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Breeding Incompetence Into the Human Race September 1, 2015

Posted by geoff in News.

Survival of the fittest. A means of strengthening a species so that it can improve its lot and withstand future adversity. It’s a vital principle that is threatened by the crutches that well-meaning scientists and technologists provide so that the weaker may thrive.

Well-intentioned perhaps, but they’re just making our species more vulnerable.

Today they’re threatening to do it again, enabling the weak with their latest development, so that bad genes are handed down to succeeding generations. I shudder to think of our children’s children, living in a world where these genes not only survive, but whose propagation is encouraged.

I’m speaking, of course, of eating ice cream:

Eating an ice cream cone is often a matter of timing. You need to snarf it down fast enough to avoid the sticky mess of melting frozen dairy product encroaching on your fingers, but slowly enough to stave off the painful brain-freeze phenomenon. If only science could help us out. Oh wait, it can.

Scientists from the University of Edinburgh in Scotland are looking into using a naturally occurring protein called BsIA to slow down the melting process in ice cream.

As someone who was traumatized in his youth by the near-tragic tale of Slow Joe and his peppermint ice cream cone, I have trained assiduously to excel at ice cream eating. Focusing on speed and accuracy, I have no use for a world where the slow may lap half-heartedly at their frozen confections.

I despair yet again for the fate of humanity.


1. Jimbro - September 1, 2015

1. Bowl + spoon + ice cream

2. ????

3. Profit!

2. lauraw - September 1, 2015

They used baccillus subtilis to create the protein. I read another article where i was said that none of the scientists who developed the experimental ice cream actually tasted any of it. But in the interview they said they are sure it probably tastes just fine.

Honestly? I don’t see this as a bennie to consumers, only to manufacturers and sellers, who won’t have to take such pains to keep it stored below 0 degrees F all the time.

Ice cream consumers don’t really complain about how ice cream is so melty. That’s one of the main pleasures, actually.

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