Handblogging | Innocent Bystanders

Merry Merry Happy Happy December 25, 2021

Posted by Pupster in Ballistics, Blogroll, Ducks, Family, Handblogging, Love, Lurkers, Mufuckin Pie!, Music, Philosophy, Pop Culture, Science, Sex, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting.
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May your nogs be eggy, your puddings figgy, and may your trash cans overflow from castaway Christmas containers and wrappings.

I Drew This January 7, 2019

Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Family, Handblogging, Mufuckin Pie!, Sidebar Flag Bullshit.
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Granted it’s not quite as good as Sobek’s thing

Funny thing is my kid doesn’t even smoke

Y’ALL December 29, 2018

Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Ducks, Fashion, Godzilla, Handblogging, Man Laws, News, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Women Ranting.
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So my youngest got me these simple things. They clip on my glasses. They came in a case and when I first looked at em I said “why would cheap clip on sunglasses come in a case?”

Well as it turns out they are not cheap clip on sunglasses. They help people who can’t see some colors see them. In case you can’t see, there is supposed to be a smile in that pic. I can’t see it, can you?

Anyway for the first time in my life I can see red and green. It’s amazing. I don’t have the words to describe it well but I get more why we like Christmas. It’s kinda of prettier than I thought it was, and I did the Crap Tree for 20 years not knowing how good it really looked.

Dave Stuff March 2, 2018

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Crime, Ducks, Entertainment, Handblogging, History, Law, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit.
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I try to use descriptive, catchy post titles.

Anyway the weather was nice last Sunday so I decided it was time to power wash the deck area and hang up some lights to make the place all cheery and shit.

Before

I know, gross right? Spider webs, bugs, leaves, dirt

After

Much better.

I know all this stuff gets made in China (or somewhere in Asia). Christmas lights are not particularly complex so if there was a manual I ignored it like I do complicated stuff where I really should RTFM but still won’t.

But the vendor in it’s relationship with Amazon insisted that I get this information via the following email, including a an explanation of why these lights might not be exactly the “white warmness” I might have been expecting, AND a warranty and a sincere promise to resolve any customer dissatisfaction accompanied with a plea to please not rat them out on the item page.

I realize their English is much better than my Mandarin but these things are just so fun.

First, an Important notice regarding the warm white color (as advertised)

A friendly greeting, an interesting explanation of why the product might not be exactly what I ordered but yet “It is not wrong item sent if you receive the color difference version”

It is definitely warm white if you compare it with white version, or maybe Slublog.

Then some handy instructions for troubleshooting.

If bulb burns out, replace bulb. It will turn on.

And then a promise to resolve any problem but please don’t bust our balls with bad remark on item page.

They did say please and kindly so were I disappointed with the warmth of whiteness I would reach out to them before posting an irate customer thing. Besides I never do that cause everybody looks like an asshole when they do.

Besides, I think they’re quite warm and I am satisfied.

Thank you, MZD8391 Customer Service Team!

Two Centered Pictures September 26, 2016

Posted by skinbad in Ballistics, Food, Handblogging, Nature Shit, Personal Experiences, Technology, Women Ranting.
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I know I’m behind the times, but the times for me have a-changed. The IT guy took my trusty Dell doorstop away and replaced it with this:

It’s an Intel NUC. Kind of cool, I think. When is the last time you used the DVD player in your computer?

And furthermore: A neighbor called Saturday afternoon and asked if we wanted a hindquarter of an elk. My thrifty wife got very excited. Of course we do. That was about 3 p.m. We finished the kitchen Clorox wipe-down about 9 p.m. Elk are big mofos.

I should have weighed it before starting. It had to weight 80 lbs. This was a new experience for me–thanks youtube. Also, a neighbor I called and asked if I could borrow his knife sharpener came over and helped me bone it (huhhuhuh). New respect for butchers gained–my hands and back are stiff, but there is a lot of meat in the freezer and on the shelf (we bottled a canner load).

Bored Daughter + Compliant Pooch = March 15, 2016

Posted by skinbad in Crime, Family, Fashion, Handblogging.
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Crap Tree 2015 December 5, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Blogroll, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Handblogging, Heroes, History, Honor, Humor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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For Michael and the rest of you knuckleheads that I love.

May you all have a Merry Christmas.

Please do note the shotgun shell lights you could still smell the cordite on em if you were here. IF.

Here is a cute puppy November 22, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Crime, Handblogging, Humor, Love, Mufuckin Pie!, News, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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It’s not great content but it is cute content