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Springtime, In Texas, Not Germany March 5, 2011

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Blogroll, Ducks, History, Law, Nature Shit, Personal Experiences, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Sitemeter, Sports.
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Had to hack on the frozed up Mexican palm. It  might come back. Might not.

We’ll see.

Comments»

1. Mitchell - March 5, 2011

If you hacked off the heart part then no, it won’t.

2. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

fuck it.

stupid palm

3. MCPO Airdale - March 5, 2011

I imagine those things are not that expensive at Juan’s Nursery.

4. Cathy - March 5, 2011

Sorry Dave.

Bad winter for palms. Have dead ones all over our neighborhood. Think one of our three in the front island may bite the dust too. Not pretty at the price of a replacement.

5. Retired Geezer - March 5, 2011

Yeah, happens in Vegas a lot also.

Those things store their water in the center and then it freezes and Blammo.

6. Retired Geezer - March 5, 2011

*notices it looks like a Crap Palm now…

7. lauraw - March 5, 2011

Yardwork? Hacking? What are you doing??? You have a cracked rib and torn cartilage!

Aren’t there any kids in the neighborhood you can pay to do that stuff?

8. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere - March 5, 2011

What???

Good grief, those are “pay someone else to do it” injuries.

Please tell me you paid someone else to do it.

9. kevlarchick - March 5, 2011

Is that, like, Texas yard art?

10. lauraw - March 5, 2011

You know what it is? He has pain pills. This is how people on pain pills re-injure themselves.

They feel good with the pills, so they indulge in some exertion, and end up ripping something that was trying to heal.

11. lauraw - March 5, 2011

And also, CLUCK!

Cluck cluck cluckety!

12. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

what. I’m good!

*checks ribs

13. harrison - March 5, 2011

What-in-the-hell did you do to yourself, Dave?

14. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

Newman, I got the flu two Saturdays ago and I coughed a lot and busted a rib.

I feel stupid about that.

15. lauraw - March 5, 2011

Buh-CLUCK

16. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

I’m getting better.

17. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere - March 5, 2011

*checks shipping rates to Texas for spicy cheese*

18. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

All seriousness aside, I took a long nap today after hackin down that palm tree and I coughed some and it didn’t hurt so much. Even without a pill since lunchtime. YAY ME!

19. Cathy - March 5, 2011

Dave. How did you crack your rib(s)?

*Sheesh!*

20. Cathy - March 5, 2011

No way did you crack a rib from coughing alone…

Right?

21. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

I kinda did, yep. It’s gettin better now.

22. Cathy - March 5, 2011

I THOUGHT I cracked a rib when I had a bad cold once… but it was pleurisy.

23. Cathy - March 5, 2011

So sorry, Dave.

I’d hug ya, but that would hurt.

24. harrison - March 5, 2011

How’s about you don’t do anything strenuous until that heals.
Or it will never heal.

Nice hen-work there, Lauraw.

25. daveintexas - March 5, 2011

I saw the pic yesterday when the doc said “oh yes you stupid, here”.

No fluid collecting where I don’t want it to.

msg. received Newman & LauraW. I be good.

26. harrison - March 5, 2011

Thankewverymuch.

27. lauraw - March 6, 2011

*trains one tiny yellow eye very seriously on Dave*

Bock.

28. geoff - March 6, 2011

*trains one tiny yellow eye very seriously on Dave*

That’s some impressive eye-stalk control.

29. geoff - March 6, 2011

That’s some impressive eye-stalk control.

…because the hen visualization just doesn’t do it for me. At least not a terrestrial hen.

30. lauraw - March 6, 2011

…extra-terrestrial hen?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXoId8r-IPg

31. Retired Geezer - March 6, 2011

I saw the pic yesterday when the doc said “oh yes you stupid, here”.

*cancels Dave’s entry in the Camp Geezer twist contest.

32. xbradtc - March 6, 2011
33. kevlarchick - March 6, 2011

I think Dave was in a bar fight. He musta got whupped, otherwise he’d be bragging.

Take care, mister.

34. Retired Geezer - March 6, 2011

Just curious as to how effective wrapping the trunk with a tarp or plastic, would be in protecting the palms.

We do that to our tomaters.

35. daveintexas - March 6, 2011

COME ON LET’S TWIST, LIKE WE DID LAST SUMMER…

ow

36. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere - March 6, 2011

Who’d fight Dave?

That would be like kicking a puppy.

37. lauraw - March 6, 2011

Geezer, I bet a simple blanket of clear plastic might have saved them. A hoop-house covered with only one layer of clear plastic film keeps our pond from icing over during even prolonged sub-freezing weather.

We’re taking advantage of the *real* greenhouse effect.

38. Retired Geezer - March 6, 2011

They sell these things around here that are like little pillows, sewn together, filled with water. You stand them up around your plants.
I probably didn’t explain that very well.

But… My Connecktikut water lily has unfurled it’s leaf.
Picture to follow.

39. lauraw - March 6, 2011
40. Retired Geezer - March 6, 2011

Yep, that’s them.
I can see Michael buying 7′ tall ones for his palms and nanner trees.

41. lauraw - March 6, 2011

Though I don’t know how one would take advantage of that principle with something as tall as a palm.

Maybe a tepee of thin poles supporting plastic sheeting, and inside the tent set a few dark colored buckets of water to absorb heat when the sun is shining?
Or if it’s for a short enough period of time, maybe inside the teepee you could run a 60-watt bulb and a small fan out there overnight. I’d add a cloth blanket in that case, since you’re not relying on sunlight.

These are similar to some things I used to do to keep my orange trees alive on my unheated porch during real bad cold snaps.

42. lauraw - March 6, 2011

Pretty sure anything Michael might try to do to save a palm tree in the front yard is proscribed by his HOA.

43. daveintexas - March 6, 2011

This is the one I take a leak on too.

44. The Power Company guy - March 6, 2011

Pretty sure anything Michael might try to do to save a palm tree in the front yard is proscribed by his HOA.

Electric Blanket, duh!

Paint it to look like a giant bottle of Marie Sharpes sauce.
The neighbors will love it.

45. Michael - March 6, 2011

I imagine those things are not that expensive at Juan’s Nursery.

Around here, $1,000 installed for a ten-footer. Probably cheaper the further south you get.

46. Michael - March 6, 2011

Maybe a tepee of thin poles supporting plastic sheeting, and inside the tent set a few dark colored buckets of water to absorb heat when the sun is shining?

Erm, Laura, these frickin’ palms are a set of three right in front of my house, out by the sidewalk.

I wouldn’t mind buying smaller, cheaper ones as a replacement, but the problem is not more than one has died in any year, so you gotta buy one that matches the two mature survivors.

47. Michael - March 6, 2011

Pretty sure anything Michael might try to do to save a palm tree in the front yard is proscribed by his HOA.

Yeah, that’s kinda what I was trying to say. Your solution might be practical and might work just fine, but it would kinda be like a car seat on my front porch.

48. Michael - March 6, 2011

In addition, the palms are sort of a landmark.

Neighbor: Where do you  live?

Me: We’re in that house with three palms in front on Dowling.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, nice place. Mow your damn lawn!

49. lauraw - March 6, 2011

it would kinda be like a car seat on my front porch.

I’m not grasping this. I can see you’ve constructed a simile here, but it doesn’t mean anything to me.

Could you elucidate?

50. Michael - March 6, 2011

Could you elucidate?

Sure. It means people would think I am some kind of Yankee white trash.

They can tell you’re not a real Texan around here just by looking at how you walk or something. You don’t even need to say anything. It’s uncanny. You need to mind your manners, or the HOA will give you the bum’s rush in a minute.

51. Michael - March 6, 2011

I mean, do you think I want people around here to think I’m the kind of guy who would party in the back corner of a parking lot with a Connektihoopian who has an inflatable monkey on his head?

Oh hell no.

52. daveintexas - March 6, 2011

Hell I hacked down a thousand dollar palm tree.

53. lauraw - March 6, 2011

Well, of course not. No sense flaunting and making them all jealous.

Did you ever manage to fence that stuff you stole from that bearings company tradeshow RV?

54. Michael - March 6, 2011

Sadly, no. It looked like pretty cool electronic shit to me, but the fences here can’t figure out what it does.

55. lauraw - March 6, 2011

You tried using Texas fences? Ah. OK.

It was probably just the coffee machine.

56. Mrs. Peel - March 6, 2011

I miss Officer Paul.

57. Michael - March 6, 2011

The fence I spoke to wanted to know if I had any live goats or chickens. I had to dump that crap in the Trinity River.

58. Michael - March 6, 2011

Officer Paul was the best cop ever.

The defining moment of that whole weekend was Wiser: “Can I hold your gun?”

Criminy. On my deathbed I will wish that I had said something that funny in my life.

59. lauraw - March 6, 2011
60. lauraw - March 6, 2011

“We’ll give you a thousand dollars to tase him.” while pointing at Rosetta

61. lauraw - March 6, 2011

You know, it’s funny. You try to create a totally-planned out situation for people to have fun, and craft the whole thing, but the greatest memories are the shit that happened after things went awry and you had to improvise.

62. Michael - March 6, 2011

A cool thing about Officer Paul was that even though he had a sense of humor with a bunch of drunks, he was still on the job. Remember his short PSA on not leaving any portable GPS devices in the car? I really felt like he was a public servant trying to be of service.

63. Michael - March 6, 2011

“We’ll give you a thousand dollars to tase him.”

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I was ready to chip in my share.

64. lauraw - March 6, 2011

I think that was Wiser too.

65. Michael - March 6, 2011

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was Wiser.

But I had drunk one or two beers by then, so I could be wrong.

66. daveintexas - March 6, 2011

I still have Officer Paul’s card.

67. Michael - March 6, 2011

Scott and Laura were actually the perfect hosts at this bacchanal. They were calm and watchful. I noticed and appreciated that. They did not let Peej drown in her puddle, for example.

68. Michael - March 6, 2011

Call me sick, but I’m still wondering if Peej got the oil stains out of her panties. I don’t have the guts to ask.

69. lauraw - March 6, 2011

*touched* Thank you for noticing, Michael.

*prideful*

We’re real good at watchin’ stuff.

70. Retired Geezer - March 7, 2011

Tuber Update:

My pond pump quit and the ice was 2″ thick by the time I noticed. I was afraid our fish had all died but when I chipped the ice away, I could see 3 of them swimming around. One of them was doing the underwater back stroke but still moving.

I was concerned that the Tubers that LauraW sent me were also victims but today I saw that one of them had unfurled a lily pad.

Behold:

Notice the prison-grade bars over the pond. They do a fine job of keeping out fish predators.

71. lauraw - March 7, 2011

If the stem is bright red, it’s probably Perry’s Orange Sunset. But I don’t know why I would have ever sent you that monster lily.

More likely it’s a Chromatella or this nice unknown dwarf lily I had that has mottled leaves like that. It blooms with a pale blush-pink flower.

72. Retired Geezer - March 7, 2011

I’ll flip it over once we venture outside.

Apparently if it rains steadily all night and the temperature drops to below freezing, the rain metamorphoses into snow.

We got about 2″ and the fluffy flakes are still coming down.

73. lauraw - March 7, 2011

EEEK.

You can keep it, man. We just started to see patches of dirt over here for the first time since January.

Of course, they were drifting downstream, but still…

74. Michael - March 7, 2011

We’re sufferin’ too, man. It’s down to 62°, and it ain’t even dark yet. Damn this brutal winter weather!

75. Lipstick - March 7, 2011

64 here — I’m wearing my fuzzy socks and staying brave.

76. Michael - March 7, 2011

*pats Lipstick on head*

You’re a tough girl, you can make it.

77. wiserbud - March 11, 2011

The defining moment of that whole weekend was Wiser: “Can I hold your gun?”

Actually, my favorite line was “Okay, one more picture, this time with everyone except Michael!”


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