Unemployment at 9.9%? It’s Actually Reasonably Good News! May 7, 2010
Posted by geoff in News.trackback
We (well, I) missed the unemployment release last month, so I wanted to be sure to hit it this month. And on this fine day the BLS tells us that unemployment has risen to . . . . . . 9.9%!
Yep, we actually added a lot of jobs last month (290,000 non-farm), but 800,000 people came back into the labor force, which increased the unemployment rate. It’s amusing that the BLS made a big point about the effect of laborers coming back, but they never discussed it when the laborers left in the first place. And the MSM followed suit.
Actually, though, this is what we’ve been waiting for – we can’t even start talking about recovery until the labor force gets back to its normal level. In previous months the unemployment rate would drop because huge numbers of people people dropped out of the labor market, so even though the administration was crowing about the success of their policies, we knew that we were still in trouble. Now they’re coming back (hopefully with good reason?), so the unemployment rate will start to more truly reflect the employment situation.
This is the economic shoe that’s been waiting to drop, and now that it’s begun, we can start talking about real healing of the job market. So even though the unemployment rate rose, it is more indicative of recovery than all those 9.7% rates we’ve been looking at over the past 3 months.
[Ed Morrissey agrees. Jim Hoft doesn’t]
Note: The Bureau of Labor Statistics will be having a web chat on Tuesday (May 10, 1 – 2 pm EST) to answer questions about unemployment data. More info here.
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Innocent Bystanders 
Construction is starting to pick up in my area, I think it’s pretty typical for spring.
YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!! Unemployment is only twice what it was a year ago!!!!! WOO HOO!!! It’s time to party like it’s 1999!!!!!!
Now, if we can keep that pesky national debt to less than 5 times what it was a year ago, we’ll be making some real progress!!!!!
Real unemployment, U-6 is still climbing, now at 17.1%
If anything it’s the seasonal hope that summer will be better. Happens every year. I don’t see it as a sign of anything.
The seasonal hope of summer will be quashed by $5/gallon gas if we recover from the oil spill quickly, or much more than that if the drilling ban continues long.
I heard the Taliban has a few new openings this month…
The whole new projection line looks awfully hopeful. As if they back-bitted a need/desire/hope to have unemployment at around 8% when it is re-election time.
If anything it’s the seasonal hope that summer will be better. Happens every year.
Seems like seasonal adjustments would compensate for that.
Real unemployment, U-6 is still climbing, now at 17.1%
Yes, but even U-6 was formerly artificially suppressed due to the decline in the labor market. Now that decline is starting to be corrected.
Thanks, Geoff.
So the cockroaches in charge are struggling to find enough dark hiding places to continue to propagate their lies? Is that about right?
So the cockroaches in charge are struggling to find enough dark hiding places to continue to propagate their lies?
I’d say that it’s more a case of: today they’re telling the truth, but it just shows how badly they were distorting the news over the past 6 months.
I’d say that it’s more a case of: today they’re telling the truth, but it just shows how badly they were distorting the news over the past 6 months.
Hope so, but skeptical. Anticipating… How many more ways can they find to distort the truth?
How many more ways can they find to distort the truth?
The truth just happened to serve their interests. This month.
Enjoy the Funemployment while you still can, America!
[…] Yet the attacks and attempted attacks continue. And everyone knows it was luck, and not anti-terror work, that prevented American deaths on Christmas Day and in Times Square. Republicans want to know what went wrong and are becoming increasingly angry at a White House that is keeping details of the case to itself. Check back for updates, I’ll be adding more to the mishmash as the day wears on. – Oh yeah, THIS: – Hot Air: Oh my: Palin endorses … Carly Fiorina; Update: Palin responds to critics – I answered, “eh” in the poll. Not happy about it, but I think Sarah’s a crafty one, I think she knows what she’s doing. You know who could use a ‘Cuda endorsement? That guy in my upper right hand corner, that’s who. – Our “special relationship” with Great Britain just got a lot less special with the election of PM, David Cameron: – Gateway Pundit: Figures… Obama Already Insulted Pro-American UK Conservative Cameron- Called Him a “Lightweight” Great. I wonder how long this has been going on?: – DMV Employees Arrested For Allegedly Selling IDs To Undocumented, Brokering Fraudulent Vehicle Titles The new unemployment chart is here, the new unemployment chart is here!!!: – Geoff at Innocent Bystanders: Unemployment at 9.9%? It’s Actually Reasonably Good News! […]
And if we take out the 600,000 census workers?
Sam, why do you want to take out the 600,000 census workers? Why do you hate Obama? WHY ARE YOU A RACIST?
Also, if they’ve been lying about the economy since September 2008 – why should I believe this is the truth now? Kinda don’t. I’m bearish and will remain so for quite awhile. Housing never finished unwinding (a runup of 400% resulted in a correction of …. 25%. Um, no.) I honestly think the only reason unemployment slowed in the fall was because people were waiting to see what shoe would drop next before they made a move. With health care coming soon and higher taxes, I expect more unemployment.
And the birth/death thing is just a frickin’ joke. They don’t bother to correlate the calculations with, you know, actual business tax filings.
Sam, why do you want to take out the 600,000 census workers? Why do you hate Obama? WHY ARE YOU A RACIST?
Wow. Jump in ‘logic’ Ella.
*Am I falling for a joke? *pokes Lauraw* *scowls *
When Sam said “take out the census workers” it wasn’t because he’s some ‘hater’ threatening to take them out violently.
More likely Sam’s suggesting we consider REMOVING them from the employment STATISTICS keeping in mind they are VERY SHORT TERM employees. They are an anomaly that makes the numbers appear to be more positive than they are/will be when they are all laid off.
Cathy, I think Ella was being sarcastic 🙂
BTW, I just booked my flight for July. Can’t wait to meet you!
*quivery little pang of anticipation*
*builds little fort of cushions under desk*
*holes up in fort and alternately despairs and giggles*
May be a just a skosh too shy & high strung for this sort of thing. But that ain’t stoppin’ me. Meeting you folks is just too awesome.
Woo-hoo. We booked too. Par-tay!
Yeah, kinda felt like Ella was joking…
May be a just a skosh too shy & high strung for this sort of thing. But that ain’t stoppin’ me. Meeting you folks is just too awesome.
I gotta say, Laura, that I admire your courage.
No, I am not shitting you. I’m an introvert too (INTJ), so I get the effort this takes. I’ve had two IB meet-ups at my house, and my core impulse is to go hide somewhere.
Actually, last night we hosted a political fundraiser here for a local city councilman, the last surviving Republican on the Irving City Council, who got redistricted because the Dem mayor is trying to get rid of him, who can still demand accountability and stuff like open bidding on contracts, and whose position is threatened by the corrupt Irving Democrat political machine. He’s a cool guy.
It went well. But, as a co-host with Cathy, I had to talk to a bunch of strangers from my neighborhood and be friendly. That is fucking work for me.
The last time we met in Connecticut, I was really impressed at how well you pulled that off. You were a gracious hostess and friend, and you made it easier for me. Playing against type like that is a learned behavior that is not easy. I get that.
Also, that awesome coffee-flavored tequila helped.
One really positive thing I learned last night is that Irving is going to take off. It’s a demographic fact.
Irving has been a declining community for a couple of decades. GTE got acquired by Verizon, and Irving was no longer a headquarters town.
But it is all about location. We’re in between two major airports, and will soon be the beneficiaries of the most ambitious light rail system on the planet connecting us with downtown Dallas. We have huge amounts of developable land on major corridors, including the tract where the former Cowboys Stadium was recently demolished. Major medical centers are interested in that land.
All the highways to Dallas are being improved, with Porkulus money, I suppose. I see this work on my daily commute.
Meaning, my house might actually appreciate in value if I sit tight for a few years.
Pfft, no courage involved at all.
I get over the shyness by gently wrapping my arms around people and holding on until they become even more uncomfortable and weird about eye contact and conversation than I am.
It’s a pretty good strategy.
If you can’t beat ’em, force them to co-inhabit your awful little universe of unbearable strangeness.
I get over the shyness by gently wrapping my arms around people and holding on until they become even more uncomfortable and weird about eye contact and conversation than I am.
That worked on me.
So that’s why Dave fell in the ocean.
Michael, you think Irving will be able to compete with the cities further north? Collin county cities north of Dallas especially on the tollway seem to be really booming.
I get over the shyness by gently wrapping my arms around people and holding on until they become even more uncomfortable and weird about eye contact and conversation than I am.
I countered this heinous assault with my drunken dance moves.
Hah!
You can’t top me at making people uncomfortable, Missy Laura.
Michael, you think Irving will be able to compete with the cities further north? Collin county cities north of Dallas especially on the tollway seem to be really booming.
What I heard was yes, because of (1) highways and commute times, (2) airports, (3) available public land for major projects that can generate jobs, like the convention center being built now and the site of the former Cowboys Stadium, (4) light rail system coming online, (5) great existing amenities and office space in north Irving (Las Colinas), and (6) lots of cheap land in south Irving, which is now sort of an Hispanic slum in a great location that is ripe for development.
Our Republican city councilman is hugely bullish on this place. He’s just afraid the Dems that control the town will fuck it up. He says there is a coalition forming, which includes groups from the south side, to elect a Republican mayor. That would be a huge upset for us, and the political winds are all blowing in our direction.
This guy is pretty interesting. He’s an elderly man who is basically an insurance salesman with degrees in law, business, and engineering. He’s a life-long Irving resident who got involved in local politics just because he cares about transparency at City Hall. It’s costing him money to keep his seat.
People north of Dallas in Collin County are in commuter hell. Buying a house in Plano means you have to gauge how much time you spend on the road, or how much money you spend on the tollway, which can be a major expense.
Irving aims to be a more accessible inner suburb with its own employment base, like Richardson, plus we got both major airports on either side of us, so we are smack dab in the middle of a major transportation hub — the home airports for American and Southwest.
Better still, the takeoff path for the planes at the closest airport, DFW, is not overhead. They take off to the northwest, towards Grapevine. If the weather is bad to the north of Dallas, the glide path for arriving planes sometimes gets close to us, but they are relatively quiet and fun to see. Airplane noise is not an issue.
I am convinced that this town has huge potential. We will see.
By the way, the councilman I am talking about, Tom, answers his own phone. After the event at our house, Cathy called his office about sending him a check. Tom answered. He and his wife stopped by to pick up the check. I thought that was hilarious.
During the party at my house, I told him that he should get a frickin’ PayPal button on his website.
During the Q&A session at my house, after Tom made a short presentation, people were asking Tom about various local issues. It was really quite a lively town-hall kind of exchange, local politics at its best.
It was up to me to ask the question that was on everyone’s mind.
I said, “Tom, how did you get such a good-looking wife?”
(Tom and Linda are age-appropriate, she’s not some young trophy wife, but she is much hotter than him.)
Well, that stumped him. His answer was he didn’t know. He confessed that this was a mystery he could not explain. He assured me I was not the first person to ask him that question.
“I don’t know” is really the only good answer to that question. I have been dealing with that question for over three decades about Cathy. If you try to explain it, you lose.
>> You can’t top me at making people uncomfortable, Missy Laura.
That’s probably true. He used “bad touch” a lot.
He’s Badman.
That’s probably true. He used “bad touch” a lot.
*note to self: pack pepper spray*
Hey, y’all. I was thinking of posting this old post on immigration here at IB sometime during the weekend. It was pretty popular 3 years ago, but I think the message should probably get out there again. But I don’t want to bury the blog in: 1) serious posts, and 2) my posts.
What to do, what to do? Wurra, wurra, wurra.
^
Geoff, it will be a winner if you just update it with a relevant picture. Maybe some Amsterdam hookers or some Gummi Bears, for example.
Batman,
I am typing this comment from my new company issued Blackberry. I estimate this ends up upping your stock option value by a tiny fraction of one cent.
You could use this picture to advocate for secure borders.
Here’s a really good picture of an illegal alien.
I estimate this ends up upping your stock option value by a tiny fraction of one cent.
Tell those cheap bastards you work for that you need an iPhone. They hook up to enterprise servers now, so you can get your Outlook mail, calendar, contacts, etc., and they are much cooler.
I get over the shyness by gently wrapping my arms around people and holding on until they become even more uncomfortable and weird about eye contact and conversation than I am.
Yeah. I remember that hug, Laura. It was so sweet.
My myers- briggs is not much different from Michael — INTP — but in depth stats show I really WORK at getting through the shyness. Most folks argue with me about the shy-thing, but trust me, we compensatorsare out there. After a party I’m exhausted and want down-time to read a book or sumpin.
I have been dealing with that question for over three decades about Cathy. If you try to explain it, you lose.
I like the way he cooks his meat.
Michael, I scemed and plotted to be among the first ones at the company to get an iPhone, but it seems the suits don’t like getting gadgets before them.the good news for you is that all the suits will be gettibg one
suits don’t like techies getting gadgets before them
suits don’t like techies getting gadgets before them
Righto. Remembering when upper-levels had fancy computer systems on their desks that never got used because they didn’t know how and had no reason to learn.
I scemed and plotted to be among the first ones at the company to get an iPhone
‘schemed and plotted’ = whined and pouted like a leetle girl
‘schemed and plotted’ = left threatening letters with photos of dead farm animals
‘schemed and plotted’ = hunger strike that no one noticed. It lasted two hours
‘schemed and plotted’ = made angry brown person stinkeye at executives behind their back
‘schemed and plotted’ = put stinky fish curry dish in the office microwave and cook it for 45 minutes
‘schemed and plotted’ = ask around the office if the bosses’ daughter is “legal” yet
I don’t anyone would believe me if I said I was shy, so I’ll scheme and plot instead.
I’ll scheme and plot instead.
Instead of thinkin’ so hard, you could watch your feet and stay out of the water.
Just a thought.
>>whined and pouted like a leetle girl
what is wrong with whining and pouting like little girls? You don’t object when little girls do it, do you?
Oh, and the bosses’ daughter is a toddler.
I’m not shy. Therefore, I’ve said and done many stupid things. So there’s some entertainment value in that, at least.
‘schemed and plotted’ = applied for an NEA grant to build a forty-foot high statue of the boss having sex with a toaster outside the front door of the office, and “accidentally” leaving the application and concept art in his in-box.
^ toaster. Sobek wins coitus-creativity award.
I’m not shy. Therefore, I’ve said and done many stupid things. So there’s some entertainment value in that, at least.
OH.
OH.
If only. If only shyness prevented public stupidity…but no.
Noooo.
THERE IS NOOOO CUUUUUURE
THERE IS NOOOO CUUUUUURE
Then hold my hand as we grimace and jump into the river of shaaaame.
While shyness may not prevent public stupidity, my gregariousness practically assures it.
*my gregariousness practically assures it*
Cheers to you, Dave.
*Michael quaffs a shot of coffee-flavored tequila*
“Sobek wins coitus-creativity award.”
It was originally a sheep, but then I thought “I can definitely turn this up a level.” Besides, sheep is old and busted at this point. Toasters are hip and fresh.
Toasters are teh hot.
You should unplug it first.
>> You should unplug it first.
But wait, I thought I was supposed to be plu…Ohhhh, you mean from the electricity. Ok.
Le Toaster
Visually disturbing. Eek.
DON’T try to pry it out with a butter knife.
It’s not the volts, it’s the amps.
Who’s frying sausage?
As someone who grew up in Irving, it pleases me greatly to hear that the city is poised on the cusp of long-term prosperity.
It was in quite the funk after I left.
My parents just moved out of the house I grew up in. It makes me sad to think about it…that was always “my house,” or after I moved out, “their house.” And now it is going away. And the new house they have moved into and are still unpacking into in north Dallas is strange and sterile to me. I have no memories of the new place. That was not the back yard I fell and broke my arm in while racing my sister in the 3rd grade. That is not the fireplace mantel I would line up my Hot Wheels on the bricks to make my miniature mega-car-dealership. That is not the hallway where my sister and I would pass notes to each other after both being sent to our rooms for misbehavin’. *sigh*
Oh. I’m typing all this, instead of just thinking it, aren’t I?
Now that I re-read my little emo sissy-crap there, it dawns on me how quickly I set up roots. Even in my house now, Mrs. Reason talks from time to time about “our next place,” and the things she’d like to build differently, or how much more land she’d like for us to have.
I’ve been in this house maybe seven years, and I’ve already started to look at her like she’s touched in the brain when she brings this up.
Yes, we need more land. I would love to have an acre or more. But while she wants to move further out into Parker Cty, I devise ingenious land-grabs that involve waiting for everyone else around us to move, buying up their homes, razing them and taking down the fence.
I want an acre. And I can get it if I eventually snatch up the entire block!
Besides, everything I’ve planted seems to be thriving. I’ve finally gotten the yard “done!” The first trees died. They got replaced, then moved. Then what was planted where they used to be died. Now that’s been replaced with more trees, which are doing incredibly well. The photinias have outgrown the fence, and are now about to outgrow the view from the patio. The crappy fence made out of wood barely sufficient for a bonfire is about to crumble away, but that’s okay because the wisteria can pretty much stand on it’s own now.
Why would I want to ever move away from all that? I put all that stuff in the ground, where there used to be nothing! I painted rooms that used to be pure white. I’ve hung so many window treatments, I’m acutally good at it now. I think the only light fixtures that are still original are the ones in the closets…and even those were swapped out with larger two-bulb fixtures that were stock in the hallway, as the hallway ones were replaced with new.
I think all this as Mrs. Reason starts pining for the days when we can move, and I look at her like she’s an insane person.
And then the neighbor’s dog starts barking at…wind. Which sets off the other-neighbor’s dog. Which sets off the one across the street. Which sets off the one down the way. And before you know it, every dog in every backyard within a mile of me is barking. And I hug Mrs. Reason, and suppose I’m ready to move onto a couple of acres, too.
The Japanese Maple is coming with me, though. That bastard was expensive.
Hey, wind can be dangerous. We are just looking out for you.
avatar test
Besides, sheep is old and busted at this point.
No one informed me that sheep have busts.
Now that I re-read my little emo sissy-crap there,
Aw, dude, give yourself a break.
Relax. We’ve all done emo sissy-crap here. Me only a little, but Dave has done it a lot.
Maybe not quite as bad as you, but we’ve all done it.
I think all this as Mrs. Reason starts pining for the days when we can move, and I look at her like she’s an insane person.
She is an insane person. Think about it. She’s married to you. That’s how I know Cathy is insane.
Here, write down this basic emotional formula:
Female = Insane
You’re welcome.
I’ll bet your wife still kinda thinks she can make you into a better person. See what I mean? She’s a whackjob. They never stop trying.
OK, to be fair, they kinda succeed when they pump out babies, which actually does make you a better person. Aside from that, their efforts are futile.
We have a Japanese Red Maple also, which is really pretty, so I know what you are talking about. The nurseries rip us off for those damn things.
BTW, if you have a Japanese Red Maple, never run the sprinkler system on a hot day when the JRM is in full sun. That will kill it, due to their unique pigmentation. Run the sprinkler system at night, shortly before sunrise. If you are going to fuss with the sprinkler system in daylight, don’t get the JRM wet in the hot sun, pick a cooler cloudy day.
Trust me. A buddy of mine stupidly made this mistake while he was fussing with the sprinkler system. That guy is such a dumbass.
[…] the Obama stimulus promise vs. performance chart through April 2010 (HT commenter […]
Four days late, but if anyone cares… I was joking about Sam hating Obama and the raaaaacism and whatnot. 🙂
I care, Ella. Thanks.
BrewFan got it… I missed it, but he set me straight.
“I’ll bet your wife still kinda thinks she can make you into a better person. See what I mean? She’s a whackjob. They never stop trying.”
You would not believe the ambitious project Mrs. Reason has taken on lately. She thinks that, through nagging and sheer resolve, she can cure me of my bad habit of farting in my sleep.
In. My. Sleep.
Like I could control this if I wanted to!
I am told this attitude is indicative of “not even wanting to try.”
Like I could control this if I wanted to!
Got a cork?
She thinks that, through nagging and sheer resolve, she can cure me of my bad habit of farting in my sleep.
Have you informed her about all the horrible sounds and smells she generates while sleeping (even if she doesn’t)?
Just tell her to lead by example; as soon as she quits, you will too!
In. My. Sleep.
Like I could control this if I wanted to!
I am told this attitude is indicative of “not even wanting to try.”
Oh that is awesome! Hee hee hee!
I love other women.
*picturing TXMarko waking up bloated to twice his size*
“It worked!”
WELCOME……TO…..THUNDERDOME!!
“Two Go to Sleep!! One Wakes Up!!!”
*picturing TXMarko waking up bloated to twice his size*.
Me being twice my size would be horrible for anyone to wake up to.
Not to mention needing assistance getting out of bed. No cork for me.
TXMarko, I have sketched a quick design for a device that might alleviate your wife’s discomfort.
I can’t show you what it is until I patent it, but the components are a large rubber stopper with a hole for inserting tubing; several feet of flexible vinyl tubing; and a tubing-port in your wall or window that vents to the outdoors.
$500.
Call me. 1-800-BLO-HOLE
I once ate something funky, and drove my poor girlfriend to sleep on the living room couch. She actually ran out of the room covering her mouth.
I’m in my mid-thirties, and I’m pretty sure that was one of my greatest accomplishments.
I’m in my mid-thirties, and I’m pretty sure that was one of my greatest accomplishments.
Wow, that is pretty impressive.
You must be a little sad that your life has peaked already.
I have sketched a quick design for a device that might alleviate your wife’s discomfort.
Combine it with this and we’re talkin’ guaranteed marital bliss.
You must be a little sad that your life has peaked already.
Yes, I do get wistful from time to time.
But I take comfort in the knowledge that I have known glory. When I die, I’m going to Valhalla.
I’m in my mid-thirties, and I’m pretty sure that was one of my greatest accomplishments.
Worry not. As you get older, it only gets easier.
OK, I gotta clear something up.
It was Reason who said his wife was wanting to control his squeakhole effluent, not me.
My lovely bride and I, after 26 years of wedded bliss (in two days, actually), have pretty much reached an uneasy peace regarding these sorts of things.
Ain’t that what Marriage is about?
*TXMarko puts on Philosophical/Poet/Smartass Hat*
A Woman enters into a Marriage thinking she will change the Man,
but She cannot!
A Man enters into a Marriage thinking the Woman will never change, but She does!
… and Lauraw, you could make money with that idea!
Call the Inventors’ Hotline! 1-800-YOU-LOSE.
Just be sure to add a one-way valve into your contraption.
We can’t be having wasps, ants, and other critters seeking warmth at the far end of that vinyl tubing…..
Ooops, right you are, sorry TXMarko!
We can’t be having wasps, ants, and other critters seeking warmth at the far end of that vinyl tubing…..
“Doc, I’ve got a bad case of hives…”
Dave’s friend to doc: Oh, also I think I got me a hemmorhoid.
Doc: You know what they are, right?
Dave’s friend: Yeah.
Doc: Ok then, I don’t need to see it. Go get the over the counter stuff.
Apparently there are LOTS of women who manage to live with men for many years and never rip one in front of them. How is this possible, especially in the morning, e.g., when you get out of bed and bend over to pick up your clothes that are on the floor?
A friend wants to know.
Apparently there are LOTS of women who manage to live with men for many years and never rip one in front of them.
No, there are LOTS of women who are liars and blame the dog.
Trust me.
I’ll blame the ferrets.
I mean, my friend will blame her pets.
I’m gonna start blaming Lipstick’s ferrets too.
*oops
stinky ferrets.
Poor Casey. She gets the guilty look on her face when somebody else farts.
Someone must have trained her to do that.
*Michael glares at Cathy*
The ferrets are kind of funny because often when they sneeze they fart at the same time. They snart.
*oops
stinky ferrets
Poor Casey indeed, when we all know that Batman must be the cause of her guilt. Cathy would never fart. She’s far too classy for that.
Wiser, what did you have for dinner?!
I’m just going to blame mine on Sandy Burger. I’ll use his girlfriend as a reference.
If she’s off the respirator.
Wiser, what did you have for dinner?!
Dang woman – your olfactory senses are amazing!
Wiser, what did you have for dinner?!
ferret.
*oops
stinky ferret
I’ll use his girlfriend as a reference.
Ex-girlfriend, actually. That was many years ago.
She’s mostly recovered from the respiratory damage, but the emotional trauma is a burden she’ll have to carry for the rest of her life.
Apparently there are LOTS of women who manage to live with men for many years and never rip one in front of them.
A friend of a friend was one of these. Apparently she had various strategies. She generally farted in the bathroom sitting on the toilet, and found sex stressful if she had gas buildup. Yeah, I’m blessed with this knowledge. I wish I could scrub my brain.
My personal opinion is that we should make some basic effort to not be repulsive to the special one in our life. But beyond a certain point, it’s just pathological. I mean, come on.
And that, in a nutshell, is my opinion on the 9.9% unemployment. Should’a been an economist…
A former coworker of mine, in his days as a single man, experimented with various food combinations for maximum flatulent effect.
The winning combo, noted for not only its’ Intensity but its’ considerable Quantity, included cottage cheese, raw cauliflower & broccoli, cabbage, and cheese.
It was from these experiments that the Theory of Fecal Particle Density was formed.
… and that is the “Rest of the Story”…
Best thread ever.
When I accuse Mrs. Reason of bigotry, on account of her own noctural flatus, she gets offended, swears that I am lying, and makes a concious effort every night for the rest of the week to sleep on her back.
Mmm-hmm.
She clings to the ideal that a woman should never do anything socially inappropriate except when completely isolated. When we first got married, there was what I referred to as a “two-door minimum” in order for her to use the bathroom. She would always use the master bath, closing not only the bathroom door, but also the door to the door to the master bedroom. The first time I breached the outer hull, and was “found” in the bedroom watching TV when she emerged from the inner sanctum did not go well.
M.R “What are you doing in here!!!?”
R *points to TV* Deadliest Catch. *manly grunt*
M.R “The door was closed! What’s wrong with the other TV?”
R “Kids want.” *eyes remain fixed on Alaskan bad-assery*
M.R “I was in the bathroom! The door was closed!”
R “Yes.”
M.R *pause* “…you don’t even care!”
R “Hun, seriously..we’re married. I don’t care if I hear you in there ripping ass…”
M.R “I DO! AND DON’T CALL IT THAT!”
R “Here, if makes you feel any better, you can hear me too…” *leans over and hikes a leg up as Mrs. Reason runs from the room in abject horror*
[…] so the rate rose to 9.9%. To make real significant gains, we need to add 500,000 per month! (From Innocent Bystanders – the dotted line below New Projection is projected based on congressional testimony by the […]
The first time I breached the outer hull…
+1 for awesomeness…
Yo Brew, as curator for the IB Comment Hall of Fame, I think you should consider #115.
Mrs. Reason needs to lighten the fuck up.
Just saying.
Comment Hall of Fame has been updated.
I’m disappointed that none of the comments I’ve had nominated have actually made it in. 😦
this one, for example, which Michael nominated at #43.
I nominate comment #121.
I can sympathize with Mrs. Reason and her outer hull.
When staying with my girlfriend in her little studio apartment with its paper-thin bathroom door, I feel awkward dropping a deuce. I can hear through the door if she so much as turns a page in a book, and I’m in there practically tearing the fabric of spacetime, as silently as I can.
*oops.
stinky ferrets.
I love it how we’re talking about farts and bathroom stuff and some respectable blog throws a link to the original article in the middle of all that.
… and I’m in there practically tearing the fabric of spacetime, as silently as I can.
Ok that was hilarious.
I nominate Sandy at 124. Brilliant.
“Mrs. Reason needs to lighten the fuck up.”
She has. Significantly. Two kids and the realization that she’s pretty much stuck with me for life have worn off her edges. 🙂
“When staying with my girlfriend in her little studio apartment with its paper-thin bathroom door, I feel awkward dropping a deuce. I can hear through the door if she so much as turns a page in a book, and I’m in there practically tearing the fabric of spacetime, as silently as I can.”
NICE. White noise options that I have learned from my “training” at the hand of Mrs. Reason:
– ventilation fan
– run the sink
– time your flushes with rippin’s.
I nominate Sandy at 124. Brilliant.
I second the nomination.
That won’t happen at my house, reason.
My husband and son make dumping a grand event. Announcement before, Commentary during, and Discussion/Celebration afterward.
Reminisce until the next event.
Commentary during?
*awed silence*
I can’t even imagine…
Also: Mrs. Reason was absolutely mortified by the episode of Jon & Kate where Kate would photograph her beaming, proud children seated on the floor next to the training-potty with their first successfully-landed excrement.
My husband and son make dumping a grand event.
Once in my youth, after not going for several days for some reason, I took a dump that was tremendous.
So I did what any guy would do: I went and got my brothers.
“You guys have to see this dump I just took.” They looked at me like I was crazy. “Dude, that’s disgusting. There’s no way we wanna see something like that.” But I insisted. “Seriously, you gotta see this.” Finally, they reluctantly agreed to take a look at my creation.
Yeah. They were impressed.
>> Commentary during, and Discussion/Celebration afterward.
Reminisce until the next event.
Never happened here. One of the differences between living with women vs. men.
Dave – they do it, just not when you’re around.
No you goof, the talking-showing-bragging thing.
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