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Excerpts from the Einstein Translation of the Holy Bible February 8, 2013

Posted by Sobek in News.

1 John 4:8 – “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (relatively speaking).”


John 1:5 – “The light shines in the darkness at a rate of 186,000miles per second squared, and the darkness has not overcome it.”


Job 30:18 – “In his great power God becomes like clothing to me; he binds me like the strong nuclear force.”


1. Michael - February 8, 2013

Gen. 1:1-5 —

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, after noticing he was bound by the pesky force of gravity coming from somewhere. Now the universe God knew in five dimensions, including anti-matter and quantum mechanics, was then was ruled by deep chaos, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over space-time.

Just for fun, God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and the photons had a kick-ass effect on the darkness, but were still bound by gravity. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning — the Big Bang.

2. daveintexas - February 8, 2013

2 Samuel 23:4

He is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, which at standard temperature and pressure travels at 186,282 miles per second, in imperial units.

3. OBF - February 8, 2013

Proverbs 21:19

(Never use this before going on a hunting or fishing trip)
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

4. Sobek - February 9, 2013

Matt. 25:32-33 – “All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a linear accelerator separates the charm quarks from the strange quarks. He will put the charm quarks on his right and the strange quarks on his left.”

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