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Report From Boston October 11, 2007

Posted by Michael in Politics.
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8 comments

Many people wonder: “Is Boston hopeless?”

It’s easy to assume that there is no hope for a bastion of liberal idiocy like Boston, the town that gave us Ted Kennedy, Michael Dukakis and Tip O’Neill.

I worry about this, because my son lives there, and I fear that his brain will turn to mush in that environment. So, I decided to leave the safe environs of Ohio and mount an expedition to Boston, to determine if there was any sign of hope for that metropolis.

THERE IS HOPE!

While strolling through the lovely gardens of the Boston Commons, I found an object discarded  on the path, leading me to believe that at least one   Bostonian had come to his senses.

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Whose Idea Was It To Make Illinois A State, Anyway? October 7, 2007

Posted by BrewFan in Uncategorized.
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46 comments

Eff ’em all.

And the horse they rode in on.

Ohio State University Defeats Global Warming! October 2, 2007

Posted by Michael in Science.
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17 comments

Relax! The crisis is over.

COLUMBUS, Ohio – Ohio State University researchers say a breakfast byproduct could play a role in a new way of powering cars.The researchers say they’ve found that eggshells can help produce hydrogen for fuel cells that mix the gas with oxygen to create energy for running a vehicle. Instead of exhaust, all that’s emitted is water vapor.

The current process for obtaining hydrogen also produces carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas. Ohio State engineering professor L.S. Fan says his team has found that when eggshells are added to the process, they absorb the carbon dioxide.

Researchers find better way to power cars – Innovation – MSNBC.com

I’m so excited about this — The War On Global Warming™ has been won. This is a moment to savor one of the great triumphs of mankind.

This is a moment to get up and dance! And yes, I have an egg-cellent music selection to get you on your feet.

[sonific=cadce1c2e061836370db2e21954dc25f6bcafed4]

 

Number of Inoculations? October 2, 2007

Posted by skinbad in Crime, Ducks, Sex.
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1 comment so far

A man robbed an adult store after using some in-house supplies to handcuff the female clerk. He then opened the cash register using Astroglide and a plug-in vibrator. It wasn’t locked. That’s just the way he rolls.

bortaS bIr jablu’DI’ reH QaQqu’ nay’ September 30, 2007

Posted by Mrs. Peel in Crime, Economics, Food, Heroes, Humor, Man Laws, Philosophy, Sports, Women Ranting.
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9 comments

*ahem*

and furthermore.

(fyi, the title of this post is a reference to the fact that I wouldn’t have said a word if not for a certain individual’s unpleasant remarks last week.  Never let it be said that I am capable of rising above petty carping and oneupmanship.)

Girl from Videotape Found September 29, 2007

Posted by Pupster in Crime.
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4 comments

She’s OK.

On Friday, the girl was found safe in Las Vegas and a fugitive who knew her family was named a suspect in the case, authorities said.

Have you seen this scumbag?

scumbag

He’s an oxygen thief.

How To Acknowledge a Good Joke September 27, 2007

Posted by Michael in Commenting Tips, Man Laws, Websites.
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76 comments

I am sick to death of “LOL.” It is such a tired expression that I would be embarrassed to use it. Now, it has gotten even worse because it is associated with cat-bloggers posting “lolcats” pictures. Those people are the dregs of the Intertubes and they pose a major threat to the viability of Western Civilization.

The variants of “LOL” are not much better. Take “ROFLMAO” for example. You can’t usually use that, because you sound like an idiot. The joke was noteworthy, but you were not actually rolling on the floor and laughing your ass  off, and you sound like a dork if you say that.

So, sometimes I just type out a compliment, but that is cumbersome. It takes some effort to type out a comment that says: “Thank you, sir, your witticism elicited a hearty chuckle from me.” Normally, I just chuckle and move on, without acknowledging the joke.

We need a new acronym to do quick joke recognition. I’m proposing that we use “GLAR” as a quick reference to “giggling like a retard.”

This has the advantage of capitalizing on a common Intertubes expression, but one which has not been acronymized yet. (Yes, I am aware that “acronymized” is not a word — I just made it up.)

So, in response to Dave’s comment in a thread below that the song “Mohammed’s Radio” is about homosexuality, I say:

GLAR!

Extra-Large Sideways Pineapples Needed–STAT September 25, 2007

Posted by skinbad in Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
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57 comments

Update:

Update2:

Update to the Update: