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I’m Sure You Remember Jack Handey’s “Deep Thoughts” March 9, 2012

Posted by geoff in News.

He’s still at it:


An old favorite:

“The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he’s completely draped in it. Then he’ll stand up and go, ‘Hey, I’m Vine Man.'”


1. geoff - March 9, 2012

Good collection here.

2. Retired Geezer - March 9, 2012

I love that guy.

3. lauraw - March 9, 2012

Awesome find, Geoff.

4. digitalbrownshirt - March 9, 2012

So, is he a real person or just a name made up for SNL? I know damn sure it can’t be Al Franken because Deep Thoughts are actually funny.

5. geoff - March 9, 2012

According to Wikipedia:

Jack Handey (born 25 February 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his “Fuzzy Memories” and “My Big Thick Novel” shorts. Although many people assume otherwise, Handey is a real person, not a pen name or character.

6. daveintexas - March 10, 2012

This one was my fav:

“Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.”

7. Michael - March 10, 2012

Wow, that’s a good idea.

*buys pumpkin, plans drive to Dave’s house*

8. daveintexas - March 10, 2012

I’m armed.

9. SOYLENT GREEN - March 10, 2012

Jack Handy, that’s news I can use.

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