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Pondering Parsley and Points South January 17, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
5 comments

Ace linked to this alarming article:

Doctors ask that you please not put parsley in your vagina

Wellness warriors seem to be obsessed with telling women to stick random things into their vaginas.

And the latest piece of bizarre advice suggests sticking parsley up there can help induce your period.

But what the mag fails to mention is that putting parsley into vaginas can be extremely dangerous and in some cases, fatal.

But what if there was another good reason for placing parsley in one’s nether regions? Like, say, if one was playing Penn & Teller’s Parsley Game?

You all may not recall that game, which is described in their book How to Play With Your Food:

The parsley game is very simple: when Parsley, that useless biennial bastard nephew of the carrot family, is served on your plate as a garnish, you sneak it onto the plate of one of your dinner partners without being seen by the recipient. It’s as easy as that, but, like chess, the possibilities are endless… The first few times you play the game, you’ll win, but then your pals will catch on that you’re playing and it will get harder… After a while, no one will turn around for anything.

Sounds kind of pedestrian, until they describe the intensity of the game. Apparently when they were on the road, all of the crew would be hunkered over their plates, defending their turf without blinking. It got to the point where at one session, a car crashed through the front window of the restaurant, and nobody looked up from their plate.

I think in that scenario, it’s an obvious choice to risk death by using the hoohah as a staging platform for the eventual offensive toward victory.

I myself played many times against my wife, losing every time because I’m so absent-minded. At the end of one meal she started her victory jig, because I’d been parsleyed for pretty much the entire meal. But looking at my plate, there was no evidence of her win.

Apparently, not thinking there was parsley on my plate at the outset, I just ate everything and didn’t notice it.

I’m not sure if that was a tie or what, but after that we stopped playing because she thought I was so pitiful.

Put Some Heebie in Your Jeebies January 15, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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What to do for fun in Taiwan?

Well, you could maybe try raising a pet:

Yeah, that’s just terrifying. Just a hunch, but I’m guessing he’s single.

“I’m Saving You From Depression!!” he ejaculated. January 14, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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Via Instapundit, we have good news for guys and gals:

New Research: Semen May Actually Cure Depression in Women

A study led by University of Albany Psychology Professor Gordon Gallup found that among females having sex, those women who did not use condoms showed fewer signs of depression, leading to speculation that when semen is absorbed through the vagina, it may have an effect on women’s moods.

Now the scientist in me says that this is a complete crock.

But the man in me (phrasing!?!) says that the scientist should shut the hell up.

Because now we fellas can claim that sex is therapy, and that lack of sex is psychologically dangerous.

Which means it’s time for some good old preventive medicine.

You Can Take My Chair From My Cold Dying Posterior January 14, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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Bad news to someone who’s sitting here writing this:

Sitting For Too Long Could Increase Your Risk of Dying – Even if You Exercise

Are you sitting down? Then you may want to stand up to read this, as research from the US has found that sitting for too long could increase your risk of dying – even if you exercise.

The study found that both total sedentary time and sedentary duration were associated with a higher risk of death. The greatest risk was found in those who spent more than 12.5 hours a day being sedentary and when bouts persisted for longer than ten minutes at a time.

Can’t sit for more than 10 minutes at a time? Are the internet end times coming?

Well, while I can see that being sedentary isn’t doing anybody any good, health-wise, there’s a major caveat to the study:

…activity data was only collected for one week…

Oh.

I think I’ll remain seated for the moment.

Charity the Conservative Way January 14, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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Once again, a socialist completely misunderstands the views of conservatives:

Want Proof Americans Secretly Love Socialism? Look at GoFundMe

The GoFundMe model harnesses a compassionate social conscience you’d otherwise think was in danger of extinction


We like giving to each other, whether or not it really works. A dyed-in-the-wool conservative hostile to the very idea of universal health care — “because why should I pay for someone else’s treatment” — seems to have no problem throwing 50 bucks to a co-worker’s aunt who can’t afford chemotherapy….

To me, all this suggests that regardless of our political affiliation, we share a collectivist spirit; we want to pool our assets to accomplish what we consider necessary.

Aaaannnndddd, while he is correct that conservatives are very generous on a private level, he doesn’t have the foggiest notion as to why that’s completely consistent with conservatism (and libertarianism), limited government, and capitalism.

I know I don’t have to explain it to readers here, but my mansplainability is looking for an outlet, so here it is anyway.

Yes, charity is good. We can all agree on that. What we (conservatives/libertarians/DaveinTX) disagree with is that charity is good when it is:

  1. Involuntary
  2. Administered by a central organization
  3. Written into law such that stopping or reducing spending is difficult/impossible
  4. Directed towards controversial causes
  5. Expanding government

So we don’t “share a collectivist spirit.” We share a humanitarian spirit.

Which we exercise in our current capitalist system quite handily, thank you.

A Little Jazz Edumacation January 11, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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Now on to music that I know a little bit more about. Or, about which I know a little more. Not a huge fan of Vox, but I am a big fan of John Coltrane, and this Vox video does a great job of explaining the music theory behind what is probably his greatest work, Giant Steps.

Voca-hunh? January 9, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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Speaking of music I know little about, it’s time for a Vocaloid vid:

A little long and definitely a WTF? type video, but . . .”It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.”*

Somewhat of an explanation from the YouTube comments:

These characters are from a singing software (VOCALOID) that, well, lets you make the singers sing. Not all the time do these singers have a personified character for their voices however. But they are given a name.

  1. The one singing (orange girl) is Kizuna Akari. She’s a relatively new Vocaloid.
  2. The purple haired girl is Yuzuki Yukari. She’s related to Akari because their voices are provided by the same company.
  3. The girl behind the piano with yellow hair and a white ribbon is Kagamine Rin. She’s famous among the Vocaloids because she’s one of the earliest japanese Vocaloids ever created since 2007.

Secondly, what the song is about. I’m not very good at japanese, but Akari is mentioning a lot of japanese sound effects or actions at the start and throughout the song. For example, ‘gorogoro’ means rolling/tumbling (which you can see her portray in the video) and ‘pikapika’ means shining. ww is short for ‘warawara’ which is used to imply laughter (like lol in english) and so on. I don’t know what she’s singing at the end because as I stated before, I’m not very good at japanese.

*Old joke from American Bandstand

Re: The AOC Dancin’ Thing January 9, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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Like many others, I doubt many conservatives gave a hoot about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s dance video. If anyone did have an opinion, I suspect it was more like:

We’d rather she was still dancing on rooftops in Boston than babbling in Congress in DC.

I Drew This January 7, 2019

Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Family, Handblogging, Mufuckin Pie!, Sidebar Flag Bullshit.
8 comments

Granted it’s not quite as good as Sobek’s thing

Funny thing is my kid doesn’t even smoke

bitches

Spudder the Cat R.I.P. January 7, 2019

Posted by Retired Geezer in Family, Heroes.
5 comments

A little over 12 years ago, back in November 2006 there was a feral cat that was hanging around Camp Geezer. She had been living on her own for at least a year but I wanted to give her a warm place to sleep that year since winter was coming.

I started leaving food out for her and talking nicely whenever I saw her.

One day she just walked over and plopped down on her back and looked up at me.

spudder21

spudder23

We were buddies from then on.

Michael was the person who suggested I call her Spudder.*

(*Pictures not centered in his honor)

Here’s one of the first posts about Spudder at IB. Couldn’t believe it got 50 comments.

https://michaelscomments.wordpress.com/2006/11/16/spudder-the-idaho-barn-cat/

Lipstick would always ask me about her whenever we would email so I started a goofy blog for Spudder, mostly to keep Lipstick updated.

spudmagazine2

Here’s a link in case you want to read some posts, just click on the Archive links on the left side to go to different months.

https://spudder.wordpress.com/2006/12/

A few months after we got her, I took her to the vet to get spayed. They called back after they had shaved her belly and told me that she was already spayed. Apparently she was a pet that someone dumped in the field by my house.

Fast forward to now… She stopped eating on Thursday so we took her to the vet on Friday. The prognosis was that she had pneumonia and had a few days to live. We took her home to let her die in peace.

She would drink water but she didn’t eat anything for 4 days. We decided it was time.

I was bawling like a baby when we went to the vet but Mrs. Geezer took charge.

I’d like to imagine Spudder curled up on Lipstick’s lap with Michael standing there making a wisecrack.

Hunh. Who’da Thunk? January 6, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.
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“China, China, China” – Acting US SecDef Succinctly Summarizes World’s Biggest Threat

I Drew This January 5, 2019

Posted by Sobek in News.
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