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Dog Bark Translator January 16, 2008

Posted by Pupster in Literature, Science, Women Ranting.

Life imitates The Far Side:

BUDAPEST (Reuters) Hungarian scientists are working on computer software analyzing dog barks that could allow people to better recognize dogs’ basic emotions, Hungarian ethologist Csaba Molnar said.

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
Yahoo News: Computer can help your dog communicate


1. dr4 - January 16, 2008

The Far Side was the best comic strip ever.

2. Pupster - January 16, 2008

I’ve got a pretty good idea what my dog is saying most of the time, I don’t think it works going the other way.

3. eddiebear - January 16, 2008

This reminds me of when Homer Simpson’s brother made that gizmo that could decipher baby babble.

4. geoff - January 16, 2008

I’ve got a pretty good idea what my dog is saying most of the time, I don’t think it works going the other way.

That 2nd cartoon also applies very well to Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, etc.

5. Retired Geezer - January 16, 2008

Pupster, I love that cartoon. We used to have it on our fridge along with the similar one for Cats.

That was before we had the “Nice Fridge” *
It doesn’t have any magnets, kid art, notes or junk hanging on it.

* See Dave in Texas story about “Nice Tree and Crap Tree”.

6. dr4 - January 16, 2008

Theres also a Far Side with a bunch of cows joyriding through a city going “Hey, Heeeeeyyyyy” to all the humans they pass.

7. kevlarchick - January 16, 2008

And there’s the Far Side which shows what a dog understands when you scold him for chewing up your shoes:

“blah blah blah Moses, blah blah Moses blah Moses blah blah blah blah.”

8. Dave in Texas - January 16, 2008

One of my favorites was a row of dogs, all quietly looking up in the sky at something, but you can’t see what it is.

The caption read “Mrs. Gilpie’s cat moved cautiously along the clothesline”.

9. Retired Geezer - January 16, 2008

My favorite of all time is the one where Doreen’s Day Care is located next to Ed’s Dingo Farm. All the Dingos are lined up on the fence watching the kids.

Trouble Brewing.


10. Dave in Texas - January 16, 2008

blah blah blah Moses, blah blah Moses blah Moses blah blah blah blah


To his credit, he never got one of mine, but I didn’t leave them laying around to tempt him either.

11. wiserbud - January 16, 2008

My favorite far side is two deer talking, one with a target on his chest and the other saying “Bitch of a birthmark you got there, Ted.”

12. dr4 - January 16, 2008

another favorite would be the one where the female gorilla is grooming her husband and says: “Well well – another blond hair…Conducting a little more ‘research’ with that Jane Goodall tramp?”

13. Sobek - January 16, 2008

I like the factory that manufactures banana peels, floor wax and ball bearings. The best part is the look on the production manager’s face, scowling at the employees.

14. dr4 - January 16, 2008

How about the one where there are two cops standing over a dead body at a Butlers Convention: “This is not how you want to start a Monday.”

15. Sobek - January 16, 2008

Michael Knight just lost a tax appeal before the Supreme Court. KITT’s gonna be devastated.

16. The Hof - January 16, 2008

STFU Sobek.

17. Pupster - January 16, 2008

My favorite Far Side. I used to have this one on my desk, with the sign photo-shopped to read “(Former employer) Employee Entrance”

18. skinbad - January 16, 2008

I grew up near Midvale. I usually push on the wrong (hinged) side of the door and it takes a moment or two to figure out why in the hell this door is so heavy. I don’t, however, fall out of my office chair.

19. compos mentis - January 16, 2008

One of my alltime favorites:

“Leonard painted that and hung it up there just this morning. He calls it: ‘It’s My Couch! My Couch! Don’t They Understand?!’ “

20. dr4 - January 16, 2008

I have never seen that one compos. I thought i had seen just about all of them too.

21. Blond Moustache - January 16, 2008

I stopped talking to my dog when I asked him about sex. I said, “so, what does it for you? I mean, what kind of sex are you into?”
and he said, “ROUGH!”
So, I just ignore him now.

22. dr4 - January 16, 2008

a guy sees a sign in front of a house:

“Talking Dog for Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?”

The owner replies, “He is such a FUCKING LIAR!”

23. Pupster - January 16, 2008
24. BrewFan - January 17, 2008

lol, pups!

25. Dave in Texas - January 17, 2008



26. wiserbud - January 17, 2008

Lonely Man’s Diary.

Day 44 – Found a stray dog today. Seems pretty smart. Think I’ll call him Max.

Day 45 – Amazing! Max has learned to talk! Honestly, it is the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my life!

Day 46 – Max is not allowed back in the house until he apologizes.

27. evilconcarne - January 19, 2008

dr. 4 you are forgetting about calvin & hobbs that is the best comic strip ever

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

28. AnimeCloud – Jason Thompson’s House of 1000 Manga - December 3, 2010

[…] and comics. But they are smart, and they do talk to one another. (Nor do they talk like in this Far Side cartoon) They talk and talk and talk. They talk about things that you might be surprised to find out that […]

29. A Far Side successor ? - August 9, 2012

You need to be a part of a contest for one of the most useful sites online. I will highly recommend this blog!

30. No More Surprise, Just Facts and Good Music « chode school. - January 19, 2013

[…] mountains could talk I am sure it would be boring, much like the Far Side comic where the scientist adapted headphones to translate what the dogs were saying and all it was was, “Hey, hey, hey, hey…” Shut up, […]

31. A crazy but true story! - October 4, 2013

[…] remember Gary Larson' canine decoder cartoon? Dog Bark Translator | Innocent Bystanders -> Don If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane. – Jimmy Buffett Reply […]

32. Dog Bark Translator, A Decade Later | Innocent Bystanders - January 17, 2018

[…] course Pupster wrote a similar post almost exactly 10 years ago, where Hungarian scientists were claiming the same thing. Pupster’s vision of how it might […]

33. brian - February 8, 2021


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