Innocent Bystanders

Employment Applications from Jihadis February 23, 2015

Pretty funny: D.C. Clothesline posts a few job applications from jihadis, per Marie Harf’s admonition. Here’s the first one:

Q. Does President Obama Love His Country? February 22, 2015

A. Not more than he loves himself.

When you see wrong, do you try to fix it? February 21, 2015

I think I could probably type out a sob story about why this man deserves your help. It would certainly be true, but I’m way too stoned on Valium and Hydrocodone to make any kind of sense so I’m going to just ask you to read the link and if you feel like it’s worth a buck or two (I sent him $5) to help a retiree fight the fascist state of New Jersey. Seriously, the government crushes people because they’ve got a bottomless pit of money that they steal from the taxpayers in order to use it against those same taxpayers for not worshipping the government tit.

Long story short New Jersey wants to send a 72 year old retired high school teacher to prison for a mandatory 3 1/2 years (no parole) for being in possession of a 300 year old single shot flintlock pistol. According to New Jersey it’s a felony, just like rolling around with a .50 Desert Eagle on your hip.

If we didn’t have that pesky 2nd Amendment does anybody believe that both the Republicans and the Democrats would be lining up to flush the rest of your Bill of Rights down the toilet?

The Batman Strikes Again February 20, 2015

An actual, real, no-BS obituary:

WINTER HAVEN – Stephen Merrill, 31, passes away February 12, 2015, due to a uppercut from Batman.

He was born January 28, 1984, the son of Larry Ronald Merrill and Bridgett I. Dotson Merrill. He was in retail sales at The Big Shop in Legoland, Florida.

Apparently they didn’t know the cause of death, so they decided to pay homage to his passion for comics.

Would’ve been cool if Michael could’ve seen this.

[H/T: CNET]

He should consider a career change February 18, 2015

I’m actually glad he didn’t get shot this time.

There comes a time in every young man’s life when he needs to seriously consider his career options.

Convoluted Korean Grotesquerie February 16, 2015

Here at IB, we feel that providing cautions against certain products is as important as providing recommendations. To that end, I counsel you to avoid this Korean movie with vigor and enthusiasm:

Moebius (2013)

Kim Ki Duk takes dysfunctional family to a whole new level with Moebius, a shocking dark comedy that makes Pieta look tame in comparison. Thrown into a hysterical rage, a woman attempts to castrate her husband in retaliation for his infidelity. When her efforts are thwarted, she storms into the next room, castrates their sullen teenage son and runs away. Overcome with guilt, the father searches for ways to help his son, from researching alternate methods of reaching climax to offering up his own male member for a transplant. Meanwhile, the son seeks the company of his father’s mistress.

Not a single word is spoken in Moebius. Kim Ki Duk chooses to tell this powerful, outrageous story through images, actions and raw emotions rather than dialogue. Disturbing, violent and at times absurdly funny, the film puts a new and painful perspective on the meaning of family and manhood, sexuality and genitalia, perversity and pleasure.

Yikes.

Another “White Man With a Grudge” Practicing Terrorism. Not. February 16, 2015

There was a thoroughly stupid article in The Nation last week. An article with an apples-and-oranges premise that it never bothered to support:

The Most Common Type of American Terrorist Is a White Man With a Weapon and a Grudge

So it is with some amusement that I read this intro to a Guardian article:

A man from Liverpool has been charged with attempting to obtain a chemical weapon, police have said. The 31-year-old was arrested following a joint raid by the north-west counter-terrorism unit (NWCTU) and Merseyside police.

Wait for it…

He was named as Mohammed Ammer Ali…

This incident isn’t “American,” but I think it underscores the pattern. When someone is practicing bona fide terrorism, putting your money on it being an Islamic extremist is a pretty safe bet.

Buyin’ Chemical Weapons ‘Cuz We Can’t Find Sh*t February 16, 2015

A lot of controversy over the New York Times’ story on the CIA’s secret chemical weapons purchases in Iraq. Some claim that it vindicates Bush, while others note that the weapons were built in the 1980’s, and so didn’t represent an active chemical weapons program at the time of the invasion.

What struck me, though, was that they bought all 400 warheads from one random guy. Just an Iraqi entrepreneur who happened to have a line on some old chemical weapons. Seems like a tip-of-the-iceberg scenario to me.

If we couldn’t find 400 warheads being hawked by some yahoo after 3 years of searching, how likely is it that we found everything?

It’s Always Fine When It’s Someone Else’s Money… February 14, 2015

…but when it’s your money, all of a sudden your values change. Take, for example, the kids at Cornell, who are being asked to pay a subsidy fee of $350 if they have their own insurance and don’t purchase the school’s $2350 insurance plan:

Students who do not opt in to the $2,352 per year plan must pay the $350 fee, which “most likely” won’t be covered by financial aid, according to campus newspaper The Cornell Review.
…
The recent announcements prompted 150 students to storm the school’s main administrative building as well as Skorton’s office.
…
Despite heavy opposition from the student body, it appears that Cornell is doubling down on the new policy. Cornell Vice President for Student and Academic Services Susan Murphy said in her own statement on Wednesday that “the fee is necessary to create a sustainable model for health services while also increasing accessibility and protecting student privacy.

“It is our responsibility to work together, to make sure everyone in our community who needs help gets it. That is a burden, and a benefit, we all share,” She said.

I have a little sympathy for these kids, who have never before been exposed to the “we’ll decide how you should spend your money” ethos of the libs. But I’m sure they’ll turn around at the next opportunity and vote for spending other people’s money, as if this never happened.

So, only a teeny bit of sympathy.