jump to navigation

The Most Difficult Thing to Say Ever April 16, 2011

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Ballistics, Blogroll, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Entertainment, Family, Food, Gardening, Handblogging, Heroes, History, Honor, Humor, Law, Literature, Lurkers, Man Laws, Movies, Music, Nature Shit, News, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Politics, Pop Culture, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Sitemeter, Sports, Stupid shit, Technology, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Travel, Websites, Women Ranting, WTF?.

Michael, it seems you were right.

Wow.  That was difficult.

I mentioned after the big unusual freezes here that I keep saying are unusual AND YET we’ve had em back to back for the past two winters, that I thought we lost both sago palms.  I didn’t even bother looking at this one until today.

Look closer…

Little sago palm dicks!

This one I’m not so sure about, seems like there’s still life in it somewhere.

We’ll see.  Here, have some pool Zen



1. MCPO Airdale - April 16, 2011

Palms are considered weeds in Florida. Can’t kill the damned things!

2. Michael - April 16, 2011

Your back fence needs to be restained. Get the stuff that penetrates and is resistant to UV light.

3. Cathy - April 16, 2011

Your palm sprouts are beautiful, Dave.

Our sago … still sleeping… or dead.

4. Dave in Texas - April 16, 2011

Ok, that helped Michael. Thank you.

5. Retired Geezer - April 16, 2011

Uh, how’s the Tuber that LauraW sent you doing?

*Geezer tries to hide a grin behind his hand*

6. daveintexas - April 17, 2011

I keel you.

7. lauraw - April 17, 2011


8. xbradtc - April 17, 2011

You’re gonna treat Geezer like a tuber from Laura?

9. daveintexas - April 17, 2011

all five nanner trees have springed up out of the ground.

10. Michael - April 18, 2011

Both of my tubers from Laura have springed up out of the water.

Which amazes me, because they were just part of a big ice ball last winter.

Also, the potted spearmint and peppermint is all coming back. I have some in my drink right now.

11. lauraw - April 18, 2011

Wiser told me last Fall that the spearmint from my yard that he planted next to his porch had all died in the drought last Summer even though he had watered it.

I remember looking at him last Fall and saying, “It DIED? Mint? No. Are you sure??”

Blew my mind. Mint…does not die. It merely lays low for a while and gathers strength.
Anyway, it’s sprouting up in his yard now. Soon he and WiserBeauty will be cursing me and vowing vengeance.

12. daveintexas - April 18, 2011

Son of a.. two managers quit on me today.

13. Michael - April 19, 2011

You prolly should have let them go home once in a while.

14. daveintexas - April 19, 2011

It occurs to me that 5 outta 6 direct reports either quit or I ran off.

Maybe it’s me?

15. skinbad - April 19, 2011
16. OBF - April 19, 2011

Someone needs to exhale much more frequently and harder in order to make more global warming. Then your little prehistoric plants can survive.

Michael - April 19, 2011

It occurs to me that 5 outta 6 direct reports either quit or I ran off.

So, just one more to go and then you can start dishing out some promotions!

Good thinking. I like your style.

When promoting people, remember, focus on ass-kissers first, competence second.

17. wiserbud - April 19, 2011

It occurs to me that 5 outta 6 direct reports either quit or I ran off.

nah, it’s probably my fault somehow……

18. wiserbud - April 19, 2011

Soon he and WiserBeauty will be cursing me and vowing vengeance.

Here, we brought you back this really nice plant we found on our recent trip to North Carolina.

I think it would look great in your backyard….

Michael - April 19, 2011

Fortunately, kudzu will not survive a New England winter.

19. Michael - April 19, 2011

Kudzu is a highly invasive African vine that is a serious problem in the southeastern U.S. The vines choke off the roadside trees, successfully competing for sunlight. However, it’s not all bad. It is edible by livestock and humans. As a member of the pea family, it adds nitrogen to the soil.

They can’t survive a hard freeze, so Laura, you have nothing to worry about. Wiser’s threat is empty.

Which is sorta characteristic of Wiser, if you think about it. He’s a big ole pussy trying to pretend otherwise.

20. Michael - April 19, 2011

IB Family Theater:

Wiser: Michael, you have insulted me and I demand satisfaction.

*Wiser slaps Michael with glove*

Michael: OK, Wiser, it’s lightsabers at dawn!


Wiser: En garde!

Michael: En garde!

*furious battle, much noise of clanking lightsabers, Michael disarms Wiser and pins him to the ground.*

Wiser: Please sir, do not kill me!

Michael: Do you promise never to make fun of Batman again?

Wiser: Yes!

Michael: Do you promise never to whine about living in Connecticut again?

Wiser: Yes!

Michael: Do you promise never to gripe about your physical condition again?

Wiser: Yes!

Michael: Can I get a date with your daughter?

. . .


21. Mrs. Peel - April 19, 2011

I still can’t believe you guys are actually trying to keep palms alive. I’ve given mine nothing but malignant neglect, and the bastards keep coming back.

22. Dave in Texas - April 19, 2011

>> Kudzu is a highly invasive African vine.

Which is pretty impressive for a vine that is native to Japan and southeast China (where it came from).

23. wiserbud - April 19, 2011

Which is sorta characteristic of Wiser, if you think about it. He’s a big ole pussy trying to pretend otherwise.

you hurt me deeply.

24. wiserbud - April 19, 2011

You really are not very good at this “negotiation” thing at all, are you?

25. Michael - April 19, 2011

Wiser, I am very good at the “negotiation” thing. That’s why I get to retire at the age of 58.

Here’s the basic fact about any negotiation — the deal is over before the negotiation starts. It just depends on who is better prepared. You have to understand:

1. The spreadsheet. You have to understand the economics and risk factors in each party’s evaluation of how the deal makes sense.

2. The human factor. You have to know what is driving the people who make the decision. Is it just money and they are professional flippers who start companies and move on? Do they feel a family obligation towards their executive team? Are they obligated towards long-suffering shareholders? Are they building a personal empire and legacy? Are they scared of going under?

The easiest deals are done between lawyers who did the prep work.

26. Retired Geezer - April 20, 2011

That’s why I get to retire at the age of 58.

I retired at 55.

Of course we didn’t have the portfolio that Michael did so we eat cat food three times a week.

If it wasn’t for Mrs. Geezer’s skill at Exotic Dancing, we couldn’t even afford that.

Life is good.

27. kevlarchick - April 20, 2011

IB Family Theatre

Tornado Warning issues for Kevlar household. I wake up Mr Kevlar, who has slept solid despite 30 minutes of siren blasting. He wanders to the kitchen, pours himself some iced tea, and steps out onto the patio for a 2am cigarette.

Mr Kevlar: looks like rain
Me from basement: yeah
Mr Kevlar: guess I won’t get the grass cut tomorrow. Too wet.
Me from basement: yeah
Mr Kevlar: what is that damn siren?
Me from basement: tornado warning dear
Mr Kevlar: Well hell. reckon I’ll come inside.

The storm blew thru in about 3 minutes. He’s back to bed snoring. Looking forward to flooded basement in the morning.

28. lauraw - April 20, 2011

Mr Kevlar: looks like rain
Me from basement: yeah

OK, that cracked me up.

29. Dave in Texas - April 20, 2011

Crap! After all those bad storms last week too.

a. Glad you’re ok.
b. Sorry about the basement.
c. But glad you have one.
d. also, what’s a basement?

30. lauraw - April 20, 2011

It’s like a crawlspace but it holds more dessicated hobos.

31. skinbad - April 20, 2011

^You can stack them on end.

Everyone in Utah has a basement. It’s where we keep our canned peaches and cases of TP (apocalypse necessities).

32. daveintexas - April 20, 2011


33. kevl - April 20, 2011

A basement is something I will no longer have to worry about if I move to Texas.

I was listening to a local home improvement show and the guy said “in the Midwest, basements built before 1970 were not really meant to be lived in. They are perpetually damp, leaking is common, and they are ugly. They are meant for utility rooms, storage, and maybe a spare toilet.”

At this point that’s about all our basement is right now. It’s like a cold wet dungeon. I hate it. We should just fill it with dirt and seal it off.

34. lauraw - April 20, 2011

The cellar in my old house was meant to be lived in. It was great. It was heated and furnished and we used it as a rec room in Summer because it was always cool down there.

The one in the apartment building in Hartford was vast, useful, and dry. But it remained unfurnished and always had a little sour smell to it because of so many decades of ginny winemaking activities going on down there 😉

35. kevl - April 20, 2011

Exactly. A basement should generally be used for clandestine activities like pot growing and alcohol distilling.

36. daveintexas - April 20, 2011

Texas has very few basements for 3 reasons.

1. A bunch of houses sit on a couple feet of soil and then limestone. Very expensive to excavate, and no way to drain (without pumps).

2. Or they sit on thick clay soil (cleeche) which expands when wet and contracts a lot when dry (6 to 12 inch cracks are common). This would put too much pressure on the exterior basement walls and break them.

3. Or they sit on a very high water table (Southeast Texas in particular).

Not a good idea here.

37. Michael - April 20, 2011



Don’t step on mud here. It sticks like glue to your shoes. You’ll need a wire brush to get it off.

38. Dave in Texas - April 20, 2011

I thought caliche was a vine from Africa?

39. Michael - April 20, 2011

That vine you’re thinking about is probably Asian Jasmine, Dave. I don’t think it’s from Africa. I’ve got some in my yard. I’ll bet you do too. It’s a ground cover that is very heat and drought tolerant, so it is ubiquitous in Texas.

You gotta watch that stuff, or it will snatch your dog and kill it. It’s as bad as the mint up north.

40. Michael - April 20, 2011

You can control Asian Jasmine with Roundup, or a flamethrower, or tactical nuclear artillery shells. They all work, but Roundup is not so hard on your cedar fence.

41. Cathy - April 20, 2011

We have black clay soil here in Dallas… a tad different from the caliche soil of San Antonio. That’s why it’s tough to get off your shoes, even with a wire brush.

42. lauraw - April 20, 2011

We have a wide variety of soils here in CT. Legacy of a volcanic, glacial, and river-strewn past.

Where my Mom lives just a few miles away she has brown sandy loam topping a deep layer of buff sand (I have gone to dig in her yard when I needed clean sand for masonry), in turn topping a thick layer of perfect grey river clay (people dig it up for making pots), topping a subsoil of deep very coarse yellow sand. It is thin stuff, and can be tough to get a crop out of (even lawn grass) if you don’t add lots of organic matter to beef it up.

Here on the other side of the CT River we have a very deep layer of dark silt-heavy brownish red loam over pale rusty-orange clayey silt and bands of brittle, buff shale. Everything grows in it. With abandon.

When I was growing gardens in Hartford, the soil was deep brown-to-black, fine-texured, loamy, and very silky to touch.
Except for the old coal clinkers left over from earlier in the 20th century that turned up pretty regularly. Those were like pieces of black glass that would tear up your hand if you happened to be digging around without gloves on.

Anyway. The point is, Texas sucks.

43. BrewFan - April 20, 2011

Anyway. The point is, Texas sucks.

hahaha! *trouble brewing!*

44. daveintexas - April 20, 2011

>> That vine you’re thinking about is probably Asian Jasmine, Dave.

I was actually thinking of your comment #19 regarding kudzu.

45. Cathy - April 21, 2011

Anyway. The point is, Texas sucks.

Hahaha. Hey! We can grow stuff here.

46. skinbad - April 21, 2011

Connecticut sounds very complicated. We have about eight inches of dirt and then rocks all the way down. I’ll have to take a picture of one of the rock piles they stack up when they excavate for a new house. It’s usually not as big as the house, but it’s as big as several cars. We’re pretty close to the mountains though. The farther out in the valley you go I think it’s not so bad.

47. lauraw - April 21, 2011

Well, where Mom lives is pretty much the site of a vast former swamp that had been filled in and farmed way back when that wasn’t a capital crime.

Where I am, it’s mostly layers of shale, brownstone and traprock. http://www.wesleyan.edu/ctgeology/Traprock.PDF

I think that our characteristic Connecticut Bluestone is supposed to be from volcanic activity that happened when CT was still glued to the side of Africa.

Lots of traprock ridges around here.

Michael remembers. Ask him.

48. Michael - April 21, 2011

Yes, I do indeed recall that. I remember remarking to Cathy as we were driving, “Why look there, dear, there is one of the scenic traprock ridges for which Connecticut is justly renowned. It is a form of basalt, suggesting volcanic activity here in the distant past.”

*Michael nods sagely*

Sorry comments are closed for this entry

%d bloggers like this: