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Editorial Guidance for Reuters September 25, 2016

Posted by geoff in News.
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Ummm… It’s not a “freak accident” if you’re trying to take a selfie with a python:

RAJASTHAN (REUTERS) – In a freak accident, a python attacked a man as a group of people tried to click a selfie with it in the Sirohi district of India’s northwestern Rajasthan state on Friday (September 23).

Freak accident? More like begging for it.

Comments»

1. veeshir - September 25, 2016

Maybe that was social commentary with poor sentence composition.

They could rewrite it as Freak gets in accident…

2. lauraw - September 25, 2016

Well, it certainly wasn’t on purpose.

3. geoff - September 25, 2016

A “freak accident” is supposed to be one of those one-in-a-million weird things that nobody could predict. Leaning in to a python to get a cool photo and being attacked is one of those one-in-five things that everybody can predict.

4. lauraw - September 26, 2016

SIGH. Dude, it’s me.

5. lauraw - September 26, 2016

…wait wait. One in five? Did you actually calculate that somehow? Show Sobek your work.

6. geoff - September 26, 2016

SIGH. Dude, it’s me.

Thought it might be, but the hammer, once drawn, cannot be resheathed until it tastes blood. [/Elric of Melnibone]

One in five? Did you actually calculate that somehow?

Well, it depends on what kind of python, of course.

7. lauraw - September 27, 2016

Well, it depends on what kind of python, of course.

Okay.

*examines photo for identification purposes.*

Alright, I believe I may have positively identified what type of python this is. The photo evidence seems to suggest that it is a pretty brownish one that bites.

How does this affect your calcs?

8. lauraw - September 27, 2016

please include the MOE or I’ll know you’re fibbin’

9. geoff - September 27, 2016

The photo evidence seems to suggest that it is a pretty brownish one that bites.

That evidence, plus the fact that the fellow is about 6 inches away from the python’s head, leads to the following calculation:

Python Attitude: 100% pissed

Python Strength Compared to Guy Holding the Head: 90% strong

Chance of Hitting Target: 100% within a foot

Karmic Justice Factor: Oh yeah.

So:

PA*PSCtGHtH*CoHT*KJF = 90% chance this guy gets what he deserves

10. geoff - September 27, 2016

This headline freaked me out:

Eels swim through flooded Vietnam hospital

but then I saw this reassuring statement:

Fish and eels often make their way into people’s homes during flooding, and catching them is a popular past time with many.

11. lauraw - September 27, 2016

Um. If one of our American hospitals flooded, even if it were one of the really excellent ones, I would not be willingly standing in the resulting mixture of riverwater + bodily fluids without hip waders on, under any circumstances whatsoever. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t catch or eat anything that swam by me.

Hospital floors. Not clean. No fucking way. Not by a long shot. I have seen (and said) too much.

12. geoff - September 27, 2016

It’s funny to me that they live with this sort of flooding so frequently that they can create a “popular past time” out of it. I have two words for the Vietnamese.

Sump pumps.

13. Mark in NJ - September 28, 2016

or try Sino-French Drains

14. Sobek - September 28, 2016

Geoff, you left out THAC0.


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