Dept. of Labor; (7) FHFA; (8) Standard & Poor’s/Case-Shiller; (9) RealtyTrac; (10) Heritage Foundation and WSJ; (11) The Conference Board; (12) FDIC; (13) Federal Reserve; (14) U.S. Treasury

Death to All Rodents* February 9, 2011

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Gardening.
59 comments

*Except adorable little Ferrets.

I woke up this morning to find that our 4 year old Pinus Nigra, (Austrian Black Pine), had blown over.

This is the third time I have had a large pine tree blow down, each time it was for the same reason.

THOSE FRIGGIN’ GOPHERS HAD EATEN ALL THE ROOTS!

You can actually see the individual teeth marks on the roots of this tree.

We like trees at Camp Geezer ™. When we moved in ten years ago, there was only a stunted apricot tree on the property. Since then, I’ve planted over 40 trees and most of them are doing fine. Some of the Hybrid Poplars are over 25 feet tall.

I have tried many things to reduce the local population of Pocket Gophers (Thomomys idahoensis). Traps are the most rewarding because you know you got the little sucker but sometimes they don’t trip. I hesitate to use poison because the 3 dogs and ex-Feral cat, Spudder are known Gopher eaters.

This is my latest weapon in the crusade:

It’s called a Mole Mover. Every 30 seconds it sends out a buzzing signal that is supposed to duplicate Howard Dean’s Scream a gopher warning cry. I’ll let you know how effective it is.

How are things in your town?

Fun with Tel* Mark*ters February 8, 2011

Posted by Retired Geezer in Gardening.
42 comments

I get a lot of calls from Tel*mark*ters. It’s annoying to have to stop what I’m doing and answer the cellphone, especially when I’m working on someone’s sprinklers and my hands are muddy. I devised a strategy to combat this. Whenever I receive a call from a TM, I add their phone number to the ‘Tel*mark*ter’ listing in my Contact list. This list has a unique ringtone, kind of a spacey UFO sound. Whenever I hear that sound, I know that I don’t need to stop what I’m doing to answer the phone.

Compacting Camp Geezer

This picture has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. It’s Mrs. Geezer using a Plate Compactor to level the driveway in front of the World Famous Power Lines. OK, back to the story.

I admit that the reason I get so many calls on my cellphone is that I have the calls to my sprinkler business and Mrs. Geezer’s stained glass business automatically forwarded to my cellphone. Fortunately due to the Rules of Alphabetization™, our different phone numbers appear close together in the yellow pages. Typically they call me first then a few minutes later, they call Mrs. Geezer’s business.

Here’s the fun part:

*spacey UFO ring.

Geezer’s normal voice: Hello.

TM: Hello, this is Betty Lou from ** (sales pitch)…

Geezer: Sorry, not interested.

… a few minutes pass

*spacey UFO ring from same number.

Geezer using creepy Vincent Price voice: Hello, this is the Psychic Hotline, I predict that your name is… Betty Lou. How may I help you, Betty Lou?

Betty Lou: Uhhhh…

*hangs up

So, that’s what I do for fun in the Spud State.

How are things in your town?

There Was an Important Sports Story Yesterday February 7, 2011

Posted by skinbad in Family, Sports.
9 comments

I’m happy for Brew and others who are basking in the scent of victory and dairy air. But as I was watching the local news/sports after the game, they ran an interview with a high school wrestler that I think will stick with me longer than Super Bowl ruminations. It’s about six minutes; I think you’ll enjoy it.
 

OK, So The Steelers Lost, Big Frickin’ Deal February 6, 2011

Posted by Michael in Honor.
7 comments

I was born in Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh is MY HOME TOWN!!!

I am in a melancholy mood. How could we possibly lose to sixth-seeded cheeseheads? That’s just not possible in the ordinary course of human events.

Now is the time for the all-time anthem for losers. And some bourbon.