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Weirdest Christmas Morning Ever December 25, 2012

Posted by Michael in Personal Experiences.

All times approximate.

2:00 a.m.

There was a loud clap of thunder. The alarm system started shrieking all over the house, along with the siren outside. Peaches (dog) hates thunder and hid in the laundry room, which is her safe spot. I turned off the alarm, which is odd, because the system was not even armed. Thunder at exactly the right frequency can trigger the glass breakage detectors, but this shouldn’t happen if the system is disarmed.

2:20 a.m.

Doorbell rings. Two firemen in full gear are standing in the pouring rain at my front door, water dripping off their helmets. Big fire truck is in front of my house. The firemen had already looked for evidence of smoke or fire, and could find none. Really good response time, in my opinion. I tell them everything is OK and wish them a Merry Christmas.

Have you ever considered what a remarkably complex and expensive machine a fire truck is? However, they do have a Christmas-like appearance, especially when all the lights are flashing.


5:00 a.m.

Alarm company called and woke me up, wanted to know if everything was OK. I said yes. I also observed that this was not a false alarm caused by me, there was no heat or smoke, and I should not get dinged by the city with a fee. If anything, they should have sent the police. She said she will report this to her supervisor.

5:30 a.m.

Couldn’t sleep, so I decided to make potato bread. In the process, I noticed that refrigerator shelves needed to be wiped down. While wiping down the shelves, I noticed that some bacon was getting a little mold on the edge, so I cooked the bacon.

7:00 a.m.

Peaches is still hiding in the laundry room, but this house is now going to smell great for Christmas, and my refrigerator looks good. And you can’t beat a grilled bacon, egg and cheese sammich on potato bread while you watch a bowl game. All because of thunder.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!


1. Pupster - December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas, Michael.

I have some alarm system knowledge, and some advice.

1) Call the monitoring company, and get an alarm report. Your system should send specific signals which differentiate alarm devices. If thunder setting off the glassbreaks dispatches the fire department, something is not programmed correctly, either in your system or at the monitoring center. If your system took a power surge from a lightning hit, they may have received a signal that they didn’t recognize, and sent the fire department by default, since fire is the highest priority signal. Make sure your system has a surge suppressor on the power supply plug. It will be a large transformer, usually tan or white, plugged in to an outlet near the panel. A lot of times it is screwed down to the outlet faceplate.

2) Test your system. While on the phone with your alarm company, ask them to put you on ‘test’ for an hour, then send them a burglar alarm, panic alarm, fire alarm. Remember the sequence you sent, allow about a minute between signals. Call them back and make sure they received the right signals in the right sequence. If you set off the fire alarm, you will have to reset the detectors from the keypad. Your manual may describe the process, or shoot me an email and I’ll walk you through it.

3) With the system disarmed, test your glassbreak detectors. They may be programmed to report alarms 24/7. The easiest way to test them is to take your keys and bang them on the detector. Keys jangling + vibration close to the detector will set them off.

4) Call your alarm company, and tell them of the trouble you had on Christmas. They may send a technician out to troubleshoot at no cost and pay your fine with the city if you bitch enough. If you don’t want your glassbreaks to alarm on their own, ask them to reprogram them so they are only active with the alarm system on.

5) Apologize to your neighbors about Santa setting off the alarm system. Let them know it is fixed. If you have a history of false alarms, nobody is going to be watching out for you when the siren goes off the next time. The best alarm system in the world is alert, inquisitive, nosy neighbors. Beer may be useful in this situation.

6) Tell Tony Romo I said “Get bent”.

2. Michael - December 25, 2012

Thanks for the advice Pupster. That was helpful.

I already went to Tony’s front porch and took back the Christmas cookies I had left for him, after watching the OT loss to New Orleans. The Cowboys really need to start showing up before the fourth quarter.

3. daveintexas - December 25, 2012

On the other hand, this is the December Cowboys that I know.

Not those other guys

4. Michael - December 25, 2012

So, if you want to burglarize my house, here are some tips:

1. Do it during a thunderstorm, because Peaches is useless as a guard dog in this situation. Just don’t try to steal any dirty laundry from the laundry room where she is hiding.

2. Don’t break any glass, or you will promptly have to explain to the fire department why you are carrying shit out of my house.

3. If you hear anything that sounds like me racking a shell into my Mossberg, you should exit at your earliest convenience. I’m not going to put buckshot in the chamber if I’m not willing to use it. That’s an ounce of lead that exits the muzzle at 1600 fps.

5. digitalbrownshirt - December 25, 2012

At least it wasn’t a SWAT team showing up at your house. 🙂

6. Michael - December 25, 2012

The firemen were both very nice looking young men. I reckoned they had to work on Christmas because they were low on the seniority list.

7. pepelp2 - December 25, 2012

Cyn will probably install a defective alarm asap if it results in nice looking young men showing up.

8. skinbad - December 25, 2012

I wish I had a deluge gun.

9. Lipstick - December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas! Give Peaches a scritch from me.

10. Michael - December 25, 2012

>>>I wish I had a deluge gun.

I got one right here.

11. mare BENGHAZI TRAVESTY - December 25, 2012

Weird Christmas morning, indeed.

Some good knowledge there, Pupster!

12. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere - December 25, 2012

I read this and totally believed Batman took cookies back from Tony Homo.

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