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“Experts” Ought to Opine With Their Mouths Closed October 21, 2015

Posted by geoff in News.

This is why I hate “experts.”

If you can’t stand the sound of someone’s chewing, does that person need to close his or her mouth? Or do you?

Experts say you do. Yes, some people have bad manners. But you can’t make everyone else change the way they eat just because it bothers you.

Wow. I was pretty sure that chewing with your mouth closed and trying to minimize eating noises was a societal norm (or at least it used to be). Elsewise, why did my noble mater beat on her children every night at dinner? So the people you “can’t…change” are really deviants from our cultural mores.

And sorry, I don’t think that chewing with your mouth closed is repressive or unteachable – it’s a minor, easily learned means of making what is essentially a pretty disgusting process (masticating food into a slurpable pulp) into a pleasant social occasion. But apparently “experts” think that being revolted by these sounds may even be a mental illness – misophonia.

I hope those experts never invite me to dinner.


1. Mark in NJ - October 21, 2015

Boy we sure agree on this one. The whole notion of “misophonia” implies that a normal person has no objection to hearing disgusting chewing noises and I don’t see how that could possibly be true.

Chewing with mouth open is the true pathology — “experts” in this case are FoS.

2. lauraw - October 21, 2015

I didn’t think it was about open-mouth chewing, but just *noisy* chewing.

Sometimes even when your mouth is closed, you are chewing something that is going to be noisy, no matter what. Like a live kitten, or a bat with really crunchy bones. You can’t help it. The screaming, the snapping of tiny ligaments, etc.

Some people are inexplicably disgusted by this.

Not my fault. Go get your heads examined, control freaks!!

3. geoff - October 21, 2015

*Feverishly draws up plans for noise cancellation helmet for laura*

4. lauraw - October 22, 2015

It would be far cheaper to just hand out earplugs to everybody else.

5. Lipstick - October 25, 2015

*farts at the table*

Hey, what are you looking at, freaks?!

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