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Snizzle in the Hizzle May 17, 2017

Posted by skinbad in Nature Shit, News, Stupid shit, WTF?.
8 comments

Or Sneezy in the Heezy? Whatever. It’s snowing here this morning. I’ll send it along to my friends to the east with my compliments.image

Poultry in Motion–New Addition to Touching Farewells March 7, 2017

Posted by skinbad in Ballistics, Ducks, Love, slutbags, Stupid shit, Women Ranting.
3 comments

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

“What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that.”

“She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”

Screw You, Kyler

 

 

Anyone Collecting “Why Trump Won” Examples? November 14, 2016

Posted by skinbad in History, Politics, Stupid shit.
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I wonder how many volumes it would run. University of Virginia PROFESSORS (not students, well, not just students) want the president of the college to not quote TJeff in emails. You can imagine why.

Stuff Jefferson Said

Where’s the expert on Stuff Jefferson Said when you need him? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

 

 

Poof! Goes Yet Another Promise October 14, 2016

Posted by skinbad in Stupid shit, Women Ranting.
1 comment so far

And what promise would that be? The promise of, I guess, forty-five years of employment as a cocktail waitress.

The click-bait baited me and I read it. Here’s the title: I Was A Trump Taj Mahal Cocktail Waitress — Here’s Why He Shouldn’t Be President

I thought, OK, what have we got? Groping? Lewd behavior? Sex favors for high rolling friends of The Donald?

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Update and WTH is wrong with people? June 10, 2016

Posted by digitalbrownshirt in News, Personal Experiences, Stupid shit, WTF?.
4 comments

So 5 days later my knee is still stiff, but the wound scabbed over nicely. Unfortunately it’s positioned right on the part that bends so when I do bend my knee it cracks the scab. Super. At least it’s not infected. I had an appointment with my neurosurgeon on Monday and he told me to leave it uncovered as often as possible just to get it to dry out. Obviously that’s not why I was seeing him, but I figured as long as I was there he’d give me advice on how to treat it. He also told me to keep it clean and use some triple antibiotic on it too. The usual stuff that mom used to tell me growing up.

I posted on my Facebook account about what happened that night. Apparently the owner of the pit bull knows somebody on my FB list and found out I had the audacity to complain about her letting her dog get loose. She’s one of those 20-somethings with 3,000 friends on her list. I didn’t see any of my friends on her list so I’m not sure exactly how she found out anything at all. I didn’t lie or embellish anything in my post. I was actually nicer about her than most people would be if they were bleeding on their living room floor while talking about it. She sent me a private message through FB saying she was offended that I was talking about her on FB. As if I’m some friend of hers in junior high school. It didn’t go well after that.

I explained to her that she didn’t get to be offended unless she was missing part of her knee and had been set back in her recovery by a month. I couldn’t even wear long pants for several days because the wound would stick to my trousers. When I slept I had to cover it to keep my sheets from getting blood stained, yet she was offended. She said my dog was aggressive too because when I talked to her Riley was snapping at her pit bull through the fence. You know, the pit bull that just attacked us 5 minutes earlier. Apparently she didn’t know dogs have memories that go beyond 5 minutes. Then she got down to the heart of the matter which was I said she was a bad dog owner and now “everybody in town” knows what happened. She said it only happened once and she’d lived there 3 years without incident (like that matters for some reason). Then she blamed it on her visiting mother who left the garage door open because her daughter didn’t warn her that her pit bulls could escape if the door wasn’t shut. I was trying to not get angry, which is a new thing for me, but I couldn’t help thinking she was trying to say it was my fault for walking my dog in my own neighborhood. At least the part she wasn’t blaming her mother for was my fault.

I decided to switch tactics in order to win her over with logic. We went over what happens if the police and animal control gets involved. Nothing good for the dog, and I don’t want that on my conscience, but it would be worse for her, so she’d better grow up pretty fast because our conversation was starting to head in the wrong direction. That seemed to sober her up some. Then when I mentioned having to have x-rays taken she really started back tracking, because “Surprise!”, she can’t afford to pay for my medical expenses, which meant I’d have to deal with her home owners insurance, which I suspect would frown on her 4 pit bulls. I thought she had 3, but it was actually 4, which I think is one more dog than local laws allow. I’m going to see if my insurance will cover the x-rays. I get them to check my hardware, but I don’t normally get them this soon. I just got them early to see if the screws were actually ripping out of my vertebrae. Luckily it only felt like they were ripping out.

It seemed her main issue was that people would think she was a bad dog owner because of something that happened “one” time. I explained to her that if I left one of my guns out and a visiting child picked it up and blew their brains out, wouldn’t I be a bad gun owner even though it only happened “one” time? She said that was extreme, but I think my argument is valid. Both guns and dogs can be dangerous when not handled safely and it only takes once to cause a lifetime of regret. This can’t happen again. The next time it might be someone even more physically weak than I am like a young child or an elderly person. Certainly it’s a likely scenario that the next person might not have a dog big enough to defend it’s owner. What if it’s somebody that’s carrying? That’s very common here and if I’d been carrying that day I’m afraid things would have turned out badly for her dog. For a moment I was in fear for my safety, I nearly let go of my dog’s leash to protect myself. A few years ago this would have been little more than an irritant, but today it’s a much bigger deal.

I think our conversation ended ok. I don’t know if she started to see things from my point of view or if she just realized she was talking her dog into a needle and herself into a lawsuit. I really don’t want either of those things to happen, but I also want to make sure that she knows you don’t get to be offended when you do something like this to another person. She’s probably not a terrible person. Most people get defensive when they’re called out for their mistakes, but what matters is how you respond to your mistakes.

Sorry for the ramble. I woke up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. My knee is killing me. My back is killing me. My ribs and stomach are bruised from bouncing on the sidewalk. The medication helps, but it doesn’t make it go away.

Healthy living June 5, 2016

Posted by digitalbrownshirt in Family, Personal Experiences, Stupid shit.
6 comments

Apparently trying to be healthy disagrees with me. I decided to take my German Shepherd for a walk. She’s not the most social animal in the world, but she is obedient and HIGHLY protective. About a block from our home we passed a house with 3 medium sized dogs in the backyard. Two of them were pit bulls and the third a mixed breed of similar size. One of the pits decided to engage my dog so it got out of it’s yard, ran down the street and tried biting my dog on the neck. Riley, our GSD, kept herself between the pit and myself while trying to latch onto any part of the other dog that would fit into her jaws, so the entire dog in other words. The pit bull realized it had made a mistake and broke off the engagement and ran back home at which point Riley sat down next to me and gave me the “Why are you laying on the ground crying like that?” look. Looking at all three of their dogs I would guess that the guilty party is a very young dog that hasn’t learned to mind it’s own business yet.

During their little debate she yanked me around and I got pulled down into the concrete sidewalk, all 300 lbs of me. I had a leather training lead and a prong collar on her since I’m trying to control her habit of pulling hard on the leash. Mostly it’s working. I think the knee is the only real damage, but I’m seeing my neurosurgeon tomorrow and will mention it to him. We might need more x-rays to see if it hurt my new hardware in my back because I can tell you right now, that’s going to hurt in the morning. Hopefully it’s all good because I don’t want anything to happen to the other dog just because the owner made a mistake. I talked to them about it and explained the importance of keeping control of larger dogs for their safety and the safety of others. It could have turned out much worse than it did.

The Continuing Adventures of Super Whiz Tech Guy March 20, 2016

Posted by skinbad in Personal Experiences, Stupid shit, Technology.
3 comments

Alternate title: Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born?

I have a laptop that has to be six or seven years old. It did a good job for a long time, then I assumed the battery was dying a year or so ago, which was no big deal. It was mostly just an extra machine for whatever web-browsing or homework activity was going on in the house. As long as it was plugged in, it was fine. Slowly, slowly it went downhill, to where it wouldn’t even power on. I had thought about trying to replace the battery. One of my daughters had an iPod a few years ago and when the battery died I watched some intricate, watchmaker, type videos on replacing the battery, but, of course, Apple said to send it in and they would replace it for $50 or some outlandish sum. I never did send it in.

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The Form of the Destructor Has Been Chosen January 27, 2016

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Blogroll, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Gardening, Heroes, Honor, Law, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
3 comments

kingcake.png

I couldn’t help it, it just popped in there.

Crap Tree 2015 December 5, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Blogroll, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Handblogging, Heroes, History, Honor, Humor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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For Michael and the rest of you knuckleheads that I love.

May you all have a Merry Christmas.

Please do note the shotgun shell lights you could still smell the cordite on em if you were here.  IF.

 

 

 

I Made This November 18, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Handblogging, News, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting.
6 comments

choppah

This is Fascinating June 27, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Crime, Economics, Handblogging, History, Literature, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Philosophy, Politics, Sex, Sitemeter, slutbags, Stupid shit, Technology, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, WTF?.
5 comments

And a little unnerving. A real time map of global cyber attacks.

Man You Muhfuckers Are Depressing the Shit Outta Me March 25, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Religion, Gardening, Philosophy, Personal Experiences, Ducks, Heroes, Commenting Tips, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Economics, Women Ranting, Man Laws, Sex, Law, News, Handblogging, Nature Shit, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Ballistics, WTF?, Mufuckin Pie!.
70 comments

Stop that STOP THAT! This is supposed to be an ‘appy occasion.

And how did I get nominated for the last post here ever? Geoff has been working his skinny butt off posting and such.

Ain’t right. Ain’t right.

 

Yes, this post is going to have a “theme”.

So. 2006 or thGFYerebouts. I was 47 years old. Geezer was 75, Peelie was 13 and LauraW was in county banging a tin cup on the bars and yelling “FILTHY SCREWS FILTHY SCREWS”.  If you never heard this stuff it’s all true email me I have documents and stuff.

I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t do this for a living you know.

In 2006 I had no idea how this worked. I had a kid in college and one on the way there.  I was just working and making jokes here and at Ace’s and getting to know you all.  And we’d get in comment threads and make absurd bitey faces at each other and joke around.  Then this, ace called it “The Splitters”.  So we did more stupid stuff and monkeys stopped flinging poop long enough to stare at us as if we were raving lunatics or something.  And then this amazing thing happened. I met some of you, most of you.  I actually came to places and saw your dorky faces and in person for reals.. met you.  You were already my friends then you became my in person touching hugging friends.  And every one of you every damn one of you hugged me and loved me and made me feel ten feet tall, bulletproof and invisible.  Thank you special people for the extra touches you know who you are and I won’t say it out loud here Geoff.

 

Hey Dave how about we all go some place across the country and meet each other for reals?

list
This place, this actual place made it be possible for me to meet you all.  To be friends and to love you. All your cares, all my cares. Fake internet friends became real friends. (thanks Al Gore).

Somehow it meant our personal lives became part of each other.  I am a part of you all. The goofy part, or maybe tummy gas. I’m still a part of you all.  Might be stinky. In a way I’d be proud if I was the stinky part.

OK then, I love you idiots. And I say idiots knowing I’m the idiot and you’re not I just have to drop that stuff at you because otherwise I’d gete sniffly and shit and no way no how am I gonna do that, fuck that.

I miss ya Harrison. You were one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever known who called me a friend. I miss Michael too.  He was a big dumb jerk but he was also my friend and he loved me and you all (and fuck cancer seriously fuck cancer, pineapple/sideways).  Oddly I miss them both in much the same way except I liked Harrison.

But I do need to say something very important that’s been on my heart for a long long time.

Michael, if you’re reading this (don’t you have better things to do?), I’m really sorry about the guest towels.  That was so wrong of me.  I feel bad about that, especially the part about me planting them in your pillowcase before I went home.

That was wrong of me.

Remember Pirate Talk?

tarnation

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Michael, Geezer, for bringing people into my life that I never would have met. I never would have known them, never would have loved them like I do. Your gift to all of us is so fine. You thought you were making a silly thing. Geezer thought it was a joke, a funny.  Thank all of you for inviting me into your lives, your homes your personal space without freaking out.. much.

What you made was friendships. That’s what you did and that’s the legacy of the Splitters.

How Dave Feels About Centering Pictures

hay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We people are the people we people care about. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. That’s what y’all did and you had no damn idea even that’s what you were doing. Like usual.

I love you idiots.

This place was a place. Better than ice cream. And ice cream kicks ass.

 

Y’all are better than ice cream and I still need you all in my life.

dis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATED

mf