Dave in Texas for President! January 25, 2008Posted by Michael in Politics.
In a thread below, it has been moved and seconded that Dave in Texas be nominated by the Republican Party to serve as the next President of the United States of America.
This is a somber moment. We should all pause to reflect on this historic occasion.
I believe the IB Community should seriously consider various aspects of this proposal. For example:
WHAT ARE DAVE’S QUALIFICATIONS FOR THE JOB?
So, off the top of my head, I would say . . .
. . .
. . .
1. The current candidates all suck.
2. More than Dave.
WHAT PLATFORM SHOULD DAVE RUN ON?
Based on Dave’s previous pronouncements, we have a running start here on a strong platform:
1. Pie is good.
2. Sammiches are good.
3. Other stuff, like America should defend its sovereignty by controlling its borders, nanny-state liberalism should be shunned in favor of limited government, judges should respect the actual text of the constitution, the War on Terror should be won, and similar boring opinions that nobody gives a rat’s ass about but will give him something to say during the campaign after he takes a stand on pie and sammiches.
IS DAVE ELECTABLE?
See, there are some serious issues in this regard.
1. Sketchy academic record.
2. Paraffin waxer.
5. Deviates from pure Lutheran theology.
Still, with a strong platform, and considering the suckitudinous gaggle of candidates we currently have, Dave may be able to overcome these negatives. Especially because chicks like him.
Well, they like him more than me.
*Michael grinds teeth*
What do you think?
I say: DRAFT DAVE FOR PRESIDENT!!!
UPDATE: I forgot to mention another of Dave’s credentials. He already owns a sound rig that can handle any campaign event. So that’s something to consider.