FAQs for the Columbus Day Texas Moron Meet-Up And Five Million Hits Celebration July 25, 2013Posted by Michael in News.
Have you ever noticed that the “FA” in FAQs is almost always fraudulent? The questions are not necessarily “frequently asked,” they are just those which the vendor thinks you should be asking, and wants you to know the answer, whether you thought of them or not.
In that spirit of disingenuity, I offer the following FAQs regarding the Columbus Day Texas Moron Meet-Up And Five Million Hits Celebration™, hereinafter referred to as the CDTMM&FMHC.
Q: What is the event?
A: The CDTMM&FMHC. Please try to pay attention.
Q: Who came up with this idea and is the person in charge of this event?
Q: When is it going to happen?
A: The weekend of Columbus Day, October 11-14.
Q: Where will it be?
A: It will be based at my house in the mid-cities area of the Dallas Metroplex, just a short cab ride from DFW, four doors west and across the street from Tony Romo’s house.
Q: What is the purpose of this event?
A1: To celebrate the avarice, courage and adventurous spirit of Christopher Columbus, a man who apparently did not know you are supposed to get a decent haircut before you sit for a portrait.
A2: To commemorate the likely achievement of five million hits from all over the world by Innocent Bystanders, an astonishing occurrence given that this site was initially just a joke by Retired Geezer. See sidebar to check our progress towards 5M.
A3: To enjoy good times and fellowship with the online friends we have grown to cherish over the years.
Q: Who has committed to attend already?
Q: Just Geoff?!?
A: DaveinTexas and Cathy have also said they will attend.
Q: What about you?
A: I have to be there. It’s at my house.
Q: What is going to happen?
A: It’s not really fixed yet, but traditionally these things work like this:
Friday Evening Premeetup: This is especially for folks arriving from out of town on Friday. Likely venue is the Spirit Grille, the dive bar closest to my house.
Daytime Saturday: Likely events include mid-morning brunch at my house, the discharge of firearms at the nearby Elm Fork outdoor range, possible visit to the historic district of Grapevine for some old-timey Texas atmosphere.
Saturday Night: Party involving the burning of meat, the consumption of adult beverages, and Dave falling in the pool.
Sunday: Sobering up, breakfast meetings and departures.
If you have Columbus Day off (Monday), you might want to make this a long weekend and enjoy some of the many attractions in this area, e.g., the Dallas Museum of Art, the Fort Worth Historic District, the Kennedy stuff and West End in the city, etc. The State Fair of Texas will also be running here at that time, a huge fair with many acts and attractions.
Q: What about accommodations?
A: Many choices nearby in the Las Colinas area to fit any budget. There is a La Quinta very close to my house which is moderately priced and, according to Geoff and others who have stayed there, is OK. You can call the La Quinta at 972-261-4900.
Hope you can make it! Let us know in the comments if you have any suggestions or questions.