Flying Monkeys September 28, 2013Posted by Retired Geezer in Commenting Tips, Crime.
For Lauraw and Mrs. Peel.
For Geoff and Skinbad.
What Michael Wants, Michael Gets September 5, 2013Posted by BrewFan in Ballistics, Crime, Sex, WTF?.
Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K (and in Utah) August 8, 2013Posted by skinbad in Crime, Entertainment, Law, Religion, slutbags.
I believe Russ said something about Utah being a Florida-in-training after the great human meat thermometer caper.
I’m beginning to wonder if he’s on to something.
You’ve probably heard of Miss Riverton a.k.a. Miss Demeanor. She was arrested for “pranking” people by throwing homemade bombs at them. I guess that’s actually a felony for the blond bombshell. When asked for a statement she simply said she had no interest whatsoever in that “world peace shit.”
Meanwhile, down in Moab, we also have one of those firefighter/police rivalries that got a little out of hand.
- Firefighter sleeps with police officer’s wife
- Police officer catches them and pistol whips firefighter
- Firefighter goes home and stabs himself
- Police officer tries to get into operating room to “finish the job”
And finally, on a happier note, we have Elders Harrelson and Snipes doing a little missionary “street contacting.” The shirt-and-tied young men asked to play a little ball while doing some missionary work in Texas. One of the lads was on a state champion basketball team and will play wide receiver for a local college after his mission. I would agree, as some have pointed out, that this rim may not be regulation height, but still, let the hijinks begin:
“I think the body has begun to cool.” January 4, 2013Posted by skinbad in Crime, Law, WTF?.
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“Wow” on this story. Just wow. Granted, haven’t really heard the other side’s story, but, holy cow. This 80-year-old man’s wife dies and police are searching his cupboards for her pain medication within ten minutes of her death. Someone needs firing if this is remotely close to what happened.
Online Shopping in Real Life December 29, 2012Posted by Retired Geezer in Art, Crime.
Anybody get as frustrated as I do with the Online Shopping Experience?
The Follicle As Statement Of Personal Power -lauraw December 2, 2012Posted by anycomments in Ballistics, Crime, Ducks, Gardening.
In the Middle East, the moustache makes the man.
You are not taken seriously there, without a serious moustache. A full, lush crumb-catcher makes you look older and wiser. Those who cannot grow a proper soup-strainer are turning in greater numbers to artificial enhancement.
Tulunay says he now performs 50 to 60 mustache implants per month on patients who largely hail from the Middle East and travel to his country as “medical tourists.”
Several other surgeons told CNN they have seen an increasing number of patients seeking the procedure, with most patients ranging in age from 30 to 50.
The procedure is known as follicular unit extraction and involves removing follicles from areas of the body with dense hair growth and implanting them in the desired mustache area.
Status is important, and ‘looking the part’ is especially so in other parts of the world. Any side-issues that affect others’ perception of our status become areas of vital self-improvement.
Asked my husband to grow a moustache a decade ago and I think it looked good on him back then. He grows a nice full ‘stache.
Shaving it off did not impair his social status, as far as I know. Well, no. I mean, I don’t really know.
Shit, he could have a moustache again right now. I couldn’t tell you with any certainty.
Honestly I don’t think I’ve actually looked straight at him in over a year.
I still like him and intend to keep him if I can.
slice of life November 26, 2012Posted by digitalbrownshirt in Crime, Family, Personal Experiences, Stupid shit, WTF?.
I came home from lunch Sunday and found my youngest son wearing a pair of these:
Me: “Um, what are they?” (in my head, it sounded like WTF?)
Oldest son: “His gay shoes.”
Youngest son: “They’re for running.”
Me, after a pause: “Like outside? You wear them in public?”
Youngest son: “Yeah, they’re good for circulation.”
He’s a diabetic, so circulation’s a big deal, but I kind of felt like he checkmated me with the circulation comment, because I was ready to give him a bad time on the goofy shoes. Apparently they’re kind of a big deal, but I’d never heard of them before yesterday.
I feel like I get older everytime I talk to that kid.
Hitler Finds out about the Debate October 28, 2012Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, History, Humor.
This video has some pretty clever lines.
That Fracking Thing . . . July 19, 2012Posted by skinbad in Crime, News, Stupid shit, Women Ranting, WTF?.
I think it might really be doing something to the water. Duchesne County is a rural area of Utah that has experienced a bit of an oil boom. I’m not sure if “Mother of the Year–Chemical Dependency Division” voting has already taken place, but Duchesne County is going to be disproportionally represented. How about a quick parenting quiz in case any new parents out there are Googling for appropriate responses to life’s little challenges with children.
1. A 30-year-old man sends your 13-year-old daughter an iPhone so that she can take nude pictures of herself to send to him. You should
a. Call the Police
b. Take a picture of a Great Dane’s balls and send it to the man and then call the police
c. Smash the phone, mail it back, and then call the police
2. Your nine-year-old son is irritating you by cleaning your living room. You should show your irritation by
a. Not letting him clean anything else
b. Cleaning it yourself
c. Sending him outside for awhile
Pro-Parent Tip–The Ds aren’t appropriate. Rule of Thumb: If your actions are likely to cause people to wish God would send just one more cleansing flood, try to think of another option.
Real Men of Genius June 19, 2012Posted by skinbad in Crime, News.
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(real men of genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Oversized Scrap Metal Thief. *
(Mr. Oversized Scrap Metal Thief)
Any two-bit guttersnipe can filch a step-ladder from someone’s carport, but it takes real talent to hang four 12-foot aluminum beams out of the back window of your Grand Prix.
(You’re an unbalanced load)
Leaving the construction site in broad daylight you drive down the road desperately holding on to your stolen goods while watching out for street signs and power poles.
(Thank God for automatic transmission)
You didn’t even kill any cyclists or pedestrians in your mad dash to the recycling center.
And even though you told some nosy Nellies to mind their own beeswax, they were still able to call the police and describe your car between uncontrollable fits of laughter.
(Stupid cell-phone narcs)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, easy buck guy, because you can’t re-sell the “coppers” you’re going to be around for the next few months.
(Mr. Oversized Scrap Metal Thief)
*You should click it for the picture