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Deep Thoughts on Listening to the “Oldies” Station on the Way to Work October 12, 2017

Posted by skinbad in History, Music, Philosophy, Sex, slutbags.
8 comments

Has any woman in the history of the world ever really said:

“Come on dudes, let’s get it on!”?

Old Classic vs Uptown Funk November 21, 2016

Posted by Retired Geezer in Family, Philosophy.
17 comments

 

Rehab May 8, 2016

Posted by Retired Geezer in Music, Philosophy.
1 comment so far

Catchy little tune.

I want to make one of those Rumba bass boxes cause DinTX told me that the Bass players get the wimmins.

Mind Boggling Tiles May 2, 2016

Posted by Retired Geezer in Gardening, Philosophy.
4 comments

My friend Adrienne sent this to me. Beats me how he does this.

 

Crap Tree 2015 December 5, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Blogroll, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Handblogging, Heroes, History, Honor, Humor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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For Michael and the rest of you knuckleheads that I love.

May you all have a Merry Christmas.

Please do note the shotgun shell lights you could still smell the cordite on em if you were here.  IF.

 

 

 

Here is a cute puppy November 22, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Crime, Handblogging, Humor, Love, Mufuckin Pie!, News, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
3 comments

It’s not great content but it is cute content

 

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Journalists Are Dumb People November 17, 2015

Posted by anycomments in Gardening, Honor, Law, Philosophy.
11 comments

Journalists are basically hair models whose mouths spew Democrat party tickertape. We would get better reportage if we replaced any one of these styrofoam heads with a person randomly chosen from any fast food line in America.

As her many respondents pointed out, this person works for CNN. Which even with their ratings is still considered The Media. And neither she nor any of her colleagues covered the Beirut bombings on CNN. So she indicts her own employer and coworkers for this oversight in coverage.

Sadly, many people also took the time to comb through her twitter account for any mention of the attacks in Lebanon, and it too was empty of any references to those events. So she further indicted herself as a “racist.”

The reason the word racist is in scare-quotes is because both the Lebanese and the Syrian people, are white people. Which destroys her whole premise plus…she should know that, shouldn’t she? If you’re accusing people of being afraid of other people because of their race, shouldn’t you do a little double-check? Or is she just so certain that these people can’t be white because they don’t look anything like the CNN newsroom?

This is Fascinating June 27, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Crime, Economics, Handblogging, History, Literature, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Philosophy, Politics, Sex, Sitemeter, slutbags, Stupid shit, Technology, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, WTF?.
5 comments

And a little unnerving. A real time map of global cyber attacks.

Man You Muhfuckers Are Depressing the Shit Outta Me March 25, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Ducks, Economics, Gardening, Handblogging, Heroes, Law, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Religion, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
70 comments

Stop that STOP THAT! This is supposed to be an ‘appy occasion.

And how did I get nominated for the last post here ever? Geoff has been working his skinny butt off posting and such.

Ain’t right. Ain’t right.

 

Yes, this post is going to have a “theme”.

So. 2006 or thGFYerebouts. I was 47 years old. Geezer was 75, Peelie was 13 and LauraW was in county banging a tin cup on the bars and yelling “FILTHY SCREWS FILTHY SCREWS”.  If you never heard this stuff it’s all true email me I have documents and stuff.

I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t do this for a living you know.

In 2006 I had no idea how this worked. I had a kid in college and one on the way there.  I was just working and making jokes here and at Ace’s and getting to know you all.  And we’d get in comment threads and make absurd bitey faces at each other and joke around.  Then this, ace called it “The Splitters”.  So we did more stupid stuff and monkeys stopped flinging poop long enough to stare at us as if we were raving lunatics or something.  And then this amazing thing happened. I met some of you, most of you.  I actually came to places and saw your dorky faces and in person for reals.. met you.  You were already my friends then you became my in person touching hugging friends.  And every one of you every damn one of you hugged me and loved me and made me feel ten feet tall, bulletproof and invisible.  Thank you special people for the extra touches you know who you are and I won’t say it out loud here Geoff.

 

Hey Dave how about we all go some place across the country and meet each other for reals?

list
This place, this actual place made it be possible for me to meet you all.  To be friends and to love you. All your cares, all my cares. Fake internet friends became real friends. (thanks Al Gore).

Somehow it meant our personal lives became part of each other.  I am a part of you all. The goofy part, or maybe tummy gas. I’m still a part of you all.  Might be stinky. In a way I’d be proud if I was the stinky part.

OK then, I love you idiots. And I say idiots knowing I’m the idiot and you’re not I just have to drop that stuff at you because otherwise I’d gete sniffly and shit and no way no how am I gonna do that, fuck that.

I miss ya Harrison. You were one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever known who called me a friend. I miss Michael too.  He was a big dumb jerk but he was also my friend and he loved me and you all (and fuck cancer seriously fuck cancer, pineapple/sideways).  Oddly I miss them both in much the same way except I liked Harrison.

But I do need to say something very important that’s been on my heart for a long long time.

Michael, if you’re reading this (don’t you have better things to do?), I’m really sorry about the guest towels.  That was so wrong of me.  I feel bad about that, especially the part about me planting them in your pillowcase before I went home.

That was wrong of me.

Remember Pirate Talk?

tarnation

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Michael, Geezer, for bringing people into my life that I never would have met. I never would have known them, never would have loved them like I do. Your gift to all of us is so fine. You thought you were making a silly thing. Geezer thought it was a joke, a funny.  Thank all of you for inviting me into your lives, your homes your personal space without freaking out.. much.

What you made was friendships. That’s what you did and that’s the legacy of the Splitters.

How Dave Feels About Centering Pictures

hay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We people are the people we people care about. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. That’s what y’all did and you had no damn idea even that’s what you were doing. Like usual.

I love you idiots.

This place was a place. Better than ice cream. And ice cream kicks ass.

 

Y’all are better than ice cream and I still need you all in my life.

dis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATED

mf

For Michael January 24, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Ballistics, Crime, Ducks, Handblogging, History, Honor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Philosophy.
31 comments

the white

The flowers showed up 15 minutes before the service started. I think it would have driven Michael nuts, so that’s something. He was a bit of a planner and organizer.

My favorite Michael story with Cathy was about the first IB gathering, a Superbowl party at their home in Ohio. They were planning food for this big get together and for some reason they took my chili recipe from a post seriously.

That recipe was total bullshit. I loaded it up with insane hotness that no human would consume. Habanero, too many jalapenos, Tabasco, diesel fuel and some nuclear waste (even Tushar would have said “dude”).  I was just funning with everybody.  Anyway I was on my way to their house and Cathy called me and wanted to ask if she could tone down the habanero. I was completely confused.. tone down the what? For what?

And she said “your chili recipe”.

My chili recipe? What chili recipe? “From the blog post”.

A moment while driving on the interstate in Ohio.. then I remembered.  “You MADE THAT SHIT?”

Yes, it seemed a little hot so we were wondering if we could cut some of the peppers. I laughed.. “YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT IT WAS A JOKE. DON’T EAT THAT, IT’S PURE GASOLINE IT WAS A JOKE. RUN! CALL THE FD, GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER OUT IT’S TOXIC WASTE”

She said something about Michael wanting to make it for me (which could be a clue).

I think he actually liked supremely hot sauces more than me, he kept pimping that Marie whatever nuclear stuff all the time.

Anyway we all laughed about it and I remember drinking a beer with him later and telling him “I can’t believe you even made that shit” and all the while he kept insisting it seemed legit to him.

That was kind of our friendship. I loved tweaking him and seeing when I could get a rise out of him. Sometimes he’d take the bait, sometimes not. But we always laughed about it after. I’m gonna miss that.

These pics are purposefully not centered. Out of respect for the friendship he gave me. Which was huge.

the note

Feel Good Minute December 16, 2014

Posted by Retired Geezer in Man Laws, Philosophy.
1 comment so far

Here’s a nice minute to make you smile:

I didn’t think tortoises were that smart or coordinated.

Interview with G*d September 10, 2014

Posted by Retired Geezer in Philosophy, Religion.
3 comments

Obligatory God post for this year.