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Emma Sulkowicz Gives Me Hope June 6, 2015

Posted by geoff in News.

I’d just like to thank Emma Sulkowicz (the mattress/homegrown porn girl from Columbia) for changing my perspective on art and my lack of talent as an artist. You see, I had always thought that art had no place for a guy like me – I’m simply a disaster at drawing, painting, sculpting . . . even photography. Watching Sobek put up his dang art posts just added to my humiliation and feelings of inadequacy.

But now I know that even a no-talent guy like me has a place in the art world. All I have to do is carry a mattress around, and by golly, that’s something I can do and do well. Suck it, Sobek.

Just look at the reviews she got (from Wikipedia):

The art world responded with enthusiasm to Mattress Performance. Artnet cited it as “almost certainly … one of the most important artworks of the year,” comparing it to Ana Mendieta’s Untitled (Rape Scene) (1973) and Suzanne Lacy and Leslie Labowitz-Starus’s Three Weeks in May (1977). Performance artist Marina Abramović praised it. New York Times art critic Roberta Smith described it as “strict and lean, yet inclusive and open ended, symbolically laden yet drastically physical,” writing that comparisons to the Stations of the Cross and Hester Prynne’s scarlet letter were apparent. Jerry Saltz, art critic for New York Magazine, included it in his list of the best 19 art shows of 2014, calling “clear, to the point, insistent, adamant … pure radical vulnerability.”

I’ll admit that her reviews were somewhat better than mine, which have thus far consisted of my wife yelling, “Don’t get your sweat on that mattress and watch out for that lamp!” But I’m sure that’s just because I haven’t found my audience yet.

Or maybe it’s because I still don’t understand art. I have to confess that when I saw pictures of Ms. Sulkowicz and her mattress, it didn’t occur to me that it might be “symbolically laden yet drastically physical.” My thinking was more along the lines of a dorm relocation issue or a medical situation involving either narcolepsy or nymphomania. And honestly, my impression hasn’t changed since, so I’m apparently not experiencing much artistic growth.

But my limitations will soon be a thing of the past, because now there’s a new medium to work in: amateur porn. She has created a novel art genre wherein unattractive people have uninspired sex recorded with abysmal cinematography, yet receive great reviews. I can totally do that.

But this time, given the medium, I won’t say, “suck it, Sobek.”


1. geoff - June 6, 2015

Let me just say in all seriousness that if her claims are true, and consensual sex turned into abusive sex, then Nungesser is a pig and deserved everything he got and more. But to my mind, her willingness to make this video doesn’t strengthen her story, it detracts from her credibility. It really makes her seem unhinged.

2. Sobek - June 6, 2015

Can you rephrase all that in the form of a Petrarchan sonnet? You have some interesting visuals in that post.

3. Sobek - June 6, 2015

I would add that Emma gives hope to unattractive, crazy women everywhere, but actually it’s beer that does that.

4. lauraw - June 6, 2015


5. Tushar - June 7, 2015

Geoff, that woman sent a lot of messages to the german guy after the so called rape, some inviting him to fcuk her in the butt.

I think that the dude lost interest in her sometime later, and she wanted retribution.

6. geoff - June 7, 2015

Yeah, I think Cathy Young has had the right take on it.

In my college days we observed that it was the women who were less well-balanced who were amazing in bed. Uninhibited, experimentative, and aggressive. And totally not worth it.

Looks like Nungesser learned that lesson too late.

7. geoff - June 7, 2015

…which is not to say, of course, that well-adjusted women can’t be amazing in bed. Just saying that the crazy that some women bring to the bedroom is the same crazy that you have to live with outside the bedroom.

8. daveintexas - June 7, 2015

*shotguns a beer*

9. geoff - June 7, 2015

It has also occurred to me, in my more cynical moments, that Sulkowicz needed an art project to graduate but has no apparent artistic talent, so…

10. Retired Geezer - June 7, 2015

*buys Pilot ™ pens in 40 colors, to send to Mattress Girl (c).

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