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Snizzle in the Hizzle May 17, 2017

Posted by skinbad in Nature Shit, News, Stupid shit, WTF?.
8 comments

Or Sneezy in the Heezy? Whatever. It’s snowing here this morning. I’ll send it along to my friends to the east with my compliments.image

Update and WTH is wrong with people? June 10, 2016

Posted by digitalbrownshirt in News, Personal Experiences, Stupid shit, WTF?.
4 comments

So 5 days later my knee is still stiff, but the wound scabbed over nicely. Unfortunately it’s positioned right on the part that bends so when I do bend my knee it cracks the scab. Super. At least it’s not infected. I had an appointment with my neurosurgeon on Monday and he told me to leave it uncovered as often as possible just to get it to dry out. Obviously that’s not why I was seeing him, but I figured as long as I was there he’d give me advice on how to treat it. He also told me to keep it clean and use some triple antibiotic on it too. The usual stuff that mom used to tell me growing up.

I posted on my Facebook account about what happened that night. Apparently the owner of the pit bull knows somebody on my FB list and found out I had the audacity to complain about her letting her dog get loose. She’s one of those 20-somethings with 3,000 friends on her list. I didn’t see any of my friends on her list so I’m not sure exactly how she found out anything at all. I didn’t lie or embellish anything in my post. I was actually nicer about her than most people would be if they were bleeding on their living room floor while talking about it. She sent me a private message through FB saying she was offended that I was talking about her on FB. As if I’m some friend of hers in junior high school. It didn’t go well after that.

I explained to her that she didn’t get to be offended unless she was missing part of her knee and had been set back in her recovery by a month. I couldn’t even wear long pants for several days because the wound would stick to my trousers. When I slept I had to cover it to keep my sheets from getting blood stained, yet she was offended. She said my dog was aggressive too because when I talked to her Riley was snapping at her pit bull through the fence. You know, the pit bull that just attacked us 5 minutes earlier. Apparently she didn’t know dogs have memories that go beyond 5 minutes. Then she got down to the heart of the matter which was I said she was a bad dog owner and now “everybody in town” knows what happened. She said it only happened once and she’d lived there 3 years without incident (like that matters for some reason). Then she blamed it on her visiting mother who left the garage door open because her daughter didn’t warn her that her pit bulls could escape if the door wasn’t shut. I was trying to not get angry, which is a new thing for me, but I couldn’t help thinking she was trying to say it was my fault for walking my dog in my own neighborhood. At least the part she wasn’t blaming her mother for was my fault.

I decided to switch tactics in order to win her over with logic. We went over what happens if the police and animal control gets involved. Nothing good for the dog, and I don’t want that on my conscience, but it would be worse for her, so she’d better grow up pretty fast because our conversation was starting to head in the wrong direction. That seemed to sober her up some. Then when I mentioned having to have x-rays taken she really started back tracking, because “Surprise!”, she can’t afford to pay for my medical expenses, which meant I’d have to deal with her home owners insurance, which I suspect would frown on her 4 pit bulls. I thought she had 3, but it was actually 4, which I think is one more dog than local laws allow. I’m going to see if my insurance will cover the x-rays. I get them to check my hardware, but I don’t normally get them this soon. I just got them early to see if the screws were actually ripping out of my vertebrae. Luckily it only felt like they were ripping out.

It seemed her main issue was that people would think she was a bad dog owner because of something that happened “one” time. I explained to her that if I left one of my guns out and a visiting child picked it up and blew their brains out, wouldn’t I be a bad gun owner even though it only happened “one” time? She said that was extreme, but I think my argument is valid. Both guns and dogs can be dangerous when not handled safely and it only takes once to cause a lifetime of regret. This can’t happen again. The next time it might be someone even more physically weak than I am like a young child or an elderly person. Certainly it’s a likely scenario that the next person might not have a dog big enough to defend it’s owner. What if it’s somebody that’s carrying? That’s very common here and if I’d been carrying that day I’m afraid things would have turned out badly for her dog. For a moment I was in fear for my safety, I nearly let go of my dog’s leash to protect myself. A few years ago this would have been little more than an irritant, but today it’s a much bigger deal.

I think our conversation ended ok. I don’t know if she started to see things from my point of view or if she just realized she was talking her dog into a needle and herself into a lawsuit. I really don’t want either of those things to happen, but I also want to make sure that she knows you don’t get to be offended when you do something like this to another person. She’s probably not a terrible person. Most people get defensive when they’re called out for their mistakes, but what matters is how you respond to your mistakes.

Sorry for the ramble. I woke up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. My knee is killing me. My back is killing me. My ribs and stomach are bruised from bouncing on the sidewalk. The medication helps, but it doesn’t make it go away.

Crap Tree 2015 December 5, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Blogroll, Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Economics, Handblogging, Heroes, History, Honor, Humor, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, News, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
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For Michael and the rest of you knuckleheads that I love.

May you all have a Merry Christmas.

Please do note the shotgun shell lights you could still smell the cordite on em if you were here.  IF.

 

 

 

Here is a cute puppy November 22, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Commenting Tips, Crime, Handblogging, Humor, Love, Mufuckin Pie!, News, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Women Ranting, WTF?.
3 comments

It’s not great content but it is cute content

 

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(more…)

This is Fascinating June 27, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Crime, Economics, Handblogging, History, Literature, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Philosophy, Politics, Sex, Sitemeter, slutbags, Stupid shit, Technology, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, WTF?.
5 comments

And a little unnerving. A real time map of global cyber attacks.

Man You Muhfuckers Are Depressing the Shit Outta Me March 25, 2015

Posted by daveintexas in Religion, Gardening, Philosophy, Personal Experiences, Ducks, Heroes, Commenting Tips, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, Economics, Women Ranting, Man Laws, Sex, Law, News, Handblogging, Nature Shit, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Ballistics, WTF?, Mufuckin Pie!.
70 comments

Stop that STOP THAT! This is supposed to be an ‘appy occasion.

And how did I get nominated for the last post here ever? Geoff has been working his skinny butt off posting and such.

Ain’t right. Ain’t right.

 

Yes, this post is going to have a “theme”.

So. 2006 or thGFYerebouts. I was 47 years old. Geezer was 75, Peelie was 13 and LauraW was in county banging a tin cup on the bars and yelling “FILTHY SCREWS FILTHY SCREWS”.  If you never heard this stuff it’s all true email me I have documents and stuff.

I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t do this for a living you know.

In 2006 I had no idea how this worked. I had a kid in college and one on the way there.  I was just working and making jokes here and at Ace’s and getting to know you all.  And we’d get in comment threads and make absurd bitey faces at each other and joke around.  Then this, ace called it “The Splitters”.  So we did more stupid stuff and monkeys stopped flinging poop long enough to stare at us as if we were raving lunatics or something.  And then this amazing thing happened. I met some of you, most of you.  I actually came to places and saw your dorky faces and in person for reals.. met you.  You were already my friends then you became my in person touching hugging friends.  And every one of you every damn one of you hugged me and loved me and made me feel ten feet tall, bulletproof and invisible.  Thank you special people for the extra touches you know who you are and I won’t say it out loud here Geoff.

 

Hey Dave how about we all go some place across the country and meet each other for reals?

list
This place, this actual place made it be possible for me to meet you all.  To be friends and to love you. All your cares, all my cares. Fake internet friends became real friends. (thanks Al Gore).

Somehow it meant our personal lives became part of each other.  I am a part of you all. The goofy part, or maybe tummy gas. I’m still a part of you all.  Might be stinky. In a way I’d be proud if I was the stinky part.

OK then, I love you idiots. And I say idiots knowing I’m the idiot and you’re not I just have to drop that stuff at you because otherwise I’d gete sniffly and shit and no way no how am I gonna do that, fuck that.

I miss ya Harrison. You were one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever known who called me a friend. I miss Michael too.  He was a big dumb jerk but he was also my friend and he loved me and you all (and fuck cancer seriously fuck cancer, pineapple/sideways).  Oddly I miss them both in much the same way except I liked Harrison.

But I do need to say something very important that’s been on my heart for a long long time.

Michael, if you’re reading this (don’t you have better things to do?), I’m really sorry about the guest towels.  That was so wrong of me.  I feel bad about that, especially the part about me planting them in your pillowcase before I went home.

That was wrong of me.

Remember Pirate Talk?

tarnation

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Michael, Geezer, for bringing people into my life that I never would have met. I never would have known them, never would have loved them like I do. Your gift to all of us is so fine. You thought you were making a silly thing. Geezer thought it was a joke, a funny.  Thank all of you for inviting me into your lives, your homes your personal space without freaking out.. much.

What you made was friendships. That’s what you did and that’s the legacy of the Splitters.

How Dave Feels About Centering Pictures

hay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We people are the people we people care about. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. That’s what y’all did and you had no damn idea even that’s what you were doing. Like usual.

I love you idiots.

This place was a place. Better than ice cream. And ice cream kicks ass.

 

Y’all are better than ice cream and I still need you all in my life.

dis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATED

mf

Goodbye, Farewell, Amen March 23, 2015

Posted by BrewFan in Ducks, Handblogging, Heroes, History, News, Sex, Terrorist Hemorrhoids, WTF?.
8 comments

gfa

Shortly after 9/11/2001 I started reading Best of the Web Today by James Taranto. I really wasn’t interested in blogs but I was hungry for information about the new world we had all just been plunged into. James had links on his blog to other websites, one of which was to a blog called Allahpundit. I remember the tag line was something like, “an irreverent look at the Muslim world”. This intrigued me enough to click it and I was amazed at what I found; truly funny satire, brilliantly written. The comments were fun, and one of the commenters was a guy who had a blog called Ace of Spades HQ. This, then, would become my blogging destiny. There was no way to know that out of this fun read would grow friendships, both virtual and real. Over the many years since past I’ve had the distinct honor and privilege of getting to know some of the smartest, funniest, most compassionate people I have ever been blessed to know. Like a true family we’ve had good times and bad times, sharing and caring, and even the occasional dust-up.

I’m sure Geezer is going to share what inspired him to start this blog, so I’ll leave that to him. I’m just glad he did. With regard to how this blog should be ‘ended’, I believe the course that should be charted is to close comments, but leave this blog for posterity. There’s nothing quite like a stroll down memory lane and especially a thoroughfare lined with such beautiful memories as this one has.

I haven’t been participating much the last few years. Mostly lurking here and H2. I want everybody to know, though, that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you knuckleheads. I wish I was independently wealthy so I could fly around the country and hug you guys. Maybe cop a feel or two, but mostly hug. That would be most awesome.

Finally, I lift my glass and toast the finest kind. You all. And I lift my eyes and look for the finest kind of angels; Michael, Patty Ann, Harrison, Cranky.

BrewFan

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

!!! November 27, 2013

Posted by daveintexas in Art, Ballistics, Crime, Economics, Food, Heroes, Man Laws, Mufuckin Pie!, Nature Shit, Pop Culture, Sex, Sports, Stupid shit, Women Ranting, WTF?.
7 comments

Pecan_pie,_November_2010

I Am In Charge of Meat Fire On Saturday October 7, 2013

Posted by daveintexas in Ballistics, Food, Nature Shit, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Stupid shit, Women Ranting, WTF?.
11 comments

This is gonna be GREAT!

 

How_To_Start_A_Barbecue_Fire-1md (336x448)

 

Eerybody just chill.  I got this.

 

What Michael Wants, Michael Gets September 5, 2013

Posted by BrewFan in Ballistics, Crime, Sex, WTF?.
2 comments

Pony: A Horse Ahead of His Time June 27, 2013

Posted by daveintexas in Economics, Law, Philosophy, Sports, WTF?.
11 comments

A Wisconsin man who was caught last year having sex with a couch pleaded guilty to public lewdness Monday.

Gerard Streator, 47, was sentenced to five months in jail for the furniture fornication, according to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.

s-COUCH-SEX-largeGerard Streator –  Upholstery refinisher, Lover

He seems, normal I guess.

via Instapundit

UPDATE: story says it’s not a couch, it’s a love seat.

So he’s just unclear on the concept.

Texas Wins Another Case Against Dept. of Commerce June 5, 2013

Posted by daveintexas in Ducks, Entertainment, Food, History, Law, Nature Shit, Sidebar Flag Bullshit, Women Ranting, WTF?.
8 comments

I met Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott last year at a luncheon, and had a chance to speak with him a bit.  He was just celebrating a successful case filed against the EPA.  I asked him “what is it that you spend most of your time on?”  and he answered “suing the Federal government.”

Loved that answer.  Here’s another one, successfully pushing back a stupid emergency ruling that arbitrarily shortened the red snapper fishing season in Federal waters off the coast of Texas.

Abbott understands federal bureacracies abuse their power constantly, and doesn’t back down from a fight.  The case he was celebrating was a ruling in the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals that the EPA had improperly rejected the state’s “Flexible Permitting Program” regarding the establishment of controls over permits for electricity generation plants.  Texas wanted to keep control of permitting in our hands and not the EPA’s.  The EPA’s intention was to take it over and start denying applications.  It’s what they do.

Here’s a snippy NPR article about the outcome of that case.  Forget the typical NPR bullshit, look at the photograph of Greg Abbott in the article.

Greg Abbott is wheelchair bound.  Nice photo, isn’t it?

Incidentally, Texas was thrown into the provisions of the Cross-State Air Pollution Rule based on a model that showed a monitor located across the street from a steel mill, shows a theoretical reading that is slightly above attainment.

A monitor in Illinois.

Let’s be very clear about the facts.  The last-minute inclusion of Texas in the sulfur dioxide portion of the rule is based on modeling that says an Illinois monitor, located across the street from a steel mill, shows a theoretical reading that is slightly above attainment.  Actual data from 2009 forward shows that this monitor is meeting the federal air quality standards today.  And even if the feds relied on their own computer simulated modeling predictions, that monitor would be in attainment in 2014 without any reductions from CSAPR.  So does Texas’ tenuous link to this monitor justify the state’s inclusion in CSAPR? No.

He’ll run for governor soon.  I’ll support him.