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When Emmitt Attacks March 26, 2011

Posted by daveintexas in Blogroll, Handblogging, Honor, Humor, Man Laws, Nature Shit, Personal Experiences, Pop Culture, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, WTF?.
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Somebody I know needs some nails trimmed.

After we became reacquainted he expressed remorse by licking my face off.  He’s huge, and a very beautiful black lab.

ALSO!

I gots two nanner tree sprouts so far.

Comments»

1. BrewFan - March 26, 2011

I get those scratches from Buddy too. My skin is paper thin though so its hard for me to get mad at him.

2. Michael - March 26, 2011

Those sprouts look kinda skinny and yaller.

Maybe you shoulda give them some real fertilizer last year, instead of just pissing on them.

3. daveintexas - March 26, 2011

Michael. Michael Michael Michael.

I’m just showing you the sprouts, and expressing that I’m glad they’re growing, because they make my yard a nice place to be.

Relax.

Don’t do it.

4. Cathy - March 26, 2011

Yay!

*does happy dance around Dave’s pool*

5. Cathy - March 26, 2011

Er. Um. Sorry about your scratches, Dave.

*kisses Dave’s boo-boo*

6. kevlarchick - March 26, 2011

Puppy love!
*kisses Emmitt*

7. daveintexas - March 26, 2011

Watch your arms.

I think he smelled Moses on me. He was kinda crazy for a few minutes, then he settled down. While I was talking to eldest baby girl he crawled up on the sofa and plunked his giant head in my lap and wanted ears scritched.

So I did that.

Sheesh, he’s a monster now though. But still so jet black and pretty.

8. kevlarchick - March 26, 2011

Good dog Emmitt. He loves you Dave. And he will protect your little girl.

9. daveintexas - March 26, 2011

Hell he almost protected her from me!

I understand his “HI” crazy. He’s still a baby. It was nice though when I sat on the sofa visiting with her and he scrunched up next to me and plopped his seventy two pound head in my lap.

Good god. Agreed.

10. Cathy - March 26, 2011

Looking at that scratch makes me hurt.

Owwie.

11. Michael - March 26, 2011

Michael. Michael Michael Michael.

Do you ever feel like we should be sending royalty checks to the Smothers Brothers?

I would bet a zillion dollars that we watched the same shows.

12. Dave in Texas - March 26, 2011

Mom always liked me best.

13. Michael - March 26, 2011

I know that.

Fuck you.

14. daveintexas - March 26, 2011

>> I would bet a zillion dollars that we watched the same shows.

Oh sure. Cept mine were re-runs.

15. BrewFan - March 27, 2011

I also should mention that when looking at Dave’s shoots I couldn’t help but think ‘spring awakening’.

16. When Emmitt Attacks | thewikipress.com - March 27, 2011

[…] Author:https://michaelscomments.wordpress.com/2011/03/26/when-emmitt-attacks/ Share this:EmailFacebookPrintDiggRedditStumbleUpon Tagged with: Attacks • Emmitt  If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it! You might also like Fight Nail Fungus, Grow Natural NailsThis Nail Fungus ebook… Israel recruits hackers for cyber attacks  … Study Examines Super Bowls & Heart Attacks PITTSBURGH… China attacks WordPress.com: ‘Largest and most sustained attack’ in WP history … […]

17. lauraw - March 27, 2011

>> I would bet a zillion dollars that we watched the same shows.

Well for crying out loud, there were only three.

18. Pupster - March 27, 2011

Well for crying out loud, there were only three.

http://tinyurl.com/5olqsm

http://tinyurl.com/4hwp8x6

Nope. Only two.

19. lauraw - March 27, 2011

Color?

How old are you Pupster? My fam didn’t even own a color TV until the late 70’s.

20. Lipstick - March 27, 2011

Ouch Dave! Neosporin!

21. lauraw - March 27, 2011

*pulls decades-old bottle of Mercurochrome out of cupboard and blows the dust off it*

C’mere.

22. daveintexas - March 27, 2011

*backs away slowly, looking for an escape route

23. Cathy - March 27, 2011

Ouch Dave! Neosporin!

… or consider ‘New-Skin’ which you brush on over the scratch. It dries and forms a seal. Works pretty well for me.

24. daveintexas - March 27, 2011

I actually did put some neosporin on it. I don’t wanna get “dog scratch fever”

25. Pupster - March 27, 2011

How old are you Pupster?

Oh man. That’s what my Mom used to say when I did something bad. I totally read that and heard Mom’s aggravated tone of voice.

I was born in ’67. I don’t remember when we got our first color TV other than it was one of those huge console jobs that weighed @500 lbs.

I do remember arguing with my sister that I could see different colors on our black and white TV. I guess I assigned them to different shades of gray with my imagination.

26. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2011

We used to have a little piece of plastic that we taped over our B&W TV.

The top was blue (for sky).
The center was flesh colored (if you weren’t a scary brown person).
The Bottom was Green (for grass).

People actually used to buy those things.

27. Michael - March 27, 2011

Geezer speaks the truth. Those screens were sold as a cheap way to convert your TV to color.

The first color TV show I ever saw was Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color, which was one of the first color shows to be aired.

The family next door to my maternal grandparents, who had kids our age and that we knew, was an early adopter of color TV. I thought it was awesome. I was blown away when Tinkerbell came out and added the color.

My Dad was cheap a late adopter. We were the last family in America to get a B&W TV, and we only got one because the congregation gave it to him because they felt sorry for us kids. (We learned this from Mom many years later.)

28. Michael - March 27, 2011

I still remember the first TV show I ever saw. I was at a neighbor’s house (of course), and watched a horror movie set in Africa called “The Monsters from Green Hell.” Or something like that. It was about giant bugs (wasps, IIRC) eating people. They had been exposed to radiation or something. The special effects were really cheesy, even I could see that, but I was scared almost to death. I was a little kid.

Then I was terrified to tell my parents I had seen this. I felt guilty because there was a bad word in the title.

29. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2011

Then I was terrified to tell my parents I had seen this. I felt guilty because there was a bad word in the title.

Green is a bad word?

Couldn’t you have told your parents you watched “The Monsters from Verde Hell”?

30. daveintexas - March 27, 2011

daaaaaamn my dog stinks.

*runs the bath.

come here.. goddammit you little shit.. argh

31. BrewFan - March 27, 2011

We had a beagle and lived in an area with a lot of horses. She came home green more than once.

32. Michael - March 27, 2011

Cathy and I are going to watch a movie tonight during dinner. An old one I ordered from NetFlix — “Enemy at the Gates.”

For this event, she made me chili, with fresh jalapenos on top, served with Nacho Cheese Doritos and milk.

That’s how I know she still loves me.

33. Michael - March 27, 2011

Geezer, I don’t mean to sound harsh about my Dad.

As he admitted, late in life, he grew up without a father, and didn’t really know how to be one. But he did his level best, and largely succeeded.

What he did not say is that Grandma Meyer was a super German bitch with a 2×4 stuck up her ass who was super-possessive about her favorite son. We learned that from Mom.

Look, I figure a big part of growing up is understanding and accepting your parents, and relating to them as an adult. We all fuck up, and our kids have to get past it.

34. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2011

Yep.

That there’s wisdom.

Did Cathy put Marie Sharps on the chili?

35. lauraw - March 27, 2011

For this event, she made me chili, with fresh jalapenos on top, served with Nacho Cheese Doritos and milk.

That’s how I know she still loves me.

*wonders if Michael knows that Lipitor pills are not supposed to look exactly like Jujubes*

*decides to mind my own business*

36. daveintexas - March 27, 2011

cholesterol is for fags.

37. geoff - March 27, 2011

cholesterol is for fags.

Plus, lots of exercise will help with any cholesterol problems.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

38. Michael - March 27, 2011

Did Cathy put Marie Sharps on the chili?

No, it was served on the side.

39. lauraw - March 27, 2011

Michael! It’s time for your meds!

http://is.gd/xUdbpB

40. Cathy - March 27, 2011

Awwwww, Love those Circus Peanuts!

*grabs bag from Lauraw*

*shoves 5 in mouth*

*hides bag under car seat*

41. Pupster - March 28, 2011

Plus, lots of exercise will help with any cholesterol problems.

I’ve never had a problem that cholesterol made worse.

42. Retired Geezer - March 28, 2011

I’m waiting for Bart to show up and shave Dave’s leg.

Wait, that must be an arm, it’s too flabby.

43. Pupster's Heart - March 28, 2011

I’ve never had a problem that cholesterol made worse.

Oy vay!

44. Russ from Winterset - March 28, 2011

“Enemy at the Gates”? Good movie, even though it did get the “Hollywood treatment”. Vassily Zaitsev was one hell of a shot, mainly because he could hit ANYTHING at all with the Mosin/Nagant 91/30. If you don’t know anything about guns, visualize a badly warped 2×4 with an old rusty pipe strapped to it. Then, slap a 2.5x scope with foggy optics to the top of the rig like a cherry on a hot fudge sundae and go out and do battle with the best equipped corps of snipers fielded by any army in WW2. I found the source book in a secondhand store a few years ago, and it’s surprising how well the movie sticks to the sniper storyline presented in the book. Check it out if you get the chance, it’s at least the equal of a Cornelius Ryan book.

Janis and I saw that movie in College Station, TX back in the spring of ’01. We got to the theatre right before they turned the lights down, and the only seats left were up in the front row. Front row seats for the Battle of Stalingrad? Yeah, not a good idea.

45. Michael - March 28, 2011

Russ, are you saying it was hard to “warm Janis up” after the movie, even though you took her to the A&W and let her order whatever she wanted?

46. Russ from Winterset - March 28, 2011

Dude, we were coming up on our first anniversary in the spring of ’01. Once you’re married, it’s not about “warming up”, it’s all about starting early so you can be done in time to see most of Letterman.

47. Michael - March 29, 2011

In ’01, you should have been finished when Leno came on. I’ll bet you wasted time on that “foreplay” nonsense.


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