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Reminds Me of How IB Got Started September 27, 2011

Posted by geoff in News.

Social network brings people with the same gut bacteria together for $2,100
“My.microbes social network requires a stool sample and a fee worth $2,100 before you can become a member”


1. Retired Geezer - September 27, 2011

I sent Michael a pair of my clean underwear.
Apparently that was enough.

2. Michael - September 27, 2011

Yeah, Geezer, it took a couple of washings to get the skidmarks off so I could use those boxers.

3. Retired Geezer - September 27, 2011

*checks shipping rates from Idaho to Texas*

4. lauraw - September 27, 2011

How much is a ‘sample?’

Oh, never mind, if it’s too much he can throw the rest away.

*closes lid on quart tupperware container*

*types Michael’s address into shipping field*

5. lauraw - September 27, 2011

You can keep the tupperware, btw, I don’t need it back

6. daveintexas - September 27, 2011

If you like your stool sample, you can keep your stool sample.

7. President Barack H. Obama - September 27, 2011

Pass this stool sample now!!

8. Nancy Pelosi - September 27, 2011

You’ll have to pass the stool so that you can find out what is in it.

9. Bill O'Reilly - September 27, 2011

I’m just lookin out for the folks’ stool samples.

10. President Barack H. Obama - September 27, 2011

I think when you spread the stool around, it’s good for everybody.

11. OBF - September 27, 2011

Can someone tell me why food smells so good, if prepared correctly, going in your body and then the same stuff smells so bad going out?

12. President Barak H. Obama - September 27, 2011

“Stimulus and shovel ready” in the same package. Don’t tell me I don’t know how to run a country!

13. Bdizzle@gmail.com - September 27, 2011

If you love me, you will give me a stool sample!

14. Retired Geezer - September 27, 2011

Let’s make it our goal to send Michael stool samples from all 57 states.
We can do this, people.

15. Jug-Eared Dipshit - September 27, 2011

At some point, I do think you’ve made enough stool samples.

16. scoamf@gmail.com - September 27, 2011

Look, I don’t mind if you call me a class warrior for asking billionaires to provide the same stool samples as a Jew… uh.. umm.. I mean.. a janitor.

17. skinbad - September 27, 2011

“Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’. I know it hurts, but sometimes you just got to pass what needs passin’.”

18. President Wonderful - September 27, 2011

We’ve created or saves over two million stool samples.

19. Slow Joe Biden - September 27, 2011

I mean, you got the first mainstream stool that is articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking, I mean, that’s a storybook, man.

20. Totally Not Meghan McCain - September 27, 2011


21. Harry Reid, (D-umbass) - September 27, 2011

My staff tells me not to say this, but I’m going to say it anyway, In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the stool samples coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it’s true.

22. James Carville - September 27, 2011

I mean, come on man, do somethin! We in real a mess down heah!

23. Sigmund Freud - September 27, 2011

Sometimes a stool is just a stool.

24. Sheriff Joe "Joe" Biden - September 27, 2011

This is a big fucking stool sample.

25. Granny Rictus Pelosi - September 27, 2011

Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their stools.

26. skinbad - September 27, 2011

Veal Loin and Mutton Cutlets

Stuff Jefferson Passed, 3rd ed. Revised and Embiggened

27. Slow Joe Biden - September 27, 2011

When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s my stool.”

28. skinbad - September 27, 2011

“Hillary Clinton’s stool is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.”

29. Slow Joe Biden - September 27, 2011

I got my stool tested for AIDS. I know Barack got his stool tested for AIDS. There is no shame in having your stool tested for AIDS…

30. James Carville - September 27, 2011

We need another stool stimulus

31. Slow Joe Biden - September 27, 2011

You cannot go bring a stool sample into a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…. I’m not joking.

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