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You’re Gonna Wanna Stay at Least 4.5 Feet Away From a Nesting Penguin July 5, 2020

Posted by geoff in News.

From the News You Can Use Department, we can now relay to you the appropriate social distance from a nesting penguin:

Nature is a brutal place, so during brooding, chinstrap and Adélie penguins are reluctant to leave their eggs unguarded in the nest—even to relieve themselves. But one also does not wish to sully the nest with feces. So instead, a brooding penguin will hunker down, point its rear end away from the nest, lift its tail, and let fly a projectile of poo — thereby ensuring both the safety of the eggs and the cleanliness of the nest.

So what’s the range of a loaded penguin?

Tajima and Fujisawa argue that the angle of ejection is not always horizontal, especially if the breeding environment is in a higher location—or if the penguin is standing on a rock while defecating, for instance.

Using Newton’s equations, they calculated that the maximum flying distance of penguin poo is 1.34 meters, or 4.39 feet.

There. I’m sure I’ve saved at least one person’s shoes. And dignity.

My work is done here.


1. Sobek - July 5, 2020

File this under “News that would have been more helpful yesterday, Geoff.”

2. lauraw - July 5, 2020

LOL! I’m so stealing that one for the Quip Vault.

Yoink! mine mine mine

3. Jimbro - July 5, 2020

Answering the question of “What’s worse than being spit on by a llama?”

4. Bunk Strutts - July 5, 2020

Has anyone explained this to the penguins yet?

5. geoff - July 5, 2020

Oh man.

6. Sobek - July 5, 2020

Wow, Bunk.

7. geoff - July 5, 2020

The first time I saw your comment, I read it as “bunk,” with a lower case “b.”

That was disturbing.

8. Sobek - July 5, 2020

Uh, no. Not what I meant.

9. Retired Geezer - July 6, 2020

So what’s the range of a loaded penguin?

That made me laugh.

That reminds me of “Pony” that used to hang out here, on the couch.

10. Heterochromatic Hot Links | Tacky Raccoons - July 12, 2020

[…] The Arc Of The Penguin. The Range Of The Penguin. The Aim Of The Penguin. [h/t Geoff] […]

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