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How to Cut Airplane Boarding Times in Half January 12, 2014

Posted by geoff in News.

Load passengers from the rear, have them debark from the front.

It’s just that simple.


1. lauraw - January 12, 2014


2. geoff - January 12, 2014

The Lazy Approach: Tell them they’ll be debarking from the rear while loading them normally. After they’re in, tell them you lied.

The Schizoid Approach: Tell them you’re not sure which end of the plane they’ll be leaving from.

3. Retired Geezer - January 12, 2014

Tell them if they use their cellphone or act stupid they will leave last.

*just spitballin here*

4. Michael - January 13, 2014

That takes all the fun out of sitting in first class, with a drink already in hand, while the forlorn proletariat shuffles by desperately hoping to find some overhead bin space.

5. drakono - January 13, 2014

Taking on loads from the rear is unnatural. “Airports” aren’t “configured” for that purpose, at least.

6. drketedc - January 13, 2014

Make the jerks taking forever getting their bags from the overhead compartments wait until those who don’t have to do that get off first.

7. drketedc - January 13, 2014

I thought the word was ‘disembark’.

8. OBF - January 13, 2014

“To Serve Humans”

9. geoff - January 13, 2014

Taking on loads from the rear is unnatural.

You’re going to lose Andrew Sullivan’s support if you keep that up.

I thought the word was ‘disembark’.

Hey, “debark” is totally in the Oxford Dictionary. Totally.

10. Pupster - January 13, 2014

Had a short flight this morning and was entertained by a 4 year old boy on his first flight.


Those kind of kids on airplanes I like.

11. geoff - January 13, 2014

Those kind of kids on airplanes I like…

…to ask if they like gladiator movies.

12. Tushar - January 14, 2014

Southwest does loading better than anyone else. Disembarking cannot be made more efficient because humans are biped animals.

13. OBF - January 15, 2014

Tushar – you are being discriminatory towards single legged uni-peds.

14. Lipstick - January 17, 2014

I hate it when people sitting in the back put their carry-ons in the front bins, then when I get on there is no room. But, sure, that’s okay because it makes some lazy bastard’s life a little easier.

*light bulb goes on

Maybe I should booby trap the bags so that when they take them down the contents fall out from the hole that is now in the bottom.

Better yet, move the bags to an overhead in another part of the plane. so they can’t find them! You know, that is one thing that I could really see myself doing.

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