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Man You Muhfuckers Are Depressing the Shit Outta Me March 25, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Ducks, Economics, Gardening, Handblogging, Heroes, Law, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Religion, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
52 comments

Stop that STOP THAT! This is supposed to be an ‘appy occasion.

And how did I get nominated for the last post here ever? Geoff has been working his skinny butt off posting and such.

Ain’t right. Ain’t right.

 

Yes, this post is going to have a “theme”.

So. 2006 or thGFYerebouts. I was 47 years old. Geezer was 75, Peelie was 13 and LauraW was in county banging a tin cup on the bars and yelling “FILTHY SCREWS FILTHY SCREWS”.  If you never heard this stuff it’s all true email me I have documents and stuff.

I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t do this for a living you know.

In 2006 I had no idea how this worked. I had a kid in college and one on the way there.  I was just working and making jokes here and at Ace’s and getting to know you all.  And we’d get in comment threads and make absurd bitey faces at each other and joke around.  Then this, ace called it “The Splitters”.  So we did more stupid stuff and monkeys stopped flinging poop long enough to stare at us as if we were raving lunatics or something.  And then this amazing thing happened. I met some of you, most of you.  I actually came to places and saw your dorky faces and in person for reals.. met you.  You were already my friends then you became my in person touching hugging friends.  And every one of you every damn one of you hugged me and loved me and made me feel ten feet tall, bulletproof and invisible.  Thank you special people for the extra touches you know who you are and I won’t say it out loud here Geoff.

 

Hey Dave how about we all go some place across the country and meet each other for reals?

list
This place, this actual place made it be possible for me to meet you all.  To be friends and to love you. All your cares, all my cares. Fake internet friends became real friends. (thanks Al Gore).

Somehow it meant our personal lives became part of each other.  I am a part of you all. The goofy part, or maybe tummy gas. I’m still a part of you all.  Might be stinky. In a way I’d be proud if I was the stinky part.

OK then, I love you idiots. And I say idiots knowing I’m the idiot and you’re not I just have to drop that stuff at you because otherwise I’d gete sniffly and shit and no way no how am I gonna do that, fuck that.

I miss ya Harrison. You were one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever known who called me a friend. I miss Michael too.  He was a big dumb jerk but he was also my friend and he loved me and you all (and fuck cancer seriously fuck cancer, pineapple/sideways).  Oddly I miss them both in much the same way except I liked Harrison.

But I do need to say something very important that’s been on my heart for a long long time.

Michael, if you’re reading this (don’t you have better things to do?), I’m really sorry about the guest towels.  That was so wrong of me.  I feel bad about that, especially the part about me planting them in your pillowcase before I went home.

That was wrong of me.

Remember Pirate Talk?

tarnation

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Michael, Geezer, for bringing people into my life that I never would have met. I never would have known them, never would have loved them like I do. Your gift to all of us is so fine. You thought you were making a silly thing. Geezer thought it was a joke, a funny.  Thank all of you for inviting me into your lives, your homes your personal space without freaking out.. much.

What you made was friendships. That’s what you did and that’s the legacy of the Splitters.

How Dave Feels About Centering Pictures

hay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We people are the people we people care about. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. That’s what y’all did and you had no damn idea even that’s what you were doing. Like usual.

I love you idiots.

This place was a place. Better than ice cream. And ice cream kicks ass.

 

Y’all are better than ice cream and I still need you all in my life.

dis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATED

mf

Bulletproof Balloons February 27, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Ballistics, Gardening.
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Thanks to Adrienne in Nevada because she keeps up on this for me.

 

Number One with a Bullet February 12, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Ballistics, Man Laws.
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Surprising facts from Bill Whittle:

 

For Michael January 24, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Ballistics, Crime, Ducks, Handblogging, History, Honor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Philosophy.
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the white

The flowers showed up 15 minutes before the service started. I think it would have driven Michael nuts, so that’s something. He was a bit of a planner and organizer.

My favorite Michael story with Cathy was about the first IB gathering, a Superbowl party at their home in Ohio. They were planning food for this big get together and for some reason they took my chili recipe from a post seriously.

That recipe was total bullshit. I loaded it up with insane hotness that no human would consume. Habanero, too many jalapenos, Tabasco, diesel fuel and some nuclear waste (even Tushar would have said “dude”).  I was just funning with everybody.  Anyway I was on my way to their house and Cathy called me and wanted to ask if she could tone down the habanero. I was completely confused.. tone down the what? For what?

And she said “your chili recipe”.

My chili recipe? What chili recipe? “From the blog post”.

A moment while driving on the interstate in Ohio.. then I remembered.  “You MADE THAT SHIT?”

Yes, it seemed a little hot so we were wondering if we could cut some of the peppers. I laughed.. “YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT IT WAS A JOKE. DON’T EAT THAT, IT’S PURE GASOLINE IT WAS A JOKE. RUN! CALL THE FD, GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER OUT IT’S TOXIC WASTE”

She said something about Michael wanting to make it for me (which could be a clue).

I think he actually liked supremely hot sauces more than me, he kept pimping that Marie whatever nuclear stuff all the time.

Anyway we all laughed about it and I remember drinking a beer with him later and telling him “I can’t believe you even made that shit” and all the while he kept insisting it seemed legit to him.

That was kind of our friendship. I loved tweaking him and seeing when I could get a rise out of him. Sometimes he’d take the bait, sometimes not. But we always laughed about it after. I’m gonna miss that.

These pics are purposefully not centered. Out of respect for the friendship he gave me. Which was huge.

the note

Shoot or Don’t Shoot? January 9, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Ballistics, Heroes.
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Eye opening video.

 

 

 

Freedom December 30, 2014

Posted by Retired Geezer in Ballistics, Music.
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Here’s a rocking song to get your head bobbing. Plus it will remind Dave of his time in the slammer.

 

Tree Trimming Fail May 5, 2014

Posted by Retired Geezer in Ballistics.
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Pro Tip: Undercut the branch first.

Warning: Strong Language at the end.

 

What’s in Your Wallet? November 28, 2013

Posted by skinbad in Ballistics, Family, Food, Love, Mufuckin Pie!.
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P1070479L. to R.

  • Dual threat–blueberry/cherry mashup. I know nothing about the missing pie(ce).
  • Traditional canned pumpkin–if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m not.
  • Pumpkin from scratch. It looks like a piece would keep you alive for a week and clean your colon.
  • Cherry. This keeps the wife happy.
  • Coconut cream. I put a spell on you. Because you’re mine.
 
Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.

!!! November 27, 2013

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Ballistics, Crime, Economics, Food, Heroes, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Pop Culture, Sex, Sports, Stupid shit, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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Pecan_pie,_November_2010

What’s Better than Going to the Range? October 18, 2013

Posted by Sobek in Ballistics.
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Playing hooky from work to do it.  That is all.

(more…)

I Am In Charge of Meat Fire On Saturday October 7, 2013

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Food, Nature Shit, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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This is gonna be GREAT!

 

How_To_Start_A_Barbecue_Fire-1md (336x448)

 

Eerybody just chill.  I got this.

 

Second Look at the Book Club? October 3, 2013

Posted by skinbad in Ballistics, Family.
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Update and graphical representation of Sobek and son after the shooting range.

“Now we move on to the khopesh.”

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