It Was a Dead and Lifeless Blog…

It’s fun, if your life is empty and shallow and devoid of meaning, to go visit old favorites on the web. Like, say, The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

The Grand Prize this year was:

A lecherous sunrise flaunted itself over a flatulent sea, ripping the obsidian bodice of night asunder with its rapacious fingers of gold, thus exposing her dusky bosom to the dawn’s ogling stare.

Stu Duval, Auckland, New Zealand

This one from 2020 was only a Dishonorable Mention in the Science Fiction category, but it was like the author had looked into my soul:

“The quantum flux field of the post-Einsteinian hyperdrive has gone asymptotically and we are in danger of approaching singularity as described by the Schrodinger equations!” cried Captain Quirke, having no clue what he said, only knowing it sounded sciencey, secretly crossing his fingers behind his back and hoping there were no physicists reading because he didn’t want any pedantic letters saying it was nonsense.

Sue Doenim, England