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A Modern Re-Enactment of Luke 10:25-37 June 11, 2013

Posted by skinbad in News, Religion.
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25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbor?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain woman went down to St. George, Utah, and fell unconscious outside her apartment.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw her, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on her, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where she was: and when he saw her, he had compassion on her,

34 And went to her, and carried her to his apartment, and changed her clothes, and put her on his bed and hugged her to try to get her temperature up, and applied his heated dipstick because he wanted to save her life. Oh, and he washed her up while she was sedated before calling the police because he was so worried about her and about rape kits.

35 And when he departed with the police he said unto them, I would have done the same for you.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbor unto her that fell unconscious?

37 And he said, I don’t know what to say. Then said Jesus unto him, It doesn’t matter, SMOD should be here any minute.

Comments»

1. wintersetruss - June 11, 2013

St. George. It truly is “the Florida of Utah”.

2. thirdnews - June 11, 2013

Holy crap -did the lawyer claim the defendant was taking her temperature too?

3. Pupster - June 11, 2013

The woman later told police she thought she might have been raped and recalled being dressed in a pair of the man’s underwear and shorts.

OH COME ON!

4. lauraw - June 11, 2013

38 Yea, verily! And SMOD will redeem the Earth, in much the same way that those shredder machines at the supermarket redeem soda cans.

39 Yep.

5. lauraw - June 11, 2013

‘heated dipstick’ was a nice touch, btw

6. daveintexas - June 11, 2013

Sweet meteor of death come take me now.

7. skinbad - June 11, 2013

#5. Thanks. And Happy BD.

thirdnews - June 11, 2013

“Sweet meteor of death come take me now.” -lol. The way things are going, the government might tax your estate for a proctological demineralization

8. daveintexas - June 11, 2013

Today I stood at the door like Moses, waving to the people.

“And yeah, verily, Moses bade farewell to the Levi’s heading out the door, looking at his watch and sayeth to himself ‘5:01′”

9. Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K (and in Utah) | Innocent Bystanders - August 8, 2013

[…] I believe Russ said something about Utah being a Florida-in-training after the great human meat thermometer caper. […]


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