Innocent Bystanders

Pee Wee’s Big Holiday March 18, 2016

My family watched it on Netflix tonight. If you liked the first movies 30 years ago you’ll probably like this one. We all enjoyed it. Not an amazing film, but worth the time to watch it if you want some silly entertainment. The make up artist deserves an award considering Paul Reubens looks about the same as he did 30 years ago despite being 63 years old.

The wife got sick of my wise cracks about the male bonding between Pee Wee and Joe Manganiello.

Cultural Appropriation is My Culture March 17, 2016

After reading this column at the National Review, I was stricken by how offensive social justice warriors are to me and my culture.

According to a piece in the Concordian, Concordia College’s official student newspaper, St. Patrick’s Day partying can amount to “subtle cultural appropriation,” and people should be very careful about how they celebrate it.

“Most of the people who celebrate St. Patrick’s Day now do not understand its cultural significance,” student Johnny Wagner writes. “Thus, St. Patrick’s Day is, in fact, an example of subtle cultural appropriation.”

Well, little Johnny Wagner, let me tell you about cultural appropriation, American-style. You see, being an American means being open to cultural influences from anywhere and anyone. It means taking the parts of those cultures that I like, and integrating them into my life as I see fit.

Period.

My culture is as valid as any other, and I actually consider that aspect of it to be superior to others. The world is a salad bar, and we’ve paid for unlimited trips to the trough. Other cultures have borrowed liberally from each other – we’ve just institutionalized it.

So if my cultural appropriation offends you, well, that’s just tough, I guess. Your claim that your culture is beyond appropriation offends me. We are the American Borg Collective, and the interesting parts of your culture will be modified and assimilated as we see fit.

…or even mocked, if that entertains us.

Ramen Cookies March 14, 2016

Those who know how little I know about fashion are stunned to find that I know even less about cooking. I mean, how small can zero get?

But I post frequently on fashion, so it’s time to give a cooking post a go. For my first foray into this unknown realm, I decided to go with a timeless classic: Ramen Cookies.

Why Do People Steal? March 13, 2016

Liberals and conservatives have very different views of stealing. Conservatives place the blame for stealing directly on the criminal, and are not terribly receptive to excuses for this criminal behavior. Liberals, on the other hand, tend to look for reasons why a thief might have have extenuating circumstances, and why they should be given another chance.

I was mulling over this difference when it occurred to me that when I talk to liberals, they always assume that thieves are economically-driven to steal. That is, they steal to provide food and shelter for themselves and perhaps their families. I think most people, even black-hearted conservatives, would have sympathy for the thief in that case.

But conservatives don’t believe that’s the case. They believe that people steal for drug money or because it’s a convenient way to get some spending money. A much less noble motivation, and one that I would hope would erode even a liberal’s sympathy.

But who’s right? Is it drugs or food? Well, based on a survey of 422 inmates in Ohio, North Carolina, and Kentucky, liberals should harden their hearts a bit. The survey asked inmates how they typically spent the proceeds from their crimes (note that each respondent could pick more than one motivation):

Baskerville font in honor of Sobek’s Chap Hop hobby

This type of poll is likely to suffer from a bias toward “Living Expenses,” since it is the only somewhat virtuous response available. After all, it takes an honest thief to admit that they stole for drug money or to blow it on partying.

But even if we take “Living Expenses” responses at face value, it’s difficult to separate money stolen for drugs from money stolen for food. As an earlier study pointed out:

The majority of the offenders we interviewed were chronically poor and lurched from one financial crisis to the next. But most of these crises were of their own making; substance abuse and gambling exhausted their financial resources almost as quickly as they were accumulated. This created a vicious cycle, whereby the self -indulgent habits of our subjects propelled them deeper and deeper into financial desperation.

As you can see from the responses, at least some of the people who stole for drugs also stole for living expenses. Certainly they would have had more money for necessities had they not been spending it on drugs.

So there you have it. While there are probably people who resort to robbery to afford life’s essentials, they do not constitute the largest fraction of robbers. And conservatives are correct: robberies usually occur to support drug habits and frivolous spending.

Advantage conservatives.

My New Favorite Thing Ever March 10, 2016

I just discovered a new musical genre, Chap Hop.  Here’s a nice introduction by Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer:

Apparently he said something that didn’t sit too well with Professor Elemental, who had to call for his Fighting Trousers:

Professor Elemental also does a song called Clockwork, but I can’t find it on YouTube or I would certainly be posting it here.

Doubling Exports, Obama-Style March 10, 2016

The Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) released their import/export data last week, including revision of the numbers for all of 2015. They made our illustrious president and his pledge to double exports look much, much worse:

Exports today are lower than they’ve been in 4 years, and the decline seems to be accelerating.

But like his broken promises concerning green jobs, manufacturing jobs, and electric cars, the president doesn’t let it concern him. He’s fine with making up fibs about the health of the economy and the success of his policies.

I’d sure like some reporter to ask which policy it was that succeeded, and how it impacted the economy. But he’d probably just lie about it (again) and the reporter would nod her head worshipfully.

Talking vs. Chewing March 10, 2016

This seem unlikely, but here you go:

The ability of humans to talk may have been influenced by how early people were able to master the art of cooking and chewing their food, a new study says.

Evolutionary biologists Daniel Lieberman and Katherine Zink from Harvard University examined how early techniques in preparing and even consuming food helped our ancestors developed smaller jaws and teeth that were more finely tuned for speaking.

Doesn’t that imply that the ultimate evolutionary food would be . . . Cheetos?

Chewing doesn’t get any easier than this

Chuck Norris Birthday Facts March 10, 2016

It’s Chuck Norris’s 76th birthday today, so the Telegraph has 13 Chuck Norris “Facts” for you, each accompanied by a classic photo of Chuck. Here’s #2:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Not the best collection of Chuck Norris Facts, and they’re all old, but hey – Happy Birthday, Chuck!!

The Forgotten Campaign Promise March 9, 2016

If I was a manufacturing guy, I’d feel, well, abandoned by the administration. The administration grabbed a bunch of manufacturing union votes in the last election by promising to add a million manufacturing jobs in four years.

With 5 months yet to go, they’re stuck below 400,000 jobs added. In fact, in the past year they added only 12,000 manufacturing jobs. Yep, a thousand jobs a month.

A racist might get the notions that: 1) the administration doesn’t have a prayer of making it, and 2) President Obama doesn’t care.

Fortunately none of us are inclined to be that cynical, nosirree.