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Russia Hacking DNC Emails? Un-Possible! December 16, 2016

Posted by geoff in News.

The Democrats are up in arms over the alleged Russian hacks of DNC emails, treating it as a matter of national defense even though it really had nothing to do with national security (unlike Hillary!’s transgressions). But I say to you that this entire situation is the stuff of fantasy, since it is absolutely impossible for it to have happened.

“Impossible!?!” you exclaim, “How so?”

Let us take a trip down memory lane, all the way back to May 29, 2009:, when President Obama announced his plan to promote cybersecurity.

The task I have described will not be easy.  Some 1.5 billion people around the world are already online, and more are logging on every day.  Groups and governments are sharpening their cyber capabilities.  Protecting our prosperity and security in this globalized world is going to be a long, difficult struggle demanding patience and persistence over many years.
So a new world awaits — a world of greater security and greater potential prosperity — if we reach for it, if we lead.  So long as I’m President of the United States, we will do just that.  And the United States — the nation that invented the Internet, that launched an information revolution, that transformed the world — will do what we did in the 20th century and lead once more in the 21st.

Ergo, due to President Obama’s diligence in commissioning reports and forming committees to combat cyberattacks, it is simply impossible for a foreign power to have hacked the DNC.

And now we fast forward to October 22, 2012, where President Obama mocks those who consider Russia to be a significant threat:

Whereupon we see that it can’t be Russia who posed a threat to the integrity of modern elections – that threat was resolved 30 years ago. The man who was later elected president said so.

Today we see the president in full bluster, as he promises to retaliate against Russia (How? By releasing hacked emails from Putin?). But it’s satisfying in a sad way to watch him rail against an enemy he claimed didn’t exist, which exploited a vulnerability he claimed he’d fix.


1. lauraw - December 16, 2016

Not to mention, if you’re really going to go tit for tat with a foreign government, are you really going to openly tell the press about it like this?

This seems, bullshitty.

2. geoff - December 16, 2016

By “retaliation,” he probably means he’s not going to send Putin an iPod with all of his speeches on it.

3. lauraw - December 16, 2016

Or maybe he’ll invite Putin to an important speech, then sasstalk him from the podium. That would be such a bitchy burn.

4. ChrisP - December 16, 2016

Andrew McCarthy sums it up pretty well, here:

“Hack The Election”?
Expose Democrat E-Mails that show them to be assholes?

5. geoff - December 16, 2016

It shouldn’t really matter whether it was Russia who obtained the emails, or Wikileaks, or Innocent Bystanders, or the Snausages. Back when they thought pretty much everything came from Wikileaks, it wasn’t enough to invalidate the election. Somehow changing the source (and thus the intent) changed the election’s validity.

At least in the DNC’s minds.

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