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Looking for Time Travelers in All the Wrong Places January 3, 2014

Posted by geoff in News.

Dumbass research:

Researchers set out to wring any traces of time travelers out of the online world. Astrophysicist Robert Nemiroff and physics graduate student Teresa Wilson from Michigan Technological University released their findings with a paper titled “Searching the Internet for evidence of time travelers.”

The search for signs of time travelers involved scouring the Internet for prescient information. “Specifically, we search for content that should not have been known at the time it was posted,” the paper says.

Twitter, with its popularity and inability to backdate tweets, became a focus for the scientists. Here’s the disappointing part: They found no prescient tweets on either Comet ISON or Pope Francis. Absolutely zip. Which really just means that time travelers probably don’t like to use Twitter.

More likely Twitter caused the end of human civilization, so there’s no future technology to support time travel.

If you really want to find time travelers, just have GQ-list babes like Christina Hendricks say they’ll spend the night with anyone who can prove they’re from the future. Problem solved.


1. Jimbro - January 3, 2014

If, in the future, there are no longer heterosexual males, it may be wise to extend the offer of some hot males such as the underwear models favored by the Hostage women on HHD. Or a particularly handsome goat in the event of the coming of the Twelfth Imam.

2. geoff - January 3, 2014

I’m just going to focus on faking the evidence for Christina, thank you very much.

3. Cathy - January 3, 2014

Just wanna say I travel through time all the time. But I keep the speed of travel @ Reality.

4. Mark in NJ - January 3, 2014

If I can prove I’m from the past, can I get at least a motorboat?

5. punk - January 4, 2014

Because nobody from the future would know what not to do. They are all as stupid as bags of rocks, what with their knowledge of future events and the high likelihood that they are trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Because there couldn’t be any other time travelers out there trying to kill off the competition. Or people from the past trying to get rich and grab our modern technology and take it to the Roman empire, for instance.

6. Retired Geezer - January 4, 2014

I enjoy Time Travel movies. I never understand them and they are full of Plot Holes but I like them.

Deja Vu with Denzel Washington is a good one.

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