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Pondering Parsley and Points South January 17, 2019

Posted by geoff in News.

Ace linked to this alarming article:

Doctors ask that you please not put parsley in your vagina

Wellness warriors seem to be obsessed with telling women to stick random things into their vaginas.

And the latest piece of bizarre advice suggests sticking parsley up there can help induce your period.

But what the mag fails to mention is that putting parsley into vaginas can be extremely dangerous and in some cases, fatal.

But what if there was another good reason for placing parsley in one’s nether regions? Like, say, if one was playing Penn & Teller’s Parsley Game?

You all may not recall that game, which is described in their book How to Play With Your Food:

The parsley game is very simple: when Parsley, that useless biennial bastard nephew of the carrot family, is served on your plate as a garnish, you sneak it onto the plate of one of your dinner partners without being seen by the recipient. It’s as easy as that, but, like chess, the possibilities are endless… The first few times you play the game, you’ll win, but then your pals will catch on that you’re playing and it will get harder… After a while, no one will turn around for anything.

Sounds kind of pedestrian, until they describe the intensity of the game. Apparently when they were on the road, all of the crew would be hunkered over their plates, defending their turf without blinking. It got to the point where at one session, a car crashed through the front window of the restaurant, and nobody looked up from their plate.

I think in that scenario, it’s an obvious choice to risk death by using the hoohah as a staging platform for the eventual offensive toward victory.

I myself played many times against my wife, losing every time because I’m so absent-minded. At the end of one meal she started her victory jig, because I’d been parsleyed for pretty much the entire meal. But looking at my plate, there was no evidence of her win.

Apparently, not thinking there was parsley on my plate at the outset, I just ate everything and didn’t notice it.

I’m not sure if that was a tie or what, but after that we stopped playing because she thought I was so pitiful.


1. Jimbro - January 17, 2019

Vagina Parsley? News to me!

2. jam2 - January 18, 2019

Parsley Pessaries
All the rage!

3. Retired Geezer - January 18, 2019

It’s important not to combine the two games.

4. Abu Qalam Al-Hindi - January 18, 2019

A good husband you are, eating whatever your wife serves. Be good yo her, though; this makes it all so easier to slip other undesireables should she feel the need arise.

I told my wife that thanks to my life insurance policy, I’m worth more dead thN alive. She said it doesn’t matter. She beeds someone to srive her around and the kids aren’t old enough yet to do so. So I have some value yet!

5. Abu Qalam Al-Hindi - January 18, 2019

Ah hah! Behold my title: henceforth I am Thread Killer!

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