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The Form of the Destructor Has Been Chosen January 27, 2016

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Blogroll, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Gardening, Heroes, Honor, Law, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.


I couldn’t help it, it just popped in there.

Crow Trees January 25, 2016

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Ducks.

Only posting this because I liked the way the picture turned out.



Hard to enjoy your breakfast burrito when the crows are roosting 20 yards away.

Burglars for Gun Control December 14, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Man Laws.

Car Tattles on Hit and Run Driver December 9, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Entertainment.
1 comment so far

Reminds me of those things that some fools people put in their cars to monitor their bad driving habits.

Here’s the hilarious video:


“There was no accident,” Cathy Bernstein stressed to the emergency response dispatcher who had called her.

Her car begged to differ.

“Attention!” the automated call from the black Ford Escort’s vehicle emergency system had said after detecting a crash and calling emergency number 911.

“A crash has occurred in a Ford vehicle. Press 1 at any time for location information or press 0 to speak with vehicle occupants.”

A recording of the call obtained by local station WPBF features Bernstein, a 57-year-old from Port Lucie, Florida, telling the dispatcher (repeatedly) that there hadn’t been any accident and that no, she hadn’t been drinking.

Nor had she hit a guardrail, she said; another car had pulled out in front of her, but she had no idea why her car would call in a nonexistent accident.

The dispatcher was a bit skeptical.

Read the whole thing.

She was actually involved in two hit and run accidents.

Alcohol may have been involved.

Crap Tree 2015 December 5, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Blogroll, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Handblogging, Heroes, History, Honor, Humor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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For Michael and the rest of you knuckleheads that I love.

May you all have a Merry Christmas.

Please do note the shotgun shell lights you could still smell the cordite on em if you were here.  IF.




Here is a cute puppy November 22, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Crime, Handblogging, Humor, Love, Mufuckin Pie!, News, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.

It’s not great content but it is cute content




What is this? November 19, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, News.

IMG_5085.jpgHaven’t seen this in quite a while. When was the last time you saw one?


Nice Little Bike Ride October 23, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Handblogging.

Remind me to never try this:

What the Fox Did September 8, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Gardening.

Mrs. Geezer and I went camping up in the mountains near a lake. There is a lot of wildlife in the area; deer, raccoons, porcupines, bear and foxes. Recently a bear has been spotted in the campground. He broke into a refrigerator and ate a pizza, came back later and ate another one. One evening while heading for the dumpster to deposit some trash, I saw a big dog with a white tip on its tail.

“Hey, all dogs should be on leashes, why is this dog running loose?”

Closer inspection revealed it to be a fox, who ran away.

The next morning I noticed that both of our dog’s chew bones were outside the little fence that we have around our trailer.

Apparently the fox had gotten inside the fence and had stolen the bones. He marked one of the bones by pooping on it.

Here you see the proximity of the bones to the trailer.


The bone in the foreground has been claimed by pooping.


You can also see our headless dummy, Bambi. We take her head inside at night but during the day she waves at all the cars going by, via a clever system of pulleys and string. Notice Bambi’s mascot, a flamingo that I painted with Boise State colors. Yeah, we’re in BSU country, as you can see by the little trailer parked next door.

How to WIN! August 23, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Man Laws.

… at Rock Paper Scissors.

It’s Science, beyotches!

Pooping Cyclist Causes Fire July 23, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Gardening.

Wait, what?

Yep… he tried to burn his toilet paper, you know, for The Environment, and set the hillside on fire.

BOISE — Bureau of Land Management officials say a cyclist who couldn’t hold it is responsible for starting a fire that scorched more than 73 acres in the Boise foothills.

According to BLM spokeswoman Carrie Bilbao, a man was cycling in the foothills when he stopped to defecate in a ravine. Afterwards, the man tried to get rid of the waste by lighting his toilet paper on fire. The man apparently tried to bury the burning waste to extinguish it, but an ember spread to nearby dry grass.

“I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go,” Bilbao said.

Well, at least he owned up to the deed.

Bilbao said the man came forward and told the BLM he might be responsible for the blaze. The man’s story matched “evidence” found at the scene, according to investigators.

Protip: Don’t be burning toilet paper in dry grass on a hot day.


Pin the Tail on the Donkey July 3, 2015

Posted by Retired Geezer in Crime, Politics.

Yep, Bill Whittle.