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An Anglican Minister Claims Jesus Was Likely Gay April 25, 2012

Posted by geoff in News.

I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of reading something this stupid in quite some time:

Was Jesus Gay? Probably

Jesus was a Hebrew rabbi. Unusually, he was unmarried. The idea that he had a romantic relationship with Mary Magdalene is the stuff of fiction, based on no biblical evidence. The evidence, on the other hand, that he may have been what we today call gay is very strong.


So what is this “very strong” evidence?

“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple. ‘Behold your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” That disciple was John whom Jesus, the gospels affirm, loved in a special way.

Heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual: Jesus could have been any of these. There can be no certainty which. The homosexual option simply seems the most likely. The intimate relationship with the beloved disciple points in that direction. It would be so interpreted in any person today.

Is that it? That’s the evidence that Jesus was “most likely” gay? Well, not quite – he also goes on about depictions in Last Supper paintings, which show John with his close to, or on, Jesus’ chest. Apparently it never occurred to the author that those Last Supper paintings were created more than a millennium after biblical events, and so do not have any bearing on the history of Jesus’ time.

I’ll let others more knowledgeable than I deal with that supposedly incriminating passage above.

It seems to me that part of the power of the Gospel is the universal appeal of the message: everyone can be saved because Jesus sacrificed himself for all of humanity. Trying to stake a claim for a particular segment of the population is contrary to that sentiment.

And trying to sexualize the nonsexual is tawdry and crass.


1. joanofargghh - April 25, 2012

Actually, it’s evil. It’s a distortion of truth in order to grab power.

2. Russ from Winterset - April 25, 2012

The willingness of Gay Activists to latch onto ANY historical figure with spurious “…and you know what? HE WAS GAY!” claims has gone beyond parody. It’s like watching a dog piss all over something in order to claim it as his own.

And you know what the worst part is? Jesus didn’t have to be gay to love gay people. He loved everyone. I know, because I actually read the whole damn book.

“Jesus was gay.”
“Jesus would be a Democrat.”
“Jesus would be an Occupy Activist.”
“Jesus wants you to give all your money and freewill to the State.”
“Jesus loved the Green Bay Packers more than he loved the Detroit Lions.”

(well, maybe the last one has some validity)

3. Michael - April 25, 2012

As a theological matter, it’s rather obvious that Jesus loves the Spurs and helped their late-season run to end at the top of the NBA West.

4. BrewFan - April 25, 2012

If you want to discredit/change the teaching of Jesus you need to discredit His claim to be God incarnate. Claiming he was of any sexual orientation is just another attempt to do this and there in a nutshell you have the reason why the Anglican church is rotting from within along with many other mainline Protestant denominations.

5. mare - April 25, 2012

Idiot indeed! Paintings of the Last Supper are not real time photographs.

hahahaha….Laughing at stupid people is fun.

6. digitalbrownshirt - April 25, 2012

Jesus is God. What does God say about homosexuality?

And no, I don’t hate homosexuals. I’m one evangelical that remembers that Jesus loves the sinners as much as the saints, and so should I.

Hate the sin, love the sinner.

7. Jewel - April 25, 2012

May we just stick a fork in the Anglican Church and convert their buildings into mosques and bath houses, now?

8. Retired Geezer - April 25, 2012

^ What they all said.

9. Mark in NJ - April 25, 2012

Ecce homo…just sayin’

It’s surprising how many people were actually gay:

10. OBF - April 25, 2012

I think He was married. I think the scene, after the resurection, where He appeared first to Mary, is one of the best love scenes ever. Of all the people He could have visited to provide comfort after His cruel death He chose Mary. That wasn’t an accidental encounter. Perhaps, no one loved Him more than her.

11. vaitguy - April 25, 2012

Cool DBS.

My 40Y old nephew just visited us Southern Fried Crackers&trad with his new asterisk. When he got back home he sent me about five FB texts thanking us for loving on his beau and not judging their lifestyle. My response was, “I do love you, the other stuff is between you and God.”

12. kevl - April 25, 2012

OBF I like your interpretation very much. I don’t think they were married; but he was fully man, and loved her as a (straight) man loves a woman.

13. kevl - April 25, 2012

Also, Jesus a Hebrew rabbi? Certainly he was a Jew, but he didn’t exactly click with the Sanhedrin.

14. Michael - April 25, 2012

Well, people did actually refer to him as a rabbi, which just means “teacher” in the Hebrew language. You did not need a license from the Sanhedrin to earn this title.

“Rabbi” does not mean gay person who has the hots for John.

15. Michael - April 25, 2012

He was even called “rabboni,” which is a huge honorific term.

16. Michael - April 25, 2012

In the original Hebrew language, “rabboni” refers to BBQ pork ribs that have been rubbed. It actually should be translated as “rub-the-bones.”

Pork was an unclean meat for the Jews, but the bony ribs could be purified by rubbing them with Jerry Baird’s Cowboy Seasoning.

(See sidebar for link to Jerry’s website.)

17. daveintexas - April 25, 2012


I thought a rabboni was one of those things they use in a hockey rink to smooth out the ice.


18. OBF - April 25, 2012

alas…we’re surrounded by heathens. Hey, that’s okay ‘cuz someone needs to set a bad example.

19. lauraw - April 25, 2012

My Nonna used to make the best rabboni. If I think about Sunday mornings at her house when I was a kid, I can still smell it baking.

20. geoff - April 25, 2012

Reminds me of that smarmy old song:

“Tie a yellow rabboni ’round the old oak tree…”

21. lauraw - April 25, 2012
22. Michael - April 25, 2012

Jesus invented the recipe for tuna noodle casseroles. We don’t need to know more than that about him.

23. Mark in NJ - April 25, 2012

If he invented tuna noodles casserole, then he really was gay.

24. Michael - April 25, 2012

*glares at Mark*

You’re gonna be lucky if I send you an occasional Popsicle while you are roasting in hell.

25. Nan G - April 25, 2012

English has one word that translates as ”love” from 4 different ancient Greek words.
Jesus would have had to use eros (sexual love) to be referring to his love for John as sexual.
But Jesus used agape (principled love) to indicate how he and John shared the same values.
There is also philia (brotherly love) which is the love that is thicker than water.
There is also storge (familial love) which literally means around the hearth or supper table.

Idiot Anglican.

26. daveintexas - April 25, 2012

This might be the first time I ever found myself in agreement with Mark in NJ.

I don’t think Jesus invented it, but whoever did.. hoo boy.

27. Retired Geezer - April 25, 2012

There is also philia (brotherly love) which is the love that is thicker than water.

Philadelphia : Philos + Adelphos = City of Brotherly Love

*geezer sits back, all smug.

28. Michael - April 26, 2012

Don’t start with me Dave.

Everybody knows that Jesus invented the tuna noodle casserole, to nourish his church at Lutheran potluck dinners.

This is not actually in the Bible, but it’s something that everyone knows.

29. Michael - April 26, 2012

OK, I don’t want to be too harsh with Dave.

After the memorial service for his father, there was a reception. To my surprise, the reception did not offer any tuna noodle casserole, but there were some really good chocolate chip cookies. I snatched a couple of them to take home. I actually ate them on the road before I got home.

They were good cookies.

30. Russ from Winterset - April 26, 2012

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Martin Luther nail a tuna noodle casserole to a church door to protest the Catholic Church’s deviation from God’s way?

31. Michael - April 26, 2012

Yes, Russ, that is what happened. In Wittenberg, on the castle church door. They have been eating tuna noodle casserole in Wittenberg ever since then.

32. Russ from Winterset - April 26, 2012

*makes note to get Moses an early enrollment in Michael’s “How History SHOULD Have Happened” webinar*

33. Sobek - April 27, 2012

My favorite part of the article is that this guy, who is about to argue that Jesus was a homosexual, rejects the possibility that he was married (to a woman!) because it’s “based on no biblical evidence.”

He needs to get his irony-meter serviced.

34. Sobek - April 27, 2012

Besides, everyone knows Jesus was too busy crucifying Turks – pour encourager les autres – to get romantically attached to anyone.

35. lauraw - April 27, 2012


Man, if I were a Turk back then, I’d be like, “Turks? Nope, sorry. Haven’t seen any. Wrong village, man. We’re Gauls. Foo-foo francais, Je-nais-blah-fah. Ask anybody. Would you care for some brioche and snails? We just made this big batch of brioche and snails. MMMM snails, amirite?”

36. geoff - April 27, 2012

No, don’t take me!! I’m the sixth man!

37. Retired Geezer - April 28, 2012

No, don’t take me!! I’m the sixth man! thirteenth imam.


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