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The Plot to Turn Men Into Chicks September 13, 2013

Posted by geoff in News.
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Not satisfied with our already-excessive population of metrosexuals, medical researchers are touting the virtues of estrogen for men:

It is the scourge of many a middle-aged man: he starts getting a pot belly, using lighter weights at the gym and somehow just doesn’t have the sexual desire of his younger years.

The obvious culprit is testosterone, since men gradually make less of the male sex hormone as years go by. But a surprising new answer is emerging, one that doctors say could reinvigorate the study of how men’s bodies age. Estrogen, the female sex hormone, turns out to play a much bigger role in men’s bodies than previously thought, and falling levels contribute to their expanding waistlines just as they do in women’s.

So middle-aged guys need more estrogen? Yeah right, like I’d fall for that. So I ran a computer simulation of the likely effect of estrogen on the typical IB guy. Here are the shocking results:

marlboro_man Dave-Navarro-Metrosexual
Typical IB Guy, Before Estrogen Treatment After Estrogen Treatment

For those of you who are non-technical, let me explain these result carefully. Quite simply, in layman’s terms, the additional estrogen turns IB guys into Hostages. Hostages with cooties. I think we can all appreciate the magnitude of the peril.

Comments»

1. thirdnews - September 13, 2013

What’s wrong with a guy who wants to sit next to you while having his nails done too? And geoff, why do you still hate women?

2. Cyn - September 13, 2013

Quite simply, in layman’s terms, the additional estrogen turns IB guys into Hostages. Hostages with cooties.

HAHA!

3. Retired Geezer - September 13, 2013

Cooties?
Doncha mean Cooters?

4. geoff - September 13, 2013

Coot*.*

5. Retired Geezer - September 13, 2013

I’m just happy that you got Cyn to come over here and comment.

6. Cyn - September 13, 2013

M’wah, R’Geezer.

I should try to stop by more often.

Also, glad to see Geoff hasn’t yet been washed away. Stay safe!!

7. skinbad - September 13, 2013

The one on the right does kind of look a bearded lady.

8. geoff - September 14, 2013

Also, glad to see Geoff hasn’t yet been washed away. Stay safe!!

I’m unusually clean, but have my toes dug into the topsoil.

So far, so good.

9. daveintexas - September 16, 2013

3 kid sisters. Married 30 years. 2 grown daughters.

I’ve been exposed to enough estrogen thanks.

thirdnews - September 16, 2013

Resistance is futile

10. Retired Geezer - September 16, 2013

*crosses eyeliner off Dave’s Christmas list*

11. OBF - September 16, 2013

Someone needs to tell me about bearded clams…male or female?

12. Sobek - September 16, 2013

Just Because.


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